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I saw Brian Wilson SMILE last night

Filed under: Imported

Actually, it was Thursday, the first night of the U.S. tour that Brian�s doing this fall, after performing all year in Europe. Anyway, I was there, and I saw the show I�d dreamed of almost all my life, but . . . I don�t want to talk about it.

A bad position for a blogger to be in, but I can�t help it. The new recording is even harder for me to talk about, because while the show was a one-time event, I keep listening to the recording, and the more I do, the heavier it gets for me. Not just the music, although I doubt I�m ever going to come up with the words to express how great it really is or how much it means to me. But just as the existence of this single work has evoked painful memories over the years for the guy who made it, Brian and his music have been such a big part of my life � sometimes too big, the way fans sometimes get�that I can�t help bring all kinds of other things about myself into every listening session, and when you�re 50, that can be a lot of stuff to include.

I will say this about the concert: to see Brian, who for years could barely get through a single song without fucking it up, hold center stage for almost three hours with confidence and genuine joy was so amazing that I wondered if it really wasn't a dream. And after giving a re-listen to a recording from one of the London shows last February, there�s no doubt that he�s improved substantially in just this past year. And it�s not because his band does all the heavy lifting, although their devotion to him and the work shines through and can�t help but make him feel safe. Maybe it�s because after countless standing ovations over the past few years, Brian actually feels that he�s good again. That he is.

There�s so much more to say about the concert, the recordings new and old, and-- for better or worse�myself, and every time I give another listen, I think of even more. I wonder if I�ll get to the bottom of it all (�How deep is the ocean?� BW asked in my all-time favorite of his songs, �Til I Die�). I plan on trying as the days go on. But for now, I don�t want to talk about it.

Who needs me, though? Fortunately, the internet is bursting right now with wonderful reviews and reactions, and from some of the very Brian-friendly writers that I read 30 or more years ago. For starters, Paul Williams, founder of Crawdaddy and long-time BW chronicler, has a piece here (scroll down), Tom Smucker, who wrote CREEM�s great two-part piece on the Beach Boys in the early �70s (complete with quiz, including Q: Who is the Jewish Beach Boy? With A: You must be kidding!), has a Village Voice review, and even Robert Christgau gives it five stars in Rolling Stone.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 2, 2004 6:30 PM

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