March 2006

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My movie year (so far)

My latest attempt to catch up with chronicling what I've seen, featuring a good one and one of the the worst movies I've ever seen.

1) The Python (2003 - Nigeria), directed by Amayo Uzo Philips. Let's start with that worst movie I mentioned. This is one of the African horror movies I mentioned last time, but I had no idea what a horror it would be. It's an African Christian horror movie! Although it begins with a folk story about a giant python that feeds on the village for past sins, most of the running time consists of theological arguments between the village elders and a young Catholic priest, who brings them all to Jesus. When he does, the snake reverts to its human form, and an unattractive woman writhes around on the beach for a minute or two as the snake spirit inside her dies. The End. At least I think this is what happened, because the print I saw had a soundtrack so distorted that even though most of the dialogue was in English, I couldn't understand a word of it.

The snake itself seems to be made from an abandoned fire hose. There are lots of scenes of fleeing villagers, all running down the same road and staggering out of the same grass, intercut with shots of a section of snake being dragged along the ground. All it lacked was a wrestling match with Bela Lugosi (or is that Lagos-i?). But it's nice to know that the U.S. doesn't make the worst movies in the world after all.

2) Accatone (1961 - Italy), directed by Pier Paolo Pasolini. Pasolini's first film, ostensibly the study of a street hustler and his world. But it's really about starvation-- everyone in the film is uncertain about the next meal, and they taunt each other over how hungry they must be. When one of his buddies asks if it's true that he hasn't eaten in two days, Accatone replies, "Yes, but if I vomited on you, you'd eat for a week." Dialogue like that doesn't come from feelgood movies, of course, and this is as bleak a look at life as any movie not set in a prison. But Pasolini had a grim sense of humor, and there are laughs mixed with the poverty-stricken horror. And it has a last line that is a perfect punchline to it all. Recommendation of the week.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 28, 2006 12:34 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #100!!

I've been asked what kind of extra-special quiz I had in mind for this big event, but the truth is, after 100 quizzes, I've used up most of the extra-special movies (for me, at least).

But there is one that's a milestone in my movie-watching life, released a year before I was born, and since it's a classic in its own way, I thought it was the perfect choice.

Now . . . on this s'picious occasion (as Lum & Abner would say), I would dearly love to at least make our three main quiz winners, Mssrs. Palmer, Yarber, and Parmer, think for a minute or two before they got it, so here's what we're going to do: this is the picture clue for those three:

But for everybody else, another picture clue that may help more can be found here.

So . . . know the movie? Then send me an email by late Sunday night. If you're right, expect to see your name in next week's 100th winners circle, and if you're really lucky, you'll win the grand prize.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 27, 2006 2:53 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

The Gold Rush doesn't have the emotional resonance or comedic invention of Charles Chaplin's later work, and that may be exactly why it's a perfect introduction for most people to not only Chaplin's films but silent comedy in general. It moves at a brisk pace, and has little to none of the over-emotiveness and hamminess that many associate with silent movies (and not incorrectly). You never have to wait long for another major comedy set piece (the tilting cabin, the windy cabin, and Charlie the chicken, to name my three faves), and the stuff in between is great, too.

(Chaplin preparing a sequence with guest star Chico Marx.)

For years, I've avoided the re-released version of The Gold Rush, with Chaplin's added narration and music, and it's not the way to see it the first time, but now that I've finally gotten around to watching it, I have to admit that it has its charms, too. Although his first few narrative bits make him sound too much like Walter Winchell on a caffeine jag, and too often the commentary is completely unnecessary, the rest of Chaplin's narration is quite good. It's interesting to hear him give voice to some of The Tramp's funniest moments, and I guess it's the closest to a commentary track from him that we'll ever get.

So congratulations and a boiled shoe to the following quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, Mark Gisleson, Corey Anderson, John Middleton, Kevin Musolino, E. Yarber, Hank Parmer, Bill Hearne, Christina O'Sullivan, Joe Rosenberg, Jen McCabe, Gopal Kidao, Matt Fischbein, and Vince Tuss. And special congratulations to Tim McDonough, who wins this week's big prize: a cig-smoking baby action figure.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 27, 2006 12:46 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Last week's quiz movie was Sam Peckinpah's 1969 classic The Wild Bunch, starring William Holden, Ernest borgnine, Robert Ryan and Warren Oates (among others). While I don't agree with Leonard Maltin that it's Sam's best-- I like Ride the High Country more, another old tough-guy on his last run movie-- I certainly agree with the four-star rating. The perfect blend of old and new Westerns, with traditional movie actors playing the heroes, who are bad guys!

Stuff I like about The Wild Bunch:

-- The opening unexpected shoot-out, best described by young Bo Hopkins: "They're blowin' this town all to Hell!"

-- Robert Ryan describing his cohorts, L.Q. Jones and Scrother Martin, as "egg-suckin', chicken-stealin' gutter-trash." (But then, I'd like any movie that had the great Mr. Ryan in scenes with L.Q. and Strother.)

-- The dragging scene, where Holden and Borgnine's characters realize what pigs the General and his men really are. (By the way, regular quiz winner Hank Parmer steered me to the bio of Emilio Fernandez, the actor who played Gen. Mapache-- he's right, it was a hell of a life.)

Stuff I don't like:

-- The forced hilarity, especially with Ernest Borgnine and Edmond O'Brien, who come across like Old West versions of the Car Guys.

-- The imitative score by Jerry Fielding, which evokes Elmer Bernstein and Ennio Morricone, but not in a good way.

Other than that, great movie.

So congratulations and a bag of silver washers to the sharp-eyed quiz winners who not only recognized William Holden in last week's picture clue, but director Peckinpah as well: Wayne Palmer, Dan Andreasen, E. Yarber, Tim McDonough, Joe Rosenberg, Bill Hearne, and Kevin Musolino. And extra-special kudos to long-time quiz winner Hank Parmer, who wins this week's grand prize, the DVD of the second season of My Favorite Martian. Hey, Hank, maybe this will have the episode that guest-stars the chimp that chewed Ray Walston's face off his skull! (I hear they cut it out of the show, though-- drat!)

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 21, 2006 2:29 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #99

Let's start the new quiz now-- last week's winners will have to sweat it out a little longer before they learn which one of them gets the big prize. There's one clue, and this is it:

In mild defense of the crazed-looking guy in the parka, sometimes he thinks the other guy is a chicken.

If you know the title of the movie the above pic comes from, send me an email by late Sunday night. If you're right, expect to see your name in next week's hurried winners circle, and if you're really lucky, you might even win the grand prize. Good luck.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 20, 2006 12:15 AM

 

"Casablanca" starring . . . Jack Benny??

In trying to be creative for the upcoming movie quiz, I was fishing around for an old radio parody of Casablanca to use for an audio clue. I found a great one, but since it's way too obvious, I thought I'd post it as a weekend nostalgia bonus instead. So here's Jack Benny (with Don Wilson, Eddie Anderson and Mary Livingston) with the only rendition of "As Time Goes By" that I've ever liked. Enjoy.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 19, 2006 3:16 AM

 

My movie year (so far)

Another handful of the films I've seen lately, this time it's two golden oldies and an overlooked near-masterpiece.

1) The Ghost Ship (1943), directed by Mark Robson, produced by Val Lewton. Atmosphere didn't have to cost much when it was created by Val Lewton and his RKO stable of directors (Robson, Jacques Tourneur, and Robert Wise), and this is a foggy, spooky-looking little gem. Like many Lewton fans, this is the one I'd never seen because it was unavailable for decades due to a lawsuit. (Fortunately, it and nine others are in the Val Lewton box set.) St. Paul's own Richard Dix is very good as the creepily-polite sea captain obsessed with "authority," and a very young Lawrence Tierney has a fun minor role where he gets crushed to death by a pile of chains! (P.S. For those who can't get enough of the Lewton ouevre, there is an amazing website which features, among other nice things, the shooting scripts to his films.)

2) Jezebel (1938), starring Henry Fonda and directed by William Wyler. Bette Davis' first major role (and Oscar), and she's great, but what a weird, disjointed movie. The first half is the part the film is known for, about the title character wearing a red dress to the ball and scandalizing the town. (By the way, since the film wasn't in color, the dress was really black.) But the second half becomes a drama about the ravages of yellowjack fever, and the closing shot of Davis, looking holy as she rides off with the diseased, is one of the strangest closing moments of any mainstream film. Since it was a state-of-the-art Warners production, it was written with intelligence (by, among others, John Huston) and filmed with great style, but after I finished it (for, I confess, the first time), I felt somewhat had.

3) Men with Guns (1997), directed by John Sayles. The next time you're at the video store and absolutely nothing looks good, ignore the plot synopsis on the back of the case and get this. It is a great plot-- a Central American doctor who trains med students to work in the jungles learns that they're being killed by the "men with guns" and sets off to find the ones who are left-- but a simple description of it doesn't do justice to the mood and quiet intensity that Sayles and his cast achieve (especially leading man Federico Luppi). There are many moments of tension that take unexpected turns, and the ending is tragic and uplifting at the same time. It's a riveting, fascinating, and deep story, with the kind of rich and varied characters we expect from Sayles at his best. Among his many qualities as a director and writer, Sayles is a entertainer, and it's unusual for a movie this engaging to also make you think so much about other lives and cultures as well as your own. Big enthusiastic recommendation.

Next time, who knows? I have so much stuff waiting to be seen-- African horror movies, some Frederic Wiseman documentaries, even some Czech avant-garde stuff from the '60s-- that I have no idea what to choose next. So stay tuned.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 17, 2006 5:45 PM

 

This can't be true!

A Criterion Equinox?!? Get outta here!

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 16, 2006 2:49 AM

 

"The Abuses of Child Labor"

1916 movie poster

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 14, 2006 2:45 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #98

A picture quiz similar to the one awhile ago for Repulsion-- instead of a still from the film, it's a behind-the-scenes photo from the movie in question with the star and director. The former is very recognizable, the latter only to film buffs.

Know the film they made together? Send me an email with the title by late Sunday night. If you're right, expect to see your name in next week's crazed winners circle, and if you're really lucky, you'll even win the grand prize. Good luck.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 13, 2006 1:36 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

I guess I'm partial to Hitchcock's "trick" films, where the visual gimmick is as important as the story, and one of the slickest is last week's movie in question, Rope (1948). Clocking in at a sweet 80 minutes and filmed in real-time as it follows the sick after-murder party staged by a couple of rich thrill-killers, it may not be a film that rewards repeated viewings, but the first one is a dandy, even for a non-Hitch fan like yours truly.

Based on a play, Hitchcock's solution to the eternal problem of opening up a stage-bound story (in this case, a single apartment set) was to basically wallow in his restrictions and use the camera to follow the action in continuous takes. (Supposedly, he got the inspiration from a 1939 BBC TV production that kept the chest containing the body constantly in view.) As nearly everyone knows, it was shot in long fluid takes, usually around ten minutes, the length of a roll of film, making his splices by focusing on an all-black surface (usually one of the male actor's backs.)

The first of the Leopold & Loeb-based films, it's no surprise that Rope was banned in some American cities because of the obvious gay connection between the two characters played by Farley Granger and John Dall. (In the original play, it was also made clear that the James Stewart character, the killers' former schoolmaster, had an affair with one of them in the past, which is perhaps another reason Hitchcock's first choice for the role was Cary Grant.) What might be a surprise to many Hitch fans in this era of easily available DVDs is that this film, along with four other of his best-known movies of the same period (including Rear Window and Vertigo) weren't shown anywhere for decades due to legal reasons.

So congrats and a strangled chicken to the following quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, Leab Marcus, Jim Kuipers, Hank Parmer, Jim Youngdahl, E. Yarber, Bjorn, Edward Gonda, Vincent Tuss, Chris Hesler, Nick Caster, Bill Hearne, Kevin Musolino, Steve Perry, and Dan Andreasen. And special congratulations to winner Christina O'Sullivan who gets this week's prize: a DVD of the documentary Regret to Inform. "Unforgettable"-- NY Times. "$30 retail!"-- Steve Monaco.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 13, 2006 12:22 AM

 

Bush speaks! (kind of)

Listen to this-- if a guy came up to you on the street jabbering like this, you'd run across traffic just to get away from him.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 12, 2006 2:50 AM

 

Greil Monaco's No-Life Top 10-- The Music and Mayhem edition

(Weird image swiped from the "welcome" page at Donald Fagen's website.)

1) The new Donald Fagen album, Morph the Cat. I always do the same thing with a new Fagen or Steely Dan album-- I latch onto one song immediately and just can't leave it alone. This time, I'm that way with the single, "The H Gang." I like the story, about a local band that may or may not have been the greatest ever, and its lead singer with "a voice and a dream and a soul on fire." But I love the melody and arrangement, the former beautifully crooned by a multi-tracked Fagen, and the latter filled with inventive solos. I like the rest of the album, too, especially the song that follows, "It's What I Do," where Don gets advice on how to score with the women from the ghost of Ray Charles. For now, though, I'm stuck on this song, and I'll get to the others more in a couple of days. Recommended and then some.

2) And the Out-the-Ass Oscar goes to . . . Crash! (Make your own Brokeback Mountain joke here.) Finally saw it-- Crash, that is-- for the same reason I watched Forrest Gump and Traffic: just so I can say with authority how lousy it was. Like the others, I knew it would be bad before I saw it, but I've been swayed many times when the movie turned out to be good and I was-- gasp!-- wrong. But this was worse than I imagined. How can anyone take any of it seriously when the plot contrivances and coicidences are out of old movie serials. The bullets were blanks! Oh, my God, who saw that coming? And in a city of millions, the same two dozen people cross paths over and over as they do everyday things like getting finger-banged by cops and stealing a van full of Cambodian slaves. Jesus, what hokum.

3) Speaking of bullshit . . . I shouldn't admit it, but I actually read a biography of William Frawley. (I typed that out and made myself laugh!) Young'uns under the age of 40 will need to be reminded that he played the grouchy bald old neighbor and landlord of Lucy and Desi in I Love Lucy. Anyway, my favorite part from the book was the speech he gave at a dinner put on by the sponsor of My Three Sons. The President of the company gave an intro so drawn out that Frawley had time to get even drunker than he already was. When he took the mike, he said something like, "I've been in show business for over fifty years, and I've heard a lot of bullshit in my day, but I have never heard bullshit stacked as high as this guy just stacked it." He looked at the CEO and said, "Buddy, I don't know who in the fuck you are, but you are completely full of shit." Then, to the audience, "Thank you and good night." And he sat down and fell asleep. I admit, I yearn for the chance to someday give that speech.

4) And speaking of the Oscars . . . (This is just for SCTV fans) I look forward to the new love story starring Woody Tobias, Jr.-- Hunchback Mountain.

That's enough-- wouldn't you agree?

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 11, 2006 11:32 PM

 

Curse of the Mummy's Kiss

Sir Paul McCartney plants one on Lady Heather-- the only thing real in the pic are the Beatle-wrinkles.

Now . . . want to be really scared? The picture is three years old! (Stylistic apologies to H.P. Lovecraft.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 8, 2006 3:09 AM

 

My movie year (so far)

I haven't done one of these entries for awhile, and while I haven't seen a lot, I still have some ground to make up.

1) Bukowski: Born Into This (2003), directed by John Dullaghan. I've wanted to see this for awhile-- I love Barbet Schroeder's The Bukowski Tapes-- but now that I finally have, I'm afraid that the deification of Buk has begun in earnest. All the footage of the man himself is from other, past sources like Schroeder's, and the new stuff often seems like it should be accompanied by a golden glow. I don't want to hear one of the few Bukowski poems read in its entirety to be done, with reverence and great ham, by Bono. The ending, where Hank's widow Linda Lee (a woman almost as lucky in love as Yoko Ono) tells a story of his death, is so sentimentalized that Bukowski must still be filling his grave with puke. Not recommended, especially for anyone unfamiliar with his work-- read it instead.

2) The Unseen (1945), starring Joel McCrea and Gail Russell. And co-written by Raymond Chandler, although you'd never know it. This was the pseudo-sequel to the popular ghost story The Uninvited, and I remember it scaring the hell out of me when I was 5 or 6. That's undoubtedly because I only saw the opening scenes of spooky houses and murders in the rain (in a sinister place called Salem Alley)-- I never stayed awake to see the hokey plot-turns later in the film, or its out-the-ass ending. The female lead, Gail Russell, really was a beauty; if you don't know her tragic story, you can read about it here-- predictably, it ends with the actress found in an apartment filled with dead soldiers, and I don't mean Marines.

3) Grey Gardens (1975), filmed by The Maysles Brothers. It's bad enough that one of the most unpleasant documentaries ever filmed has just been made into a musical, but now there's news that a new movie is being made with Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange as the crazy daughter and old lady. (I think a better choice for little Edie, shown above, would be Janeane Garofalo.) If you don't know about this film, as unforgettable as it is appalling, you can read all about it at this website that's devoted to the memory of Jackie Kennedy's aunt and cousin and their escapades in their house of filth. Me, I'm waiting for the release of Grey Garments: The Pete and Ray Story.

More to come. Stay tuned.

P.S. 10 minutes later-- With the blinding speed and weird coincidences of the internet at work, Corey Anderson just sent me a link to a current New Yorker piece about the discovery of Grey Gardens' long-lost co-star, The Marble Faun.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 6, 2006 2:40 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #97

It's back to the forties for this week's unknown movie. Another hint: the star isn't shown in the picture below.

One final hint: the film is based on a stage play, and is known for the unique way the director chose to shoot it.

Think you know the title? Then send me an email by Sunday night, and if you're right, expect to see your name in next week's winners circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 6, 2006 2:20 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Last week's movie in question, Warren Beatty's all-star, all-stops version of Dick Tracy (1990), evoked fond memories for some quiz correspondents, especially for regular winner Bill Hearne: "Personally, I thought this movie was atrocious at the time it was released and my opinion has not changed after a more recent viewing. (Even so, Glynne Headley was hot, as always.)" I agree with the last sentiment, but I have a kinder view of the film itself. In fact, I like it better than almost any of the other Hollywood comic-book movies since the old serials.

It's much closer to another love-it-or-loathe-it live-cartoon movie, Altman's Popeye, than its contemporary Batman, with too many songs and a huge cast, in Tracy's case one so swollen with stars it's ridiculous. For once, director Warren Beatty allowed himself as star to be upstaged by practically everyone, which was wise considering most of the cast sported nightmarish make-up jobs that replicated Chester Gould's grotesques. Watching it again, I noticed some of the cameos that I missed the first time, like Colm Meaney as one of the beat cops (one line, two words), but I still can't see some I know are there, like Catherine O'Hara. The movie had so much talent to burn that it even used fast-talking John Moschitta Jr. in silent montages.

(One major casting lapse: R.G. Armstrong was great, but they should have tried to get Ronald Reagan to play Pruneface.)

Everyone's agreed that the movie looks like an old comic book, with the inspired four-color town and costume design. The story only exists to glue together one star-packed scene after another, and the best ones do a great job evoking the fast paced, tough action episodes of the comic strip's best days. When Tracy jumps off a building to a phone pole, he cracks his chin on it, and then falls stiffly to the street-- Dick wasn't too slick in the strip, either, and I thought this was a nice touch.

The movie was produced by Touchstone, and bears a few signs of its time that don't date well, primarily the casting of Madonna as Breathless Mahoney. The inserted music video segments are tiresome, too, and I wonder if some of the footage used might have come from completed scenes that would have been more fun to watch. The movie comes alive when the bad guys are on, and dies when Madonna and the kid take over. And above them all, Al Pacino stands out like his huge padded rear-end as Big Boy Caprice. ("Oh, I'm having a thought, I'm going to have a thought, here it comes-- it's gone.")

The character of Dick Tracy must have more resonance for its star than we knew at the time-- he's currently in a legal battle to make a sequel. I hope he gets to do it, since old men often make great movies.

So congratulations and a two-way wristwatch to the following quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, E. Yarber, Bill Hearne, Leab, Christina O'Sullivan, Hank Parmer, Corey Anderson, Vincent Tuss, and Kevin Musolino. And special congratualtions to Dean Carlson, who is our first winner to actually get something worth money, in this case . . . drumroll . . . the new DVD of the third season of The Mary Tyler Moore Show!

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 6, 2006 12:54 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz now has prizes!

Beginning next Monday, one winner of the quiz each week will get an actual prize of some kind (even though seeing his or her name in the winners circle is reward enough, IMO). The loot will vary, but will always be something that will appeal to the folks who read this blog. I know what the first prize is and it retails for $30, so we're starting out in style.

If you haven't looked at this week's quiz yet, check it out and give it a guess-- figure out the woman in the middle and you just might have it made. Good luck.

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 2, 2006 5:12 PM

 

Doc Savage Love

By the unbelievably great paperback cover artist James Bama.

The Mystic Mullah

Devil on the Moon

The Annihilist

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 2, 2006 1:49 AM

 

Golden memories of Des Moines' past

I was sitting around yakking with an old friend and the talk turned gross. I told him some stories I'd just heard about a guy I went to grade school with, who now lives in another state working as a corpse collector-- he spends his day working for the county picking up the bodies of people who have died in their homes.

To hear him tell it, every other person who croaks in his community weighs over 400 pounds, like the enormous nude woman who died on the toilet. The only way he and his partner could get her off the throne and out of the house was to each throw a leg over their shoulder and pull her like plow-horses all the way. When they finally got to the front door, they paused to catch their breath. Then they saw that the corpse had left a foot-wide skid-mark the entire length of their journey.

Another story he told was even worse: a huge old biker had celebrated his birthday by having his buddies hoist him onto a branch of a tree. It probably sounded like a great idea after the 30th beer, but as soon as he made it to the limb, he had a heart attack and died. Getting him down was made more difficult when the hoisting apparatus broke, leaving the gigantic dead man six feet above, so to speak. When my old buddy and his partner pulled on him to get him loose, a spray of fecal material shot out of the cadaver with firehose intensity, drenching them both. And as Charles Bukowski would have said, they puked and puked and puked.

The friend I was telling all this to then told me a story of his own, about a drive through the streets of Des Moines about 30 years ago that went horribly wrong. He was going home from work one afternoon when he and about 100 other drivers were brought to a halt by the grimmest accident he'd ever seen. A semi from a local by-products plant had overturned in the intersection and its rotting contents were all over the street, including "a slimy green cow."

Traffic was crawling in a single lane, and as my friend got closer to the scene of the crime, "one by one, the windows started rolling down and heads came out and everybody started throwing up, because it was the worst smell you can possibly imagine. And I puked, too." They all drove through it, splattering grue all over their cars as well as the poor cops who were conducting traffic. My buddy said he didn't eat for the rest of the night, and it was shortly after this he became a vegetarian.

Ah, Des Moines-- it's good to be back!

Posted by Steve Monaco at March 1, 2006 2:53 PM

 

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