I'm not sure it tops the past April Fools month of 200-plus comedies as TCM's Best Month Ever, but the wealth of rareties found in their May selections makes it a close call, at least for fans of Orson Welles, Luis Bunuel and Sergio Leone.

Monday the 2nd is Rory Calhoun night, which cumulates with an uncut, letterboxed screening of The Colossus of Rhodes, Leone's first picture and probably the best sword-and-sandal epic ever made. It's never been available on videotape in the U.S., and the bootlegs, while not awful, just didn't cut it. This is great news.

(Speaking of Rory, I remember seeing The Texan and his latest wife-- number 9?-- on one of those newlywed game shows, and when the host asked for the most unusual place the couple had "made love," old Rory smirked and said, "On a barstool.")

Rory Calhoun doll, 1961, apparently complete with barstool

Thursday the 5th, from 7 p.m. to 3 a.m., five prime Bunuel classics will be shown in a row. Most astonishing is the back-to-back airing of The Exterminating Angel and Simon of the Desert. Both of these films have only been available on tape in the worst possible prints, when you could find them at all. It's possible they won't look any better on TCM, but I'm hoping for the best.

Best of all, perhaps, are the 20 Orson Welles films they have scheduled for every Wednesday. First up will be the big four: Citizen Kane, The Magnificent Ambersons, Lady from Shanghai and Touch of Evil. They'll be showing some lesser-known films he acted in after that, along with almost every other picture he directed. (Only Chimes at Midnight is missing.) The standout in the last group will be The Immortal Story, a 60-minute adaptation of an Isak Dinesen story that he did for French TV in 1968, and the only fiction film he ever did in color (at least of those finished in his lifetime). Again, this has existed in the U.S. only as a bootleg, and it will be great to finally see it looking good (again, I hope).

Welles and Jeanne Moreau on the set, 1968

While these seem to me to be the highlights, there's also some Anthony Mann, G.W. Pabst, Lupe Velez and Leon Errol, Cantinflas (and a dozen or so Mexican comedies and dramas), half-a-day of Boris Karloff movies, and more. TCM is the saving grace of cable TV, and it's the only channel I watch with any regularity. It's so good, I can't help wondering how long it's going to be before they take it away.

Put this picture

with this sound clip, and guess the film. Then send me an email by late Sunday night, and, if you're correct, experience the thrill of seeing your name in next week's Movie Quiz winners circle. Good luck.

George Lucas on the set of American Graffiti, from Bo Hopkins' webpage.

Every time I see something about George Lucas-- which, with the impending Star Wars conclusion, is far too often-- I find myself thinking again, How could such a dull, humorless guy have made a movie as funny as American Graffiti? You can�t give the cast too much credit, because apart from this film, they haven�t been very funny, either. But most of them can be funnier than George-- I just cringe every time I see another Lucas story coming my way, for fear that I�ll have to read or hear something he says, and he�s already bored me past the breaking point.

The guy is impossible to avoid, though: within the last few days, there have been "news" about his upcoming Star Wars TV series, his appearance at a fan-con and on the Fox series The O.C., and even a reverential webpage where his followers can post their own tributes.

As for American Graffiti, if you're reading this weblog, you don't need me to tell you anything about this movie. So congrats and a ride home on New Year's Eve with John Milner to the following: Steve Perry, Corey Anderson, Wayne A. Palmer, Eric Yarber, Mark Gisleson, Steven Jay Gellert, Hank Parmer, Joe Rosenberg, and Evan Cook.

We'll stay in the '70s for another week with this quiz, and, like last week's choice, it's another complete original, this time one of the best comedies of the decade (or any other). It's a visual clue, a bit on the dark side, but if you know the film at all, the quality of the clip won't matter. If you know the name of the movie it comes from, send me an email by late Sunday night, and if you're correct, you'll get to see your name in next week's winner circle. May the force be with you.

This one was more difficult than I thought it would be; maybe quiz champeen Wayne A. Palmer had a point: "If [director] Tobe Hooper had gone for his original title, Headcheese, this one would have been a lot easier for folks." Anyway, the film was the 1974 classic, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, one of the most original horror movies ever made, and-- a point too easily forgotten-- proof that a scary film can also be funny as hell.

It's also remarkably light on gore, which often surprises people when they watch it a second time. Like the shower scene in Psycho, the tension in the movie is so great that it plays tricks on the memory, making viewers believe they saw much more than they really did. The truth is, however, it was such a low-budget picture that there simply wasn't the money for the kind of special effects that (usually) ruins horror flicks today (such as the loathsome remake of this one).

Instead, the movie got most of its scares from the ghouls who populate the cast: Jim Siedow as The Cook (and who has, for me, the best line in the film-- "Look what your brother did to the door!"), horror-con regular Gunnar Hansen as Leatherface, and, best of all, Edwin Neal as The Hitchhiker and headcheese fan. Also a standout in the cast of unknowns was Paul A. Partain as the wheelchair-bound, raspberry-dispensing Franklin. And while Tobe Hooper went on to bigger (but not better) things, writer Kim Henkel doesn't get mentioned enough for his clever, funny dialogue.

Over 30 years after it was released, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre can still get under the skin in a way that bigger, bloodier horror movies just don't. It changed horror movies completely, and not all for the good, but that's the fault of the imitators. The original is, for many of us, damn near perfect. So congratulations and a big Sawyer barbeque to the following handful of winners: Wayne A. Palmer, E. Yarber, Lindsey Thomas, Incoming Signals, Joe Rosenberg, and Hank Parmer. Now . . . wha'd I tell you about hangin' around that graveyard?

I have a brief news piece about Harryhausen and the upcoming Sinbad movie posted at the new City Pages group weblog, Culture to Go, which you can find here. I'll be contributing to it regularly, so visitors to this blog of mine (and hello to both of you) may want to check it once and awhile, too.

Say it ain't so, Wally . . . say it ain't so.

Turner Classic Movies has been giving fans of old comedy films an April Fools' Day treat that will continue all month-- every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, the network will air a total of 228 (!) movies by acts as well-known as The Marx Brothers and Abbott & Costello to more esoteric stars such as Charley Chase and Lum and Abner. Knowing that they should start with the absolute best, however, TCM's April 1st's schedule was made up of 18 feautures and two-reelers by everybody's favorites, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy. It was the greatest excuse to call in sick and stay glued to the tube in ages.

This Stan and Ollie marathon inspired me to dig out a recording of a BBC radio play from last year that most fans in the U.S. have yet to hear: it's called "Stan," and it's as moving a drama as any Son of the Desert could want. Written by Neil Brand and starring Tom Courtenay as the title character, it recreates the last visit Stan Laurel pays to his old partner, who has suffered a major stroke and is not expected to live. If the premise sounds unpleasantly grim, the script and performances (including an almost mute Ollie) make it otherwise. It brims with love for these two cherished figures and actually closes with a genuine laugh that brings tears at the same time.

I wish I could steer you to someplace online to find the program, but the BBC only streams audio for a week and then removes it, so unfortunately, it's now long gone. But I can offer you this excerpt, where Stan reminisces about the tour of England they made after WWII, and the reception they were given. It will at least give you a taste of one of the best radio dramas I've ever heard.

Put this picture

together with this sound clip, and guess the movie they're from. If you know the title, send me an email by late Sunday night, and if you're right, next week you'll see your name in our long, tall winners circle. Good luck.

What we got here is a failure to regurgitate-- the egg-eating scene from Cool Hand Luke.

While last week's quiz movie wasn't in his "H" series (Hud, Hombre, Harper), Cool Hand Luke is still in the top group of Paul Newman's most memorable characters, and from the period when he could do little wrong. (It was released in 1967, right after Hombre.) Funny and grim at the same time, the film features one of his best performances as a poor devil who gets sent to a Southern prison for vandalizing parking meters and refuses to let the place break him.

The film also had an ensemble cast second to none. While everyone remembers George Kennedy and the immortal Strother Martin, whose nasal drawl gave the film's most memorable line about communication its resonance, Newman's chain-gang buddies also included Dennis Hopper, Harry Dean Stanton, Wayne Rogers, Anthony Zerbe and Joe Don Baker, just to name a handful. Maybe best of all was Morgan Woodward as the silent, menacing Boss Godfrey, a character (and actor) who was scary even when he didn't move.

Newman made the news recently when he announced that he was retiring. (Then again, maybe he's not.) As hard as it is to believe that he's now 80, it's still going to be a sad day for movie fans if and when he finally does. Good as Cool Hand Luke is-- and it hardly looks its age, either-- it's only one of many of his films that pass the test of time. It's hard to think of any movie star who's made as many first-rate movies as he has over so long a time-period. Every now and then, an artist comes along whose work pleases almost everybody, and Paul Newman is definitely one.

So congratulations and 50 hard-boiled eggs to last week's quiz winners: Wayne A. Palmer, Corey Anderson, Steve Perry, Evan Cook, E. Yarber (welcome back!), Hank Parmer and Grandpa Joe Rosenberg. Thanks to all for playing, as always.