July 2005

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The Monday Movie Quiz #68

Filed under: Imported

Another early posting due to an out-of-town trip, but the rules are the same: send me an email by late Sunday night if you recognize this movie. And if the music isn't enough (it should be-- it's only one of the greatest musical openings a movie ever had), this should cinch it for everybody. (It's also become my own personal prayer.) If you're right, expect to see your name in next week's blood-soaked winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 24, 2005 5:19 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

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As the years stomp by (and all over us), there are still milestones that make me see all over again how fast it's going, and realizing last week that 1) Robert Altman just had his 70th birthday, and 2) his film M*A*S*H turns 35 this year, was one of them. It brings me down for a couple of reasons, one of which is the thought that, at one time, it was possible for a director like Altman to trick a major studio into making and releasing such a subversive picture. Those were the naive days of movies, and most of us would give anything to have them back.

Despite the studio's insistence that a superimposed title be used at the beginning that tied the story to the Korean war, Altman (aided by an ad campaign that featured the very counter-culture poster seen above) was able to get his message about the ongoing war in Viet Nam across virtually unhindered. The good guys were hippies and the bad guys were murderous, self-righteous Army clowns. And everybody, then and now, had a good time laughing with the former at the latter. Seems like no big deal today, but only because this movie changed things as much as it did. (After all, it was only two years earlier that John Wayne made The Green Berets.)

Fifteen actors were "introduced" in the opening credits, acknowledging their "first film" status, and they included Gary Burghoff, Carl Gottlieb and Fred Williamson, who's surprisingly good as Spearchucker Jones. (I say surprisingly in case you've seen any of Fred's later blaxplotation work, where his acting chops apparently eroded.) Even the people who were already movie pros, like Sutherland and Sally Kellerman, were unknowns (although I remembered at the time, with a shock, seeing Donald as the brutish handyman from the Hammer film Die, Die My Darling with Tallulah Bankhead). While a little of the freshness of Altman's ensemble style is gone now (only because he and others got so much more subtle with it later), the naturalness of the acting and dialogue is still the most striking thing about the film all these years later.

So congrats to the people who knew it from the "football" audio clip last week, and-- credit where it's due-- congrats to me for using the one scene that might actually fool people (it did): Wayne Palmer, E. Yarber, Tammy Riggins, Hank Parmer, Mark Gisleson and Corey Anderson. All our winners will receive a front-row ticket to the next shower taken by Hotlips Houlihan (although, considering that Sally just turned 69, you might not want to use it).

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 24, 2005 2:14 PM

 

Greil Monaco's No-Life Top 10 List-- The all-stupidest edition

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This blog has been nothing but a once-a-week movie quiz for a couple of months now, so I thought I'd break up the tedium with some stupid stuff I've never been able to clean out of my brain. As always, grovelling apologies to Mr. Marcus for sullying, if not stealing, his countdown thunder.

1) Rex Reed's origin story. On his '60s late-night ABC show, Dick Cavett asked Rex Reed why he became a critic. Reed's answer: "Well, I was opinionated right out of the wound." (P.S. I still think Reed had the finest description of Bush's expression in the book-reading moment from Fahrenheit 9/11: " . . . eyes sliding nervously in his head, like a moron looking for a bathroom."

2) Good lines from Dark Shadows. I remember these because I'm watching the stupid things again, the DVDs this time, and I'm in a good patch of episodes right now. A doctor, looking into his microscope, smiles and says, "Some of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen have been microscopic views of horrible malignancies." The ever-trustworthy Joe Haskell (played by soap star Joel Crothers) warns his ex-girlfriend about her new biker squeeze: "That guy's as much fun as a bag of spiders."

3) I discuss the work of John Steinbeck with an old nut. Years ago, when I had a really bad doctor whose idea of heaven was a waiting room packed with the sick and dying, I wound up sitting next to an agitated senior citizen who seemed to recognize the book I was reading, The Grapes of Wrath. "Steinbeck!" he said, "Brilliant man!" He leaned closer and asked, "Is that the book that has his theory of relativity?" I told him, no, this was a later work, and involved his theory of inbred relativity.

4) I overhear one of the stupidest reasons ever given for being unemployed. Decades ago, when convenience stores were just beginning to burgeon, I stood in line behind a beefy beer-buying oaf who was wrapping up the story of his life for the cashier: " . . . foreman got smart with me, so I smacked him. Now I'm out of a job. Must've been that rotten booze I was drinkin'."

5) One of the world's worst radio hosts gets pranked. For one summer in the late '80s, Des Moines' longtime R&R station went talk in the evening, but they hired a guy who couldn't get calls from a telemarketer. His first name was Jim, and one night deep into his routine begathon for callers, someone-- I suspect a co-worker-- phoned in with some early soundboards of DeForest Kelley, aka Dr. "Bones" McCoy. The exchange went like this:

JIM the inept radio host: Hello, caller, you're on the air.

The unreal McCOY: Happy birthday, Jim!

JIM: (snortin' laffin') Well, thank you! It's not my birthday, though.

McC: Damn it, Jim, you're hiding something.

JIM: (Still nasally amused) No, I'm not-- it's just not my birthday.

McC: It's all your damned rules and regulations, Jim!

JIM: Huh? What rules?

McC: He's dead, Jim!

JIM: What? Dead? What is this?

Then there was an explosion of laughter on the McCoy side, and, a second or two later, Jim's revisionist recap of the incident ("I knew what they were doing . . . "). Maybe you had to be there, but it was the greatest deflation of an asshole radio clown I've ever heard. If you have a similar story, please send it in-- I'd love to read it.

What kind of top-10 list stops at 5? An all-stupidest one!

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 20, 2005 5:00 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #67

Filed under: Imported

Here's a quiz everybody can win.

After listening to the clue, send me an email by late Sunday night with the movie's title. If you're right-- and you will be-- expect to see your name in next week's winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 18, 2005 3:04 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Filed under: Imported

Last week's quiz stumped everybody except the three wise men-- Palmer, Parmer, and Yarber-- and I was told by other quiz regulars that it was hellishly tough. I didn't think it was at the time, but Roger Corman fan that I am, perhaps I overestimated the number of readers who were familiar with his 1963 science-fiction film, X-- The Man with X-Ray Eyes.

All of our quiz winners had a fond recollection of the movie. Mr. Yarber noted how this and other American-International Pictures stuff of the time gave older actors like X's star, Ray Milland, a chance to shine in good parts for a new generation. (Mr. Y also reminded me of Corman's commentary on the DVD, where he quoted Milland saying he put this picture with what he considered his other "best" movie, The Lost Weekend.) Mr. Parmer and Mr. Palmer both recalled the film's final moment-- "If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out!"-- with Hank also mourning the loss of the original ending, "where Dr. Xavier tears out his eyes but can still see."

For me, X-- The Man with X-Ray Eyes is a perfect example of Corman's master blend of commercialism and art, and I mean that as a compliment. His pop-culture savvy made the movies appeal to their intended audience of the time (mainly kids and teenagers, like me), but the quality and originality of the productions keep them interesting to me as an adult today. While it's not in the league of his best Poe films, X is definitely grade-A Corman.

So, as always, congratulations to the three unstumpables, Wayne Palmer, E. Yarber, and Hank Parmer. What would this quiz be without them?

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 18, 2005 2:49 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #66

Filed under: Imported

It's another one of those audio quizzes that's a breeze if you know it, nearly impossible if you don't. But it does feature one, if not two, very well-known and distinct voices, which should at least help in a search at imdb.com.

So if you know the title of this movie, or can figure it out, send me an email by late Sunday night. If you're correct, expect to see your name in next week's radiation-soaked winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 12, 2005 12:07 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Filed under: Imported

The time has come to out myself: I am not a Hitchcock fan. While other cinematic heresies of mine have been tolerated by visitors to this site-- my dislike of Casablanca, for example-- once you tell a fellow film buff that you don't care much for the work of Hitchcock, usually you're never forgiven for your lapse in taste.

I don't understand the devotion. Stanley Kubrick disliked most of Alfred's '50s and '60s work ("All that rear-screen projection"), and as his career went on, it gets harder for even fervent supporters to defend the movies he made (with the exception of Frenzy, which is a great film). Even in the good stuff, like The Birds (Evan Hunter, R.I.P.), the stogy dialogue scenes always slow things down so much that-- for me-- they spoil every one of his American movies.

Last week's quiz movie, Rear Window, has dialogue/love scenes between James Stewart and Grace Kelly that are perfect examples of this Hitchockian chloroform, and the film itself could have been at least a half-hour shorter. When Rear Window finally kicks in, though, it's as enjoyable a movie as the director ever made in the U.S. Not the greatest cast, but a good one-- Kelly can't act, and Stewart wasn't as good a lead as Cary Grant, but then again, it's difficult to imagine Grant snivelling for help the way Stewart does, convincingly, in the end. (Outing #2: I don't like James Stewart.) The supporting cast is where the shining occurs, especially Thelma Ritter and Raymond Burr.

The clue must have been a tough one, because only the die-hard quizmasters were able to get it. Extra-special congrats and a gardening date with Raymond Burr to: Wayne Palmer, Tammy Riggins, E. Yarber, and Hank Parmer.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 11, 2005 6:51 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #65

Filed under: Imported

Last week I was a day early, so I thought I'd take the Fourth off like the rest of you. But here now is an already-easy quiz that will now be even easier, since it was just on TV. Put this picture

together with this sound clip, and guess the movie. If you know the title, send me an email by late Sunday night, and if you're correct, expect to see your name in next week's w-w-winner's circle. (Hint: the star t-t-talks like that.) Good luck.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 5, 2005 2:13 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Filed under: Imported

Tough guy caper movies don't get much better than last week's movie in question, Kansas City Confidential (1952), directed by Phil "Walking Tall" Karlson and starring John Payne. His co-star is the always reliable Preston Foster-- who can forget his great line from Doctor X, "Synthetic flesh!" Here, he begins the film like the villian in a Republic serial, wearing a hood and talking like Unga Khan himself. In one of the neat twists of the story, though, he's really a discredited cop trying to set up a robbery that he can then bust and regain his job. Payne plays the poor schnook who gets framed for the caper, and who then infiltrates the gang so he can get his job back (driving a florist's truck!).

Good as Foster and Payne are, the real treat of the movie is the trio of henchmen Foster picks for the job. Has there ever been a greater band of plug-uglies than Neville Brand, Jack Elam and the almighty Lee Van Cleef? Ol' Lee actually looks quite sporty in his Sinatra hats and bow ties, and his rodential leer has never been more nakedly on display. As for the other two, it's a toss-up who's worse-looking, the bug-eyed and sweaty Elam, or the even sweatier Brand, who seems to practically ooze murder. (He was decorated in WWII for having the third highest number of kills.)

Kansas City Confidential is on my short list of B-noirs that I recommend to everybody, no matter what their age or taste, knowing they'll be pleased. (If you're curious, the others are Thieves' Highway and Armored Car Robbery.) It's on a few DVDs of various quality and price-- here's a good webpage that compares them. If you've never seen it and have a fondness for tough talk and great bad guys, at least pick up a cheap copy the next time you go to Best Buy. You won't be sorry.

So congratulations to the following quiz winners who know their noir: Tammy Riggins, Wayne Palmer, Hank Parmer, E. Yarber, and Kevin Musolino.

Posted by Steve Monaco at July 4, 2005 11:08 PM

 

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