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Countdown to Doomsday-- a nostalgia buff's guide for avoiding election coverage

Filed under: Imported

No matter who wins tonight (or whenever-- Clarence Thomas, earn your money!), we're all gonna lose. Four more years of war, the constant threat of nebulous terrorism, and health care for none. What's to celebrate?

So here's a brief list of old-time entertainments for my fellow elderly (e.g., Beatles fans of all ages) to take their minds off the real-life horrors to come.

1) Lum and Abner, the election story. It's the women versus the menfolk in this old radio serial, set in pre-Clinton Arkansas. Fed up with "wimmen's work" (which includes choppin' wood, plowin' fields, and gettin' her man's dinner ready on time), the ladies trounce the gentlemen in a general election that results in nearly a thousand votes over the town's population of 300.

2) 12 Angry Men, starring Henry Fonda. It's the only example I can think of where movies, theater and TV came together and all three won. A portent of sweaty life-or-death voting scenarios to come, with Lee J. Cobb as William Bennett, Ed Begley Sr. as Condeleeza Rice, and Henry Fonda as Jesus Kerry.

3) Leave It to Beaver-- Wally Gets Out the Vote. Ward leans on his oldest son to press the flesh with a vengeance in a school election, to the point where the poor devil introduces himself to people he already knows. Needless to say, he loses in a landslide. Ward apologizes for not letting Wally be Wally.

4) Smile by Brian Wilson. As I said, it's going to be bad news no matter what. So take an hour off and listen to the best "get-out-of-yourself" music that's been made in ages. Reality in all its horribleness will be here when you get back, but maybe it won't seem so hopeless after hearing the happiest, most creative music by last century's greatest musical genius. Which remind me:

5) The Beatles "White Album"-- Dr. Ebbetts' mono UK CD. George Martin said that if you haven't heard the mono mix of Sgt. Pepper's, you haven't heard it at all. (The mono mix took George and the boys six weeks, while the stereo took two days.) One channel is almost always the best way to listen to Beatles, and this bootleg is worth cruising BitTorrent and the newgroups. Even Ringo's fiddle song sounds better.

Posted by Steve Monaco at November 2, 2004 6:26 AM

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