February 2004

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Happy Birthday, Ralph Nader . . . and Steve Monaco!

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It's our birthday today. Ralph is 70 and yours truly turned 50. The main difference between us is that Ralph, at his age, feels like running for president, whereas I, at mine, feel like running for the bathroom. Good luck to both of us.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 27, 2004 11:41 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #40

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This week's quiz is a little longer than usual (2 minutes 30 seconds, 500K file size). That's deliberate, because the dialogue in this film is so great, I find it difficult to shut it off. Other than the very familiar voices in the sound clues, the only other quiz I'll give you is that it's from the '40s, based on  a play, and directed by one of Hollywood's longtime greats.

If you know the title, send me an email by late Sunday night, and next Monday you can see your name in our humid winners circle. Good luck.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 23, 2004 5:37 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

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In preparing last week's quiz, I tried to think of another movie that led to even a halfway serious call for the star to run for real-life office. The only one I could think of was Bedtime for Bonzo, definitely not in the same league as Warren Beatty's masterpiece, Bulworth. (Hard as it is now to believe, four years ago the post-Clinton field of candidates was so meager that Arianna Huffington tried to launch a "Beatty for Prez" campaign, and for a week or two, it almost looked like he was going to do it.)

The story behind the film, as I recall, was that Rupert Murdoch wanted Beatty and wife Annette Benning to star in a remake of Love Story (which they did), and that Beatty held out until Murdoch allowed him to follow it up with an original film of his choosing, with no studio interference. When Murdoch saw the anti-corporate, anti-Republicrat laugh-fest that the star had made, the right-wing mogul allowed the finished picture to sink like a stone, believing that the $40 or so million it cost was still cheaper than the price he might ultimately pay if the film became popular and started changing people's minds about, well, pigs like him.

And with the right push, it could have been incredibly popular, both because of its multi-faceted message that addressed what's wrong with our political and social systems and because of the way that message was presented as "light entertainment." The assassination subplot and much of the comedic dialogue is there to sugar-coat a very sour and serious film that dealt with race and class in America, and it all works beautifully. It's a film that should be trotted out every election season, and, unfortunately, it will probably only look more prescient as the years go on.

So a 40-ouncer and a nice fat blunt to the following quiz winners: Wayne A. Palmer, E. Yarber, Peter at Mudville Magazine, Bill Hearne, Michael Oleksyn, and Hank Parmer.

P.S. While there is certainly no absence of online reviews of the film, one I especially like is the Sight and Sound review by Richard Kelly.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 23, 2004 5:31 PM

 

Greil Monaco's No-Life Top 10

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This is usually where I give a grovelling apology to Mr. Marcus for again stealing his idea; however, I've pulled this lame stunt several times now and haven't heard from him once, so I think it's safe to say that he doesn't know about it. So screw the mea culpa-- let's get right to the ripoff.

1) The "Bowel Ride" kiddie exhibit in the center area of Des Moines' Methodist Medical Plaza. I'm never in a good mood when I have to visit the doctor, but even my outlook was momentarily brightened by the sight of several small children giggling and scampering around in the main hub of the hospital, enjoying one of those maze things, in this case an extended tube big enough for little kids to crawl or even run through. It was only when I was right beside it that I saw what it was supposed to be: the kids were capering inside a blown-up simulation of the large intestine, and it was complete with graphically-labelled trouble areas. I don't think I'll ever forget seeing one mother talking to her toddler through a bloody-looking hole in the tubing labelled "Severe carcinoma."

2) Norah Jones, Feels Like Home (Blue Note). Paul Simon's explanation of the singer/songwriter's sophomore jinx problem is still the best: "You have your whole life to write your first album, you have six months to write your second." Thanks to a debut CD that refused to stop selling, Norah got more than half-a-year, and she still came up a cropper with this tryptophan-rich turkey. She's too young to be this dead-- she makes Chet Baker sound like Little Richard. Other than a couple nice songs at the beginning, the tunes are moribund, too, with some lyrics so lame that they'd even make Mike Love laugh. The absolute worst: a duet with Dolly Parton, who now sounds like a wobbly-voiced old hellhag, which, of course, she is.

3) William Bennett, obedient servant. Great piece by Michelangelo Signorile about Matt Drudge's pathetic attempt to matter in politics again. Signorile points out that while Drudge fanned the flames of the unconfirmed rumors about an affair between John Kerry and an intern, he never mentioned another, even more salacious story being currently checked out by reporters about a "relationship" between former drug czar William Bennett and "a leather-bound dominatrix bodybuilder in Las Vegas."

4) All-Star Survivor (ASS). Okay, I know the title is actually the reverse, and it's certainly not a commentary on the show. In fact, this "Greatest Hits" version of the only good reality show is the best since its magic first season. This is the ultimate reunion show, where the audience favorites from all the past seasons have a battle of the masterminds. For my money, there is still only one, and his name is Richard Hatch. Richard's understanding of group psychology is even better than the casting geniuses behind the show, and it's great fun watching him run mental rings around the others. So far, though, the best moment involved his "final four" partner, old Rudy. This time, Rudy didn't fare as well-- he's now 75, and playing a physically gruelling game. When the others voted him off, mainly for his own good, they were in tears and so were you, watching the noble old soldier finally limp away. So it was a jolt to then hear him say, during his taped farewell speech, "Dem people that voted for me, dey'd better steer clear of me. I got a lotta friends!"

5) The ending of The Mike Malloy Show on the IEAmerica Radio Network. Actually, it's the end of the whole network: its owners, the UAW, pull the plug on all their programming on February 27. Malloy's show is the only loss, though, and it's huge-- for three years, he and his wife, Kathryn Bay, have put out the best fire-breathing liberal radio show imaginable. I'll have to work much harder now to stay informed about "the Bush crime family" without his daily summary of the news that doesn't make the mainstream. Malloy's outrage at what he sees as the fascist takeover of the country is unfeigned and unbridled, and some nights you wonder if he'll live through the show. The program provides a lot of laughs, too, and he actually has funny callers, a real rarity. (My favorite is Friday night regular Brother Sky Blue.) I hope he doesn't get a lot of time off and that he lands somewhere soon.

P.S. Malloy was on a Fox News show last weekend, and it's pretty fun to watch, at least until his mike was cut.

6 & 7) Steely Dan and Brian Wilson bootlegs from Bit Torrent. If right now you're asking, "What's Bit Torrent?", all I'll say in explanation is that it is a file-sharing program that could make Napster look like nothing. With this program, entire uncompressed CDs get circulated-- and what CDs! Now that they don't have to worry about their precious tapes being degraded by being turned into mp3s, bootleg fans are sharing their best stuff on-line. Thanks to a friend (I swear!), I've recently heard some Steely Dan live shows and outtake recordings that have given me as much pleasure as their "legit" albums. Hearing multiple versions of the songs on Katy Lied is an education in how Fagen and Becker molded each track-- they usually erred on the side of caution (for example, if there was some kind of joke in an earlier take, they'd always remove it), which is undoubtedly why the albums all sound as timeless as they do. The two hour live show from last year is a thing of beauty, with a fan's approach to the songlist; my favorite is a silky version of "Dirty Work" with the lead vocals performed by the backup singers.

Good as those discs are, the Brian Wilson stuff out there is even better. A two-CD set features a complete show from his Pet Sounds tour, where that entire album was recreated in concert for the very first time. Performed with a full orchestra as well as an inspired band that includes the fantastic Wondermints, it's the live version everybody always dreamed of. But the voice, which was one of the greatest beauties of the original, has changed as much as the man himself, so the effect is similar to hearing McCartney do Beatles songs: much depends on the love and forgiveness of the listener. No concessions need to be made for the cobbled-together Smile collection from the Unsurpassed Masters series of boots. The most famous album that never was, the one that supposedly set off Brian's mental and musical decline, this version (which replicates the original track list) is good enough just as it stands to be counted as a masterpiece. As the late Jack Paar said off the air, I shit you not.

Is anyone still awake? No? Didn't think so. Let's just say 8 through 10 weren't even worth a look and call it a list.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 19, 2004 3:49 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #39

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I think this week's quiz is easy. It's a musical clue-- well, sort of. If you know the movie at all, though, the "song" at the end should be a giveaway.

If you know the title of the film in question, send me an email by late Sunday night, and experience the deep satisfaction of seeing your name listed in our ideological winners circle. Yo!

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 16, 2004 8:10 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

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Almost three decades ago, when cable was still new and Cinemax was almost 100% movies, a little film called Assault on Precinct 13 became somewhat of a mainstay during the late-night hours. When a friend told me I should watch it, I laughed at him-- the title sounded like countless other generic action movies the cable service used to fill time with in those days, and they were almost always lousy. But one night, while showing off his new videotape-recorder (the Sony Betamax, all $1200 and 100 pounds of it), he popped in a tape of it that he'd made, and before I knew it, I'd become a fan of both the picture and its director, John Carpenter.

Originally titled The Anderson Alamo, it was the young movie-loving director's attempt to make a western (more precisely, to re-make one of his favorites, Rio Bravo) during a time when westerns were dead. So for less than $200,000, he made a movie about an abandoned precinct house under siege by an inner-city gang, with characters, situations and shoot-outs that could have come directly from Howard Hawks himself. And while it shows its age today, primarily in the pacing and its budgetary limitations, there was so much right about it originally that it still holds up as the breath of fresh, action-filled air that it felt like in the late '70s.

The three main actors were basically unknowns, and, unfortunately, stayed that way. Austin Stoker, who played the lead (and a black main character in a non-blaxploitation movies was still a rarity in those last-gasp days of the drive-in), seemed unable to continue his "star" status, and he's listed in only 10 other films at imdb.com, the majority of which had him playing characters called "Officer" and "Guard." The real star of the picture was Darwin Joston, who played the imprisoned killer Napoleon Wilson, and he fared no better, finally becoming a driver (or "transportation captain") on things like Back to the Beach, until his death in 1998. The oddest cast story, though, is that of Laurie Zimmer, who played the tough precinct secretary: after making one other film, she apparently stopped acting altogether, but became the subject of a 2003 French documentary called Do You Remember Laurie Zimmer?, in which she appears. They all deserved better.

Assault on Precinct 13 has only grown in stature over the years, and it can still engage an audience; I watched it recently with a jaded 11-year-old Matrix fan, and he was thrilled by it. Of course, the parasites of Hollywood (a Carpenter title if ever there was one) have already put the moves on it, and a remake with the dread Ethan Hawke is already in the works. I shudder to think how loud, violent and bloated it will be. But it doesn't matter-- Carpenter's film, with its inventive action scenes and fun dialogue, will retain its position as one of the most memorable and important independent films of the past. Even if we never do learn how Napoleon Wilson got his name.

So smokes and congrats to the following quiz winners for getting this one right: Joe Rosenberg, Wayne A. Palmer, Hank Parmer, Mike Everleth, John Anthony, Christopher Bahn and E. Yarber.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 16, 2004 7:35 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #38

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Okay, it's the week for a tough quiz again, and since music-only clues seem to separate the cineastes from the fanboys, here's a 40-second snippet of the main theme from a cult classic from-- hard as it for yours truly to believe-- nearly 30 years ago. It's a movie that opened the door for the director to make the movie that really made his fortune, but even now there are some admirers of his work for whom this film is still their favorite. (And yes, I'm one of them.)

If you recognize the tune, send me an email by late Sunday with the name of the film, and if you're correct, prepare to see your name in next week's winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 9, 2004 8:30 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

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Mike Schank and Mark Borchardt, enjoying their time in the sun as the stars of the documentary American Movie.

Last week's quiz wasn't quite as easy as I'd hoped it would be, with only five correct responses, but it wasn't because the movie in question was unknown. Just the opposite-- American Movie, directed by Chris Smith, is probably the most watched documentary of the past few years outside of the films of Michael Moore (whom Smith has worked with). That's as it should be, because in a way, it's truly the Great American Documentary: a film about a filmmaker trying to make a film.

As anyone who's seen it knows, though, the subject of the picture, a 30-year-old Wisconsin paperboy named Mark Borchardt, isn't your average filmmaker. Living at home while he tries to finish one movie to finance another, his relationships with family and friends become the true focus of Smith's picture, and it's as non-judgmental a look at severe dysfunction as you'll ever find. His best friend Mike Schank, whom many consider the real screen prescence in the picture, is a sweet-natured acid casualty who tells harrowing stories about near overdoses with a big grin on his face, and Mark is often shown in states of serious intoxication, but the movie never makes fun of them. Smith has a genuine admiration for Mark and his quixotic dreams of movie-making, and by the end, it takes a heart of stone not to share his affection for these lovable weirdos.

American Movie was one of the first independent films to benefit from the new promotional aspects of the Internet, and there are lots of good websites still out there. There's the official site, which features Mark's on-going online journal. A good interview with Smith and producer Sara Price can be found at the webpage for Filmmaker Journal (along with a great photo of Mark with his uncle Bill, the grouchy actor with the bad memory and false teeth in last week's sound clue). Finally and serendipitously, on the same day the quiz was posted last week, an AP story appeared with a follow-up interview with Mark himself. He hasn't given up, and I was surprised how happy that made me.

So congratulations to the following red-white-and-blue quiz winners: Wayne A. Palmer (who also provided the link to the AP story), Corey Anderson (whose funny new City Pages blog is definitely worth your time), Mike Everleth, E. Yarber, and Lauri Hoff. And just remember: It's all right, it's okay . . . uhh . . .

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 9, 2004 6:40 PM

 

The Frederic Wertham Memorial Cover Gallery

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The Dead Who Walk, 1952 - Classic headlights cover, plus a great word balloon out of Ghoul #2: "She laughed at me! I told her I'd come back and make her pay!"

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 8, 2004 1:58 AM

 

Bad Dialogue of the Week

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Portrait of the Lizard King as a Young Man-- school yearbook photo of Jim Morrison

The found sound this week comes from the beginning of a Doors show circa '67. The concert was given and the recording was made at a California high school, and the introduction is given by its principal. It's a bizarre and jarring contrast to hear one of the first performances of "Moonlight Mile" preceded by an authoritarian command to stay seated during the intermission ("And no smoking!").

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 5, 2004 1:26 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #37

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Since last week's quiz was so difficult, this week's will be just the opposite. Here's the sound clue-- there's only one, and it's possibly the movie's best-remembered scene; if you've seen it even once, you'll recognize it and the lovable character named Bill immediately. If and when you do, send me an email with the film's title, and, if you're correct, you'll see your name in next week's jingoistic winners circle. 

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 2, 2004 9:16 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winner

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Yes, I said "winner"-- singular. Not since "The Skeleton Dance" has the quiz proven so tough for so many of our many movie experts.

I'm a little surprised, since the film is considered one of the very best (and funniest) Hong Kong action films, usually in the top three of most fans' lists. Directed by HK cinema mainstay Tsui Hark, it's the kind of movie that requires little thought but lots of attention, since there's always something important happening in every scene. But it's impossible not to pay attention, especially in the action scenes, which rival Jackie Chan at his most inspired. (Here's a good review of the film by Hal Hinson, which gives a good synopsis of the plot without giving too much away.) And while the DVD is out of print in the U.S. (for now), it's still not that hard to find at a well-stocked video store. Highly recommended by yours truly and every other HK buff.

So let's hear it for E. Yarber, the only person to identify the film from the clues last week (1, 2). This now puts Mr. Yarber in a dead heat with Wayne A. Palmer for quiz champeen. Congratulations, E.!

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 2, 2004 8:40 PM

 

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