January 2006

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My movie year (so far)

Another installment of "What I watched in 2006." I liked 'em all this time!

1) Factotum (2005), starring Matt Dillon and directed by Bent Hamer. This is based on the novel by Charles Bukowski and was filmed in Minneapolis. I wrote a little something about it yesterday for City Pages' group blog, Culture To Go, and you can read it here.

2) Grizzly Man (2005), directed by Werner Herzog. I'm a Herzog admirer from way back, but I confess I've seen practically nothing he's made in the last ten years. My fault, not his, and this film is enough to now make me want to watch everything else he's done. So much has been written about this documentary about the guy who lived with bears for 13 years (before one ate him) that I have little to add, except that, somehow, Herzog made me care about a guy I couldn't stand. Imagine Kato Kaelin frolicking with wild bears, and you have the title character, Timothy Treadwell. Herzog gives plenty of screentime to disapproving voices, like the park helicopter pilot who knew the grizzly man: "I think he was mentally retarded or somethin'. He treated these bears like they were people in bear suits. He got what he deserved, in my opinion." Great movie. (Roger Ebert wrote one of his best reviews about this film-- read it here.

3) The Man with Nine Lives (1940), starring Boris Karloff. Watching Boris in prime Mad Doctor mode, pouring frothing liquids from one beaker into another, I realized that everything I know about science I learned from these movies. This one's a splendid joker-show, with Karloff presiding over a frozen vault, where he kills people and then brings them back to life, so he can kill them. It was stuff like this as much as Frankenstein that made me a fan, and this was a blast to watch.

4) The Story of Menstruation (1946), produced by Walt Disney Pictures. This is how the public schools taught Grandma the rules of the rag. It's Disney animation at its blandest, which means that it's still beautifully-done. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and predict that it may be the most lovable film anyone will ever do on its subject.

Aww . . . it's Baby's first period!

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 30, 2006 11:26 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #92

Put this picture

with this sound clip. Figure it out? Then send me an email by late Sunday night with the title of the film they come from. If you're right, expect to see your name in next week's unfamiliar winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 30, 2006 2:46 AM

 

"If you don't stop that crinkling . . . "

I'm not a regular Slate reader, but Bryan Curtis has a don't-miss piece on going to art houses in NYC. Titled "Cinema Purgatorio," it details the changes that have occured in the behavior of patrons of international cinema, and they're not good.

"The Crinkler is a mythic art-house figure-- perhaps you've heard of him. Or, rather, perhaps you've heard him. As the lights go down, he is the guy three rows back who crinkles plastic wrap, restlessly and maniacally, for the entire length of a picture. I have had the displeasure of watching two films that he crinkled through: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre at Film Forum, and then, a few months later, White Heat, the film noir, at the Museum of the Moving Image in Queens. The ethical dilemma presented by the Crinkler is that crinkling doesn't have an obvious rejoinder. At Film Forum, a man seated behind me screamed, 'If you don't stop that crinkling . . . ' and then trailed off, as if his brain were unable to fully process the problem."

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 30, 2006 1:25 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Talk about type-casting-- Jeff and Steve Carlson, of Virginia, Minnesota, have a movie career that spans three decades, with a total of two films to their credit: Slap Shot (1977), where they play two of the three murderous, brain-damaged hockey players, The Hanson Brothers, and Slap Shot 2, a so-called sequel that came out 25 years later. (The other brother in both films, whose name is actually David Hanson, has several BBC TV appearances in between hockey movies.) The scene where team captain Paul Newman tells them to "Show me what you've got" is unlike any moment in sports cinema (they go on an unexpected bone-breaking rampage), and is one reason it's one of my few favorite sports movies, as is the moment Newman finds them in their room having a Hot Wheels orgy. "They brought their fuckin' toys with 'em!"

The last comment is another reason I still like Slap Shot, and why it was such a surprise when it came out-- this was a foul-mouthed Paul Newman like we'd never seen before. In interviews, he admitted that the character of broke-down hockey lifer Reggie Dunlap was closer to his real personality than any role he'd ever played. (It must be the part of Newman that inspired him to once have dozens of rolls of toilet paper made with a picture of Robert Redford's face on every sheet.) He has a great time with both the hockey scenes (which are fun even for non-fans, especially once the Hansons come in) and the dialogue, which had him saying things like, "That kid of yours looks like a fag to me-- mark my words, he'll have a cock in his mouth quicker'n you can say Jack Robinson."

(Odd yet telling memory of yours truly: When I first saw this in the theater, during the scene where Newman repeatedly tries and fails to catch a nap, at one point when he hops out of bed in his boxer shorts, my companion said, "Oh, no! Paul's got shiny old man legs!" As it turns out, Newman was 52 when he made Slap Shot, the age I'll turn next month.)

The movie's not perfect, but the high points are many. The script gets points for having more to its story than a losing team, and the subplot about the team being sold because its town is losing its industry gave the laughs some sting. The director, George Roy Hill, was at the top of his career, and the cast was, overall, terrific. True, the second male lead is the ultra-vanilla Michael Ontkean (he does a strip on ice at the end-- how'd he gets his pants over his skates?), but it also has the great Strother Martin as the sleazy team owner. The female lead is Lindsay Crouse, and David Mamet claims that he became "smitten" with her when he saw the movie, and he didn't rest until he married her.

Still, what most people seem to remember are The Hansons, and it's true, film debuts like theirs don't occur every day. Or faces. Thank goodness.

(Pic is from an article about the boys and the sequel-- read it here.)

So congratulations to the following quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, Leab, E. Yarber, Ryan Backman, Rick Cummings, Jon McDowell, Joe Rosenberg, Vincent Tuss, Bill Hearne, Corey Anderson, Nick Caster, Kevin Musolino, and Hank Parmer.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 30, 2006 12:28 AM

 

Th-th-that's ideology, folks!

I'm learning that lots of people no longer hear anything Bush says, and that's too bad, because they're missing out on some funny stuff. As his decline accelerates, so do the verbal fuck-ups.

Here's one from Monday, from a speech to a group of schoolkids. Listen, then consider: this is how he sounds on a good day.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 24, 2006 3:37 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Not since Larry David's feature film Sour Grapes have so many quiz winners made a point of mentioning their dislike for the movie in question, in this case Family Business (1989), directed by Sidney Lumet. The ultimate throw-down was from regular winner and master Googler Mark Gisleson: "I remember that it really, really sucked." That's funny-- I remember it being an enjoyable double star-turn for its two leads, Sean Connery and Dustin Hoffman. And since this is my blog, my memories win.

Connery and Hoffman are father and son (their total lack of mutual resemblance is blamed on an Italian mother), brought together for a heist by Hoffman's son, who wants to be a crook like Granddad. (The kid is played by Matthew Broderick, and he's completely out of his league.) The two stars work well together, and I'm not sure that the animosity between them was all acting. Connery seems to genuinely enjoy irking Hoffman in some scenes. My favorite is when he sits on Hoffman's lap, croons "It's Almost Like Being in Love," and then reaches into Hoffman's jacket and cops a feel.

I've always liked Lumet's crime-oriented films, maybe because they always concentrate on the private lives of the crooks. I'm also a fan of Vincent Patrick, the screenwriter and author of the original novel, and whose first book, The Pope of Greenwich Village, is an under-appreciated crime gem. (The movie with Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke is, too.) Major drawback: Cy Coleman's rancid big-band soundtrack.

For a movie nobody else much likes, Family Business set a Movie Quiz record for correct replies. So congratulations to this fine group of astute film buffs: Wayne Palmer, Mark "Wege" Gisleson, Doug Duwenhoegger, Ryan Backman, Vincent Tuss, E. Yarber, Bill Hearne, Hank Parmer, Bob McEvoy, Corey Anderson, Marcus Leab, Tim McDonough, Rick Cummings, and Nick Caster. Wow! If the winners circle gets any bigger, I'm going to have to learn how to type!

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 24, 2006 2:01 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #91

My yahoo mailbox is having a seizure and won't open, so I'll announce the names and title of last week's movie later in the day. For now, take this picture:

and add this sound clip. Put them together and see if you can come up with the movie they came from. Then send me an email by late Sunday night, and if you're right, expect to see your name in next week's puckin' winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 23, 2006 3:14 AM

 

My movie year (so far)

This is my second installment of "What I watched in 2006." This time, a good one, a very good one, and two duds.

Crippled Masters (1981 - Hong Kong). Sorry, that's really what it's called. The story of two mutilated warriors joining forces-- one with arms cut off, the other with destroyed legs-- wasn't new to Hong Kong cinema, since the Shaw Brothers had released Crippled Avengers just a few years earlier. What was new in this version was both characters were played by actors who were, shall we say, born to play the roles. If you think that sounds awful, you're right, and so is the movie. The two guys' physical stunts were so impressive that I felt like a heartless bastard bailing out after 45 minutes, but the realization that I was almost 52 and had no more time left to waste on crap like this suddenly got the better of me.

Brats (1930), starring Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy. An early sound two-reeler with L&H doing a two-man show, playing both themselves and their children. Great premise and inventive oversize sets for the kids' scenes, but it's really only B-plus Stan & Ollie-- see, even the greats can get overwhelmed when the special effects get out of hand. Don't get me wrong, though, grade B for these guys would be an A-plus for a comedy today. I love Ollie's very un-PC reaction to one of the kids' outbursts: "If you brats don't be quiet, I'll wring your necks!"

Henry and Dizzy (1942). I saw and liked all the Henry Aldrich movies when I was a kid-- they used to show them between the interminable Dialing for Dollars segments on my local NBC channel. (Does anybody remember those? A guy sitting behind a giant telephone, talking to someone not on mic, so it was basically watching a one-sided phone conversation. And all for a big five bucks!) As entertaining as I still found this story of dorky Henry and his buddy trying to get out of another jam, I couldn't help thinking that these teenagers were from another galaxy compared to the ones I know today. So are the parents-- at one point, Father asks Mother if it would cheer Henry up if "I fooled around with him a little."

Murder by Television (1935), starring Bela Lugosi and Hattie McDaniel. This isn't the worst Lugosi movie of them all, but it's probably in the top 10. Bela is given some dialogue so ridiculous I even wonder if he knew the words he was saying, or if he was just speaking phonetically.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 18, 2006 1:45 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #90

"Hey, Steve, how about a movie that isn't a hundred years old for a change?" Okay, so here's one that isn't even 20-- not a hit, really, but two of the stars are all-time major-leaguers (and very recognizable voices, don't you think?), and the third star is big right now. How's that? Here's an audio clue made from the movie's trailer. If you know the movie, send me an email by late Sunday night. If you're right, you'll find your name in next week's tightly-knit winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 16, 2006 3:23 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

A friend of mine nearly freaked out when we went to see The Tenant, Roman Polanski's follow-up to Chinatown. The end of the film is from the POV of the hero, and by now he's gone completely crazy. The people surrounding him (a cast which included the just-departed Shelly Winters) all look satanic to him, with red glowing eyes and tongues of fire. Later, my friend told me that this scene was very close to what his own hallucinations looked like. Oddly, his distress was a rave review-- Polanski got it exactly right.

Twelve years before that film, Polanski released his most famous exploration of madness, Repulsion (1965), starring Catherine Deneueve. At the time, it was praised by psychiatrists for the same thing that spooked my buddy: his accurate depiction, from the inside out, of insanity. Polanski claimed that he knew nothing about schizophrenia or similar illnesses, and just made up the story and the character. But then, he doesn't care for it much at all, claiming, "I always considered Repulsion the shabbiest of my films."

Catherine Deneueve has rarely looked as beautiful as she does as the main character, Carol, and she certainly never looked as vacant. As Carol stays in her apartment alone and the walls literally reach out for her as she descends into madness, it's her wide-yet-dead-eyed performance that makes the nightmare work. Her blinking and sudden nose-rubbing as she walks along get it across long befoe she takes up the straight-razor: this girl is really not right.

Repulsion is over forty years old now, and the city scenes do look dated, time-capsule shots of '60s England. (Carol's would-be beau looks like he stepped out of The Dave Clark Five.) Inside the apartment, though, the place is as unreal as the jungles of Skull Island. Besides the splitting walls and rotting rabbits (she imagines one and caused the other) are her fantasies of sexual assault, past and present. Those scenes are as free from time as Carol's mind.

There's a good DVD of Repulsion out, but it's British and only available in a Polanski boxed set. Quiz champ Wayne Palmer has seen it and enjoyed the dual commentary tracks with Polanski and Deneueve, although wishes they'd been recorded together. (Wayne also mentioned that Polanski originally wanted to cast Carol Lynley in the lead role.) The U.S. DVD isn't supposed to be good, and I know that the old VHS tape is only so-so. Once again, where is Criterion?

This was, bar none, the most interesting bunch of responses the quiz has had, with more wrong answers than right ones. The most common guess was The Fearless Vampire Hunters-- people recognized Polanski but thought Deneueve was Sharon Tate. (It made me realize how much they did look alike. And like Carol Lynley!) So congratulations to those who got it: Wayne Palmer, Jen McCabe, E. Yarber, Corey Anderson, and Hank Parmer. Good to hear from everybody else, too, especially Tim McDonough, whose wild guess The Vendors is now at the top of my list of movies to track down.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 16, 2006 1:17 AM

 

Bob Hope, sucking beyond the grave

I think Bob Hope is haunting my internet browsing. Today, he came up three times in just a few hours.

First, I was wasting time at the new Google video site, when a familiar but unwelcome face appeared in the middle of all the nobodies: Bob "Nosferatu" Hope, in a clip from The Ghost Breakers.

A little later, I was reading some things from the Guardian, including an extract from Kurt vonnegut's new memoir. Toward the end, discussing laughter often being inspired by fear, I found this: "There is a superficial sort of laughter. Bob Hope, for example, was not really a humourist. He was a comedian with very thin stuff, never mentioning anything troubling." (He compares the Ski-Nose to a couple of real comedians: "I used to laugh my head off at Laurel and Hardy. There is terrible tragedy there somehow. These men are too sweet to survive in this world and are in terrible danger all the time. They could be so easily killed."

Finally, I stumbled upon this: Bob Hope as G.I. Joe. I'm gonna go be really scared now . . .

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 13, 2006 6:29 PM

 

Les Paul and Mary Ford got dem Rinso Blues

For the longest time I didn't even know who they were, really, and I thought the guitarist-mastermind of the duo was Paul Ford, from It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Needless to say, I couldn't have cared less about music he made. Later, I stood happily corrected.

Here's a Paul & Ford oddity: a 1955 radio commercial for Rinso Blue detergent. (It aired during The Lux Radio Theater's version of George Pal's "War of the Worlds.")

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 12, 2006 3:03 AM

 

My movie year (so far)

I can't understand why I don't get around to watching more movies. People like movie quiz champeen Wayne Palmer put me to shame, they see so much, and with so much variety in their choices. So far this year, though, I'm still not covering a lot of ground. Here's what I've seen so far.

International House (1933), starring W.C. Fields and Bela Lugosi (and many others), directed by Edward Sutherland. A great old movie to watch on New Year's Day-- an antiquated look into a screwy version of the future that still isn't that far off from where we are now. (The central plot is about an insane bidding war taking place in China over an unbelievable invention: television.) Fields is always pushing it, saying stuff that couldn't be said back then (as innocent as most of it seems today). When he and his female companion get into a car that has kittens under the seats, she says, "I'm sitting on something," to which Fields replies, "I lost mine in the stock market." She: "I tell you I'm sitting on something. Something's under me. What is it?" WC: (Lifting out a kitten) "Ah, a pussy!"

Out of the Past (1947). Scroll down to yesterday's post about last week's quiz winners. One thing I left out was to note a line from Time's original review regarding Mitchum's performance: "Bing Crosby supersaturated with barbiturates."

Kid Vengeance (1977), starring the almighty Lee Van Cleef, with Jim Brown and Leif Garrett. It's typical Spaghetti Western revenge stuff, and the cast isn't good from Brown on down, but ol' Lee is so mean in this that it's almost worth the watch. Picture a cobra wearing a headband, giving Leif Garrett's mom a raping. That's Lee in this movie.

Messalina vs. the Son of Hercules (1964). Except for the guy playing Caligula (and even the imdb doesn't know who he is!), everybody in it sucks, and so does the action and the story. But nothing sucks more than the movie's theme, a horribly out of place, Folksmen-like rouser straight from a hootenanny.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 10, 2006 1:56 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #89

A picture clue of a different sort: it's not from the film itself, but is a still taken on the set. Whether you can figure out what film it is depends on not only recognizing the woman in front of the camera, but the guy behind it. Put them together and you'll have the movie, the only one they made together.

If you know the title, send me an email by late Sunday night. If you're right, plan on seeing your name in next week's winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 9, 2006 3:45 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Howard Hawks once told Robert Mitchum (paraphrasing-- don't have the Bogdanovich book with me), "You pretend to be this easygoing guy who doesn't care about anything, but you're really one of the most prepared, hardest-working actors I've known." To which Mitchum replied, "Yeah, well, don't tell anybody."

It's widely agreed that he was perfect in Out of the Past (1947), last week's quiz movie and one of Time's All-Time 100 movies. So was the ultra-lovely Jane Greer (seen in last week's picture clue), who was Howard Hughes' girlfriend. Together, they are inarguably one of the movies' best-looking-- and best-photographed-- couples.

Out of the Past is the quintessential flashback noir, with enough double-crossings for two or three regular films of its kind. Mitchum and Greer two-time her boyfriend, rich crook Kirk Douglas, who takes his time-- ten years-- to get his revenge. (It's only Douglas' second film role, and he's already Kirk Douglas, something Michael still wants to be.) After you've seen it enough to understand everything that's going on, it's remarkable how deep and complex the plot really is and how much the filmmakers managed to get into 97 minutes.

But then, it was made by people who knew what they were doing. Jacques Tourneur was also the director of The Cat People, another moody, b&w classic. The depth of the script, as well as the dialogue's sharp edge, was provided by Daniel Mainwaring, who adapted his own novel (and later wrote the screenplay for the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers) and James M. Cain.

The DVD looks great, and is another demonstration disc for furthering the case of the beauty of black-and-white. I didn't care for the commentary track by noir historian James Ursini, but quiz champeen Wayne Palmer thought it was excellent.

Speaking of whom, congratulations and a highly-built gallows to Wayne and the other winners of last week's quiz: Bill Hearne, E. Yarber, Hank Parmer, Tild, Peter Scholtes, and Ross Noren.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 9, 2006 12:50 AM

 

Touched by a Beatle

Like everyone else over 50 this post-Xmas season, I'm reading Bob Spitz's Beatles bio. Give the tome its due-- no matter how much you know about them, there's enough detail beyond your own mop-top knowledge to make it worth your time. Like this:

"At the outset of Beatlemania, handicapped or deformed children were wheeled into the theaters and placed along the front of the stage, before each performance as a goodwill gesture. 'We were only trying to play rock 'n' roll and they'd be wheeling them in, not just in wheelchairs but sometimes in oxygen tents,' recalled George. 'We'd come out of the bandroom to go to the stage and we'd be fighting our way through all these poor unfortunate people.' To make matters worse, they were the only part of the audience the Beatles could see from the stage, and the distraction was unimaginable. John would gaze down at a child whose drool hung in a solid string from mouth to lap, and he'd pfumpf a line. Spastics trying to clap would accidentally smack thesemlves in the face. Epileptics would have seizures in the middle of songs. 'You felt like you were at the shrine at Lourdes,' says [lawyer] Nat Weiss. 'Crippled peoople were constantly being brought backstage to be touched by a Beatle,' remembered Ringo. Parents would traipse into the dressing room with terribly deformed children who had no idea where they were or who they were looking at, and then the parents would leave.

"Fed up with the continued imposition, John took to doing 'spastic impersonations' while onstage. According to Paul, 'he had a habit of putting a clear plastic bag on his foot with a couple of rubber bands' and stumbling around in a circle.'"

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 7, 2006 2:56 AM

 

"100,000 overweight women wanted!"

Images from a 1955 issue of Adventures Into the Unknown.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 4, 2006 1:54 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #88

First, Happy New Year, especially to all the quiz regulars-- in just a couple of months, this blog and quiz will begin its third year. And since it all started as primarily a movie page, with emphasis on older films, I thought we'd go back this week and try a genuine classic.

So . . . put this picture

with this sound clip, and see if you know the movie.

Hints: 1) The director also made two classic horror movies (one in the '40s, one in the '50s), and 2) it was remade in the '80s, and two actors from the original movie had roles in the remake.

That should be enough, although it seems to me to be a pretty tough quiz even with the hints. So if you know the name of the movie, send me an email by late Sunday night, and if you're right, prepare to see your name in next week's nostalgic winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 2, 2006 5:05 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Longtime quiz winner Hank Parmer said it best: "To hell with werewolves, vampires, possessed machinery and evil clowns-- Kathy Bates is the scariest monster Stephen King ever created." And until King himself scripts a movie about the nutcase who ran him down in an out-of-control van, the character of Annie Wilkes, the most nightmarish fan a writer ever had, will also probably remain his goofiest villian.

Today, King claims not to even recall much about the creation of Misery, since it was written during a period of non-stop intoxication that nearly did him in. (It was written the same year as the interminable mega-novel, The Tommyknockers, which King says he wrote with Q-Tips in his nose to staunch the bloodflow from his chronic coke use.) In a way, his messed-up mental state may be why Annie is as surreal an evildoer as he ever came up with, and the book at its best has a fever-dream quality unique in his work. Today, Misery is one of the few books this long-lapsed King fan finds close to the caliber of his first and best books.

This was Kathy Bates' first big film role, and I recall the loathesome Michael Medved dismissed her Oscar win at the time by sniffing that he couldn't imagine much of a career for "an overweight, unattractive middle-aged" woman. As usual, Medved's opinion was not only bigoted but dead wrong. 15 years and almost four dozen films appearances later (including her stunning and/or staggering nude scene in About Schmidt), I've always wondered if Bates ever got to tell Medved to fuck himself.

While Bates is close to the whole show in Misery, her co-star, James Caan, temporarily reverted to past form and turned in one of his best later performances. While perhaps not the first actor to come to mind for the role of a bestselling romance novelist, Caan is surprisingly low-key and nuanced in the role, or as nuanced as one can get while having his feet broken off at the ankles. (Apparently, Caan is currently going back to his roots, providing the voice for Sonny Corleone in the new Godfather video game.) Throw in a script by William Goldman and unobtrusive direction from Rob "Meathead" Reiner, and it's still as good as any King adaptation made.

So congratulations and a cock-a-doody to the following quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, Mark Gisleson, Corey Anderson, E. Yarber, Bill Hearne, Rick Cummings, Jack Sparks, and Hank Parmer.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 2, 2006 12:49 AM

 

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