December 2003

« November 2003 | Main | January 2004 »

Bad Dialogue of the Season

Filed under: Imported

Unfortunately, I didn't get around to listening to Mike Malloy's Xmas show until after the holiday, but the anonymous version of "O Holy Night" that he played that evening was so toxic, I think it'll get its message across even a few days after the fact. Hell, it's so bad, its smell may last until next Xmas. Anyway, you can listen to it here-- don't miss it. (Note: File size is large-- 1.6MB-- but it's worth it.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 28, 2003 6:01 PM

 

The Frederic Wertham Memorial Cover Gallery

Filed under: Imported

 

Ghost Comics #9, 1953, featuring a classic bondage pose, one of Dr. Wertham's favorite topics.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 28, 2003 5:38 PM

 

The Outbursts of Everett True by Condo and Raper (1907)

Filed under: Imported

With this last cartoon, we bid farewell to dear ol' Ev.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 27, 2003 3:04 AM

 

Happy birthday, Harry Shearer

Filed under: Imported

Although C. Montgomery Burns appears to be well into his second century by now, the man who provides that old dastard's voice-- along with a dozen or so others on The Simpsons-- is a mere 60 today, which means that he now begins his seventh decade in show biz.

At an age when most of us are finishing sixth grade, Harry was already a seasoned pro in both radio and TV. He acted with Barbara Stanwyck on The Lux Radio Theater and was a regular cast member of The Jack Benny Program during its final years. (He was a member of Jack's scout group, The Beverly Hills Beavers.) He also appeared as young Jack on an early episode of Benny's TV series and-- his last TV work until the '70s-- he was in the pilot for Leave It to Beaver. (Beavers seem to be the recurring motif in Harry's early days.) Also, he got to hassle Lou Costello in the first scene of Abbott & Costello Go to Mars.

I became a fan of Harry's in the '70s, even though it took awhile before I really knew who he was. He was a fourth of a very funny radio troupe called The Credibility Gap (I still have both their albums), and worked on the faux talk show America 2-Nite with Martin Mull and Fred Willard. (He once did a character who was the president of the Tom Snyder fan club, and his imitation of ol' Tom was countless times better than Dan Aykroyd's.) I especially loved his work with Albert Brooks-- he co-wrote Albert's first feature film, the innovative Real Life, and A Star is Bought, one of the funniest comedy albums of all time, where Brooks tries to come up with a track for every existing radio market, from talk to classical. (For the latter, they wrote lyrics to Ravel's "Bolero". such as "There'll be no pregnancy here/I'm as potent as a warm glass of beer.")

You know the rest: This is Spinal Tap, 14 years of The Simpsons, all the way to A Mighty Wind this past summer. (Harry's final moment in Wind was probably its funniest, and that's saying something.) My favorite of all his recent projects, though, continues to be his one-hour radio program, Le Show. It's a throwback to "casual" broadcasting, like the shows of Jean Shepherd, mixed with some of the best audio comedy being done. (His on-going soap-opera Clinton-something was the main reason I wanted Bill to be elected for another four years, because the series would continue, too.) In the past two years, however, Shearer's humor has become even more pointed, and he did great programs after both 9-11 and the beginning of the war in Iraq. He closed the 9-11 show with a chilling quote that I heard nowhere else, from an unnamed Army General regarding the attack on the Pentagon: "We never thought of that."

So happy birthday, Harry, and may you have many more. Now, as Monty would say, Get to work!

A more recent picture of Mr. Shearer, from the webpage of photographer Paynie.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 23, 2003 11:59 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz-- closed for the holidays

Filed under: Imported

I'll be around this week and next, but I know that a lot of you won't be, so I'm using that as an excuse to take it easy, quiz-wise, for the rest of the year. The blog will still be partially up and running, but we'll get back to the quiz in a couple of weeks. Sincere thanks to the people who have participated every week, and I'll see you all soon.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 22, 2003 5:23 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Filed under: Imported

Counter-clockwise, from top left: Spike Lee, John Canada Terrell, Tommy Redmond Hicks, and Tracy Camilla Johns

I've gotta say, I'm not very happy to see that She's Gotta Have It, Spike Lee's first feature and last week's mystery movie, will soon be old enough to vote. (It was released in 1986 but filmed in '85.) It's hard to believe that this little gem can be so old now, or that I'd still find it necessary to tell people about it, but of all Spike's films, this is the one that remains relatively unknown. (It's also the only one of his movies not available on DVD, which doesn't help.)

But I didn't have to tell the following quiz winners about it: Wayne A. Palmer, Mike Everleth, Peter Schilling Jr., E. Yarber and Hank Parmer. Congrats, men-- your 40 acres and a mule are on their way!

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 22, 2003 4:58 PM

 

The Outbursts of Everett True by Condo & Raper (1907)

Filed under: Imported

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 21, 2003 2:52 AM

 

The Frederic Wertham Memorial Cover Gallery

Filed under: Imported

Dark Mysteries #18

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 21, 2003 2:51 AM

 

Bad Dialogue of the Week

Filed under: Imported

Don't worry, I'm not going to trash Luis Bunuel's 1967 erotic masterpiece, which gave us Catherine Deneuve at her loveliest. Belle de Jour is a film for the ages, one that can be watched repeatedly and still seem fresh. It is truly a thing of beauty.

The original American trailer for it, however, is another story. Put into the hands of Allied Artists, a company that made American-International look like a bunch of lit majors by comparison, the film was treated like a typical soft-focus Euro skin movie, with dubbing to match. Remarkably, there was no music in the film, so AA chose some Mantovani-like schmaltz for the preview-- listen to how the theme improves with repetition, as well as how it comes to a screeching halt whenever they add a snippet of talk. Also notice the natural-sounding way the voice actors have with Bunuel's translated dialogue ("So, it's the rough stuff you need, huh?").

One can't help wonder what the '60s drive-in audience thought of Belle de Jour after a preview like this. Expecting to see something wild-- maybe even a nipple!-- they were instead treated to one of Bunuel's typically surrealistic films, with an ending that must have caused a lot of horny teenagers great befuddlement, to say nothing of countless cases of blue balls. But don't blame the movie-- blame this trailer. (Note: File size is 400K.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 20, 2003 9:37 PM

 

Out on a Limbaugh-- A Rush update

Filed under: Imported

   
"Hey, kid-- got any pills?" Rush "Monobrow-in-Broadcasting" Limbaugh, from arguably happier days in his alter ego as the dashing Jeff Christie.

Give his handlers their due, they have kept continuing news of Rush's personal and professional crash and burn to an absolute minimum. (His attorney is Roy Black, who defended William Kennedy Smith on rape charges-- at the time, Limbaugh said on-air that the Kennedy family knew Smith was guilty, which was why they hired Black to represent him.)  Back from a gruelling 30-day detox at a place that uses yoga and horse-assisted therapy, Limbaugh is back on the air acting like nothing ever happened, and won't. Unfortunately, he's probably right about the last part.

Still, the story is too colossal to bury completely, and a few tidbits have surfaced since his return. Besides his continuing legal woes (narcotics traffiking, money laundering), he's now being investigated for "doctor shopping"-- from one pharmacy alone, Rush got 2,130 pills in a five-month period. Almost as soon as that news hit the fan, a memo from his network was leaked to the New York Daily News concerning how to put a happy face on the Limbaugh mess, the better to protect their #1 cash cow. Even his filthy rich Palm Beach community has been in the news regarding their celebrity neighbor, and they don't like being made to feel  guilty by association. And this week it was reported that Limbaugh and his lawyers are trying to keep his medical records sealed, so the world won't know exactly how depraved his drug use really was. Personally, I can't wait for the next episode of this soap-opera, which I like to call Rush to Hell.

(One bit of news that has been overlooked is that Rush made the top of the list for the new annual award, Yutzes of the Year. Click here to listen the inner thoughts that won him the honor.)

Ann Coulter's idiotic statement that liberals now have a drug user that they can hate (they already had one, Ann: George Bush Jr.) can, I think, be turned into an intelligent question for Limbaugh's fans: Why is this guy worthy of  sympathy, forgiveness and freedom, but others who committed his crimes-- and according to the way you people vote, you consider his behavior criminal-- should be scorned and thrown in prison?  To use an expression that Limbaugh himself has used to justify all his bigotries and lies, where's the intellectual consistency there? (Pretty high-falutin' words, by the way, coming from a guy who flunked out of college in his first semester.)

Those of us who despise this phony asshole are already fuming over how he will undoubtedly walk away scot free from all of this, avoiding jail sentences that have been doled out to millions of others over the past 20-plus years, the majority for offenses less than his. Most of the people in U.S. prisons are there for breaking drug laws, and I'll bet that a lot of guys in those facilities would love to meet Rush.
 
We can remind ourselves, however, that even if Limbaugh evades incarceration, the life he's led for the past several years must have been smaller than any actual jail cell. I wonder if he didn't suffer from the same guilt over the despicable things he's said and done that Lee Atwater apparently did at the end of his life. So he turned to hard drugs to kill the pain and became as hooked as anyone ever has, and the chances are good that he's probably already taking them again, rehab be fucked.

Now, branded as a hypocrite and criminal, facing one possible prison sentence after another, and-- worst of all-- of no use to the political powers to which he sold his soul (in order to get, ironically, the life he has now), his world will become even tinier, and the loneliness and self-loathing he'll feel will be even worse than when those feelings drove him to dope in the first place.

Good.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 17, 2003 5:53 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #32

Filed under: Imported

Is this quiz easy or another toughie? You decide-- it's a single sound clue, and you can listen to it here.

Hints: the director is about as well known as directors get, but it's sometimes more for comments he makes than for his work. (He also acts in some of his films, like this one.) And as beloved as this movie is, it's the only one of his that's not available on DVD.

That should be more than enough for many successful searches at the Internet Movie Database. If you come up with the title-- or, better yet, actually know this gem-- send me an email by late Sunday night, and next Monday you can see your name in our insatiable winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 15, 2003 5:12 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Filed under: Imported

It was a nice turnout of past winners for last week's quiz, but it was just what I'd expect when the movie in question is one of the greatest comedic works in the history of humankind, the immortal 1933 Marx Brothers film Duck Soup. Directed by Leo McCarey, it's 70 blessed minutes of slapstick, surreallism, lowbrow schtick and sophisticated political satire, and most Marx fans agree it was their best work. Groucho himself thought A Night at the Opera was the best, but that Duck Soup-- he always emphasized the first word-- was the funniest. According to critic Tim Dirks, the title came from a recipe of Groucho's: Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup the rest of your life.

(During the first Gulf War, the much-missed magazine Spy played a prank on several members of Congress, asking if they would support U.S. military intervention, if needed, to help our ally Freedonia-- every one of them said yes.) 

Free of the boring musical numbers that make Opera and A Day at the Races hard to take without a fast-forward button, it was the last all-Marx movie-- from then on, they'd share the screen and bloated running time with Kitty Carlisle and her ilk. It was also the last movie Zeppo would make with his brothers, and while most Marx fans say "Good riddance," I'd still take him over Allan Jones any day. The picture has a wonderful supporting cast, from co-stars Margaret Dumont, Louis Calhern and Edgar Kennedy to brief turns by Leonid Kinsky and Charles "Ming" Middleton.

There is a wealth of material on Duck Soup and the Marxes to be found on-line. To start, check out Roger Ebert's nice reminiscence of the movie and this really nice page of Marx photos. And when your appetite is sufficiently whetted to see the film again (or-- lucky, lucky you-- for the very first time), read this NY Times article about why it and the other Marx movies aren't available on DVD.

So big heigh-de-hoes to the following quiz winners: Wayne A. Palmer (who also supplied The NY Times link), Hank Parmer, Paul Murphy, E. Yarber, C. L. Lavorato, Mike Hardenbrook, Joe Rosenberg, Steven Jay Gellert, and Kika Warner.

A rare photo of the five Marx Brothers-- from left, Zeppo, Groucho, Chico, Gummo and Harpo.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 15, 2003 4:47 AM

 

The Frederic Wertham Memorial Cover Gallery

Filed under: Imported

Chilling Tales #13, Dec. 1952-- see if you can make sense of this Matt Fox madness.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 14, 2003 1:13 AM

 

The Outbursts of Everett True by Condo & Raper (1907)

Filed under: Imported

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 13, 2003 2:56 PM

 

Bad Dialogue of the Week-- "How to Speak Hip"

Filed under: Imported

Once again, this week the dialogue is intentionally bad, from the cult comedy LP How to Speak Hip by Del Close and John Brent. Close, a guiding light of Second City and mentor to people like John Belushi and Bill Murray, plays a typically strait-laced interviewer who has difficulty understanding the hipster patois of his subject, Mr. Geets Romo (Brent). Romo begins his tutorial by explaining what's cool and uncool (the uncoolest of all questions: "Where'd ya get it?", the first of many pot references on the disc), and ultimately takes the interviewer out on the street for an actual buy!

The album has been a favorite of those in the know for decades. In 1966, a 24-year-old Brian Wilson, hard at work on Pet Sounds, originally named one of the songs after Romo's catchphrase "And then we'll have world peace." Had it been more readily available in the early '70s, it would have been a hippie classic.

Here's one of the best of Romo's convoluted explanations, where he describes the differences between a put-on, put-down, come down and bring down. (Note: File size is 1 MB.)

P.S. Del Close made a bit of a stir after he died when he bequeathed his actual skull to the Goodman Theater in Chicago. He is now their permanent Yorick.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 12, 2003 10:49 PM

 

Drudge sponsor "sells" SONG OF THE SOUTH DVD

Filed under: Imported

Image from a nice website devoted to the movie-- see it here before it gets shut down like every other SOTS page that I looked up.

Old websurfing habits are hard to break, so most days I still contribute at least once to Matt Drudge's hit-count, and I've come to love the stupid banner ads at the top of the page. Sales pitches for the George W. Bush talking action figure (I hope it says something about "The pee-ance free-ance in Iraq") and burning questions like "Do you support Mel Gibson?" give you a peek into the kitschy, pop-culture side of the right-wing psyche that you don't usually find.

Recently, Drudge sported a sponsor that brought his page down to an even lower level, an outfit offering DVDs of Song of the South, the 1946 Disney feature based on the Uncle Remus stories. The ad has already been replaced so I can't link to it, but the banner flashed a message crying, "The movie Al Sharpton doesn't want you to see!" Jesse Jackson's name is used in a similar statement on the webpage. (The unnamed writer of the ad copy also states, "Brer Rabbit is black from his head to his tale [sic].")

To my knowledge, neither reverend has made an issue of the film's availability, but Disney has: they have kept the picture out of release since the '70s, apparently to avoid future complaints more than ones that have actually been lodged. (In the fifties, the NAACP criticized the depiction of the slave-master relationship, but today seems to have no opinion on the movie.) The webpage for the DVD puts it differently: "Since the mid-1960's Song of the South has been suppressed by the shrill unthinking voices whose knee jerk reactions of suppression are, more often than not, based on their own prejudices rather than some actual racist theme in the film that they suppress."

Bootleg copies have been plentiful over the years, the original source being a laser disc produced by Disney for sale in Japan, the only time and place it has ever had a video release. The studio routinely crushes auctions on eBay for tape copies and scours the internet for downloadable digital ones. Needless to say, any version of SOTS not manufactured by Mouse Inc. is illegal.  Yet the webpage claims, "Now, due to the democratic nature of the internet, you are actually able to obtain digitally re-mastered videos and DVDs of the film and products related to the film!!!"

So how can Drudge's new sponsor sell it? Well, they can't-- when you click on the DVD button to buy a copy, there's a message above the order form that states: "The forces of suppression have struck. They threatened to take our server space if we continue to exercise our first ammendment [sic] rights and make these masterpieces available." I'm guessing that, in other words, Disney griped to their webserver about their illegal activities and suggested that the ISP pull the plug on them. (I'm also guessing the words "or else" were added at the end.)

But wait! Where there's right-wing greed, there's always hope in the form of some shameless scam, and this company's idea is a classic. They write, "Due to Copyright restrictions we can not directly sell you a copy of the film, however you can still purchase this Silent Sam Confederate Poster for $59.00 and receive a SPECIAL PRIZE!.. Bet you'll never guess what the prize is! Hint; it is a DVD movie and Jesse Jackson does NOT want you to own it. Heaven only knows why." The assumption is that if they make no money from the direct sale of the film, they can still make copies to "give away". I'm betting that Disney's lawyers disagree.

The company's page offers other vintage entertainment for disgruntled modern-day losers of the Civil War: a CD of a 1929 recording by "The Two Black Crows" (Moran and Mack, two white comedians of the day who did an Amos & Andy-like act) and Louis Leon's Diary of a Tar-Heel Confederate Soldier, which is referred to on the main page as "Jewish Confederate Diary". It should all appeal to Drudge fans, too-- "Support The DrudgeReport; Visit Our Sponsors"-- and fedoras off to Matt for showing the rest of us so clearly who he thinks those people really are.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 10, 2003 3:19 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #31

Filed under: Imported

Okay, as an early Xmas present, this week's quiz is as easy as it gets, I swear. (I know, I've said that before and only gotten three correct replies.) It's a comedy classic that everyone knows featuring three of the funniest guys who ever lived. Really, if you don't know this one, there's no hope for you!

If you do know it, though, please send me an email by late Sunday night, and then prepare to see your name in next week's winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 8, 2003 5:50 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Filed under: Imported

I really regretted not being able to post any sound clips for last week's quiz, because the movie in question is a treasure trove of groovy tunes and heavy talk. Of course I'm referring to the 1968 classic Psych-Out, directed by Richard Rush (The Stuntman) and starring Jack Nicholson (check out the size of his billing on the above poster). For the tie-dyed potboiler it was intended to be-- it was distributed by American International and produced by Dick Clark, two names that never ensured high-minded cinema-- it holds up surprisingly well today as a great time capsule (sugar cube?) movie.

Although the rest of the cast is strong (including Henry Jaglom as Warren, who freaks out in the gallery), Nicholson is the main attraction. As the love-'em-and-shit-on-'em lothario Stoney, Nicholson is both his typical magnetic self and an intentional parody of same. He knew he looked ridiculous in his fake ponytail pretending to play guitar and he made the most of it. (His band's main tune is an upside-down version of "Purple Haze.") Others in the cast weren't quite as hip to themselves, especially Susan Strasberg, whose emoting is stuck on full volume almost throughout the film. Bruce Dern doesn't come in until an hour or so, but he's worth the wait: he's never looked more demented and that is truly saying something. All this plus Sky Saxon and The Seeds!

Psych-Out is currently available in a beautiful-looking DVD that pairs it with the other psychedelic classic of its time, Roger Corman's The Trip (which was written by Nicholson). The best part is that the disc is part of MGM's Midnite Movies series which are usually loaded with extras and retail for only $15 each. Recommended, especially for "herbally enhanced" viewing.

So congratulations and a four-way hit of Orange Barrel to the following quiz winners: Wayne A. Palmer, Mike Everleth, Hank Parmer, Jay Downing, Stephen Heller, Paul Murphy and E. Yarber. 

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 8, 2003 5:43 PM

 

The Frederic Wertham Memorial Cover Gallery

Filed under: Imported

 

Crime Suspenstories #22. art by E.C. mainstay Johnny Craig-- probably the most notorious horror cover of them all

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 7, 2003 4:08 AM

 

The Outbursts of Everett True by Condo & Raper (1907)

Filed under: Imported

 

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 6, 2003 7:16 AM

 

Bad Dialogue of the Week

Filed under: Imported

 

Most people don't know that the first few years of radio broadcasts were ad-free, and when the burgeoning networks introduced commercials to their programs they were despised by the audience. Listening to this 68-year-old spot for Horlick's Malted Milk, that reaction is easy to understand-- note especially the sour tone of the father, and his cavalier attitude toward his son's appetite problem. Doesn't like milk? Let him drink coffee!

First marketed in 1883, Horlick's Malted Milk became popular in the '20s and was similar to Ovaltine, another regular sponsor of old radio and early television shows. In the '30s, Horlick's advertising was done by none other than the great George Pal, and there's a wonderful webpage devoted to the Puppetoon short features he did for the product. (They ran in movie theaters just like "real" cartoons.)

The stuff must have really been something: sometimes it's touted as an appetite suppressant and other times as an appetite stimulant. And believe it or not, it's still available as a specialty item, so you can decide for yourself if the claims are true.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 5, 2003 3:55 AM

 

Bad dialogue of last week

Filed under: Imported

 

Reefer, er, Rocket Man William Shatner

Our sound problems at the ol' weblog are temporarily fixed, so here's last week's bad dialogue, better late than never. Well, maybe-- it's an anti-drug public-service spot starring three members of the cast of Star Trek. Considering that the phrase "watching Star Trek" used to be code for getting high (it elicited some winks and chuckles at the 2000 Democratic convention when Tommy Lee Jones mentioned that he and his buddy Al Gore used to do it), one wonders how sincere this ad really is. Judge for yourself-- you can listen to it here.

 

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 3, 2003 4:29 PM

 

Monster Movie Double-Header

Filed under: Imported

The Manster (1962)-- "Half man, half monster!"

 

with second horrifying feature . . .

The Hastert (2003)-- "Half human, all asshole!"

 

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 2, 2003 9:41 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #30

Filed under: Imported

A software glitch prevents me from doing a sound quiz this week. So, with apologies, we'll make due with a plot synopsis.

A deaf girl is looking for her brother, who has disappeared. (A group of longhair-hatin' rednecks are after him because of his "opinions.") She falls in with a rock band called Mumblin' Jim, and is especially attracted to the ponytailed bass player.

A guilty pleasure of the highest order, the movie has a few things going for it, but it's probably most admired for its dialogue-- if my sound files were working, it could be a quiz and a "Bad Dialogue of the Week" entry simultaneously, with lines like "Warren's freaking out in the gallery" and "You're righteous, Stoney, but you're not hip."

Another hint: the male lead was on his way up at the time, but became a huge star soon after and stayed that way for decades.

That's it. If you know the name of this movie, send me an email before late Sunday night, and if you're right, you can see your name in next week's trippy winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 1, 2003 5:59 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Filed under: Imported

 

Double your Splendor, double your fun-- Paul Giamatti with Harvey Pekar

After coming off two consecutive music-only quizzes that even stumped some of our never-miss regulars, I thought I'd make it a little easier by choosing a current movie for last week's mystery movie. It worked, but not as well as I thought it would-- by late Sunday night, it had garnered only half-a-dozen correct responses, which tells me that American Splendor still needs to be seen by a lot more people. I've seen it twice now (it's rare for me to view a film a second time anymore) and I'll watch it again as soon as I'm able, because I think it's as original and funny as any American movie I've ever seen.

Of course, I should admit upfront that I'm very biased: I've been a Harvey Pekar fan since the very first. Besides being an admirer of his writing, I've also been impressed by the guy himself over the years, so I probably would have rooted for this film version of his life and comic even if it had been a dud. Fortunately, the movie lives up to the title American Splendor even more than Pekar's original comicbook, because it's not only faithful to Harvey's work, its creators also do justice to him as an everyman hero. If you think an uplifting movie can't be made about a sour middle-aged government file clerk and his equally maladjusted wife and friends, you really need to see this one.

There's a lot about this film that I love and want to discuss, but technical problems at the old blog require me to sign off early today, so I'll get back to it soon, I hope. Meanwhile, congratulations and a big helping of pina colada jelly beans to the following quiz winners: Mike Everleth, Wayne A. Palmer, Peter at Mudville Magazine, Hank Parmer, C. L. Lavorato, and Paul Murphy.

Posted by Steve Monaco at December 1, 2003 5:36 PM

 

« November 2003 | Main | January 2004 »