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The Adventures of Dog-on-Fire!

Since my Saturday traffic is about 3 or 4 people, all of whom I know personally, I thought we'd continue in the vein of last week's Shadow posting and keep it comics-and-nostalgia related. But this week's entry isn't from the past-- it's a brand new comics script by yours truly. Sorry, but I have no idea why I did it.

PANEL ONE
TITLE: "The Adventures of Dog-on-Fire"
(Picture underneath title of a very miserable-looking, blazing canine.)

PANEL TWO
(A happy-looking dog, ala Tramp from Lady and the ..., trotting down the street.)
CAPTION: Meet Lothario, a happy, horny mutt from the other side of the tracks. He has dozens of girlfriends and hundreds of kids-- life is fuckin' sweet!

PANEL THREE
(A flaming ball falls from the sky and onto Lothario, knocking him flat.)
CAPTION: One night, a meteor falls from space and lands on Lothario, causing him to spontaneously combust!

PANEL FOUR
(Bigger but similar picture like panel one, with the dog in a mock superhero pose.)
CAPTION: The meteor turns him into . . . DOG-ON-FIRE!!
DOG: Yelp! Yipe! Whine!

PANEL FIVE
(A mansion is burning and two men are on the sidewalk in front, watching. In the house, an old man is in a front window, waving his arms.)
CAPTION: Meanwhile, the old Osbourne place has mysteriously caught fire.
OLD MAN: Help! Help!
MAN ON SIDEWALK #1: Old Man Osbourne is trapped in the house! He'll be burned alive!
MAN ON SIDEWALK #2: But the fire's out of control. No one could possibly save him!

PANEL SIX
(Dog-on-Fire runs by and the men point to him.)
MAN #2: Hey, that dog's already on fire! Let's send him in the house!
MAN #1: Go get 'im, boy! Go rescue the old prick!
DOG: Yelp! Yipe! Whine!

PANEL SEVEN
(Dog-on-Fire drags the old man out of the house with a firm jaw-hold around the old man's neck.)
MAN ON SIDEWALK #1: He's doing it! He saved the old man!
DOG: Grrrrr! Yipe! Yowl!
OLD MAN: Aaargghh! My t'roat!

PANEL EIGHT
MAN #1: Let's hear it for Dog-on-Fire! Our hero!
MAN #2: May he rest in peace.
(Close up of Dog-on-Fire, flat on the sidewalk, burned to a cinder.)

THE END

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 18, 2006 1:06 AM

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