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Hey, MPAA-- up yours!

Filed under: Imported

(Jack Valenti, president of The Motion Picture Association of America-- the hardest sucking man in show biz)

On this weekend's installment of their movie review show, Richard Roeper announced that he and Roger Ebert were actually wand-searched at a Chicago critics' screening of the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre as part of New Line Cinema's beefed-up anti-piracy security tactics. To think that either reviewer might be sneaking in a video camera to copy any movie (let alone this one) is ridiculous, and-- as Ebert pointed out-- the very next day the studio released the film to thousands of commercial theaters all over the country, so what the fuck is the point? (Those last words are mine, not Roger's, but I doubt that he'd disagree.)

Earlier this month, the MPAA tried to ban distribution of screener copies of films eligible for this year's Oscar nominations (screeners are video copies sent to all potential voters, and in recent years they've been on DVD, which make damn nice bootlegs). It was a typical iron-fisted approach to security that was protested throughout the industry, including every top director in Hollywood. (Robert Altman, who organized the petition that basically stopped the effort in its tracks, called it "a real Karl Rove move.") While the MPAA has backed down a little, its compromise-- specially-encoded VHS tapes-- still has most in the biz upset, especially over the McCarthy-esque anti-piracy pledge each Academy member must sign to get their copies.

And now comes news of the MPAA's latest brainstorm: anti-piracy classes aimed at public school students. A class called "What's the Diff?-- A Guide to Digital Citizenship" aimed at grades 5 through 9 will attempt to spell out the evils of file-sharing, complete with songs featuring catchy lyrics like "If you haven't paid for it, you've stolen it." The course will also offer free DVDs and players to students who write the best anti-piracy essays. (No word as to whether they'll also give out DVD burners or blank CDs.) Fortunately, the youth of America is having none of it, with kids heckling the guest "instructors" with internet-savvy slogans such as "Host it in Uzbekistan".  Maybe it's true after all: kids are the future.

P.S. While many of us thought Jack Valenti would never step down from his post short of having his mouth filled with garlic, just this weekend it was announced that he would be giving up the cushy gig he's held since 1966. Unfortunately, his replacement is very likely to be ultra-rightwing Louisiana congressman Billy Tauzin. So much for the myth of liberal Hollywood.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 25, 2003 11:00 PM

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