May 2007

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Guess the actor!

Earlier this week, a well-known Minnesota blogger posted a movie quiz of his own, asking readers to guess who "this fellow" is from a 1957 movie: "He was in the news again this week-- peer hard at the face and see if you can recognize him." Yes, peer really hard.

Farther down, said blogger identifies this actor as "Charles Nelson Reilly, who died last Friday. That's him in the picture in his first and uncredited movie role. The film was A Face in the Crowd, starring Andy Griffith." Later Tuesday, however, the blogger posted an update acknowledging that he might be wrong, but as of Wednesday night, there's been no correction.

(Fact-checking in general seems a chore for him, at least in this entry. He also identifies the sci-fi story "The Roads Must Roll" as being by Ray Bradbury, although directly under his error is a pic of Astounding Science Fiction with the title and correct author, Robert Heinlein.)

Well, I can help him out-- the actor in question (at least for him) is really this fellow:

Star Trek and Walking Tall fans will recognize him as Logan Ramsey, an always-reliable character actor.

But I started thinking how much harder (for you) and fun (for me) the Movie Quiz would be if I did it his way. So here's my own similar, news-oriented "Guess the actor" movie quiz. Good luck!

This multi-talented woman has been making entertainment headlines for leaving the cast of a popular morning TV show. Her feud with Donald Trump got quite ugly, as you'd imagine.

Although a bona fide movie star, this lovable moptop is better known for his music, and has been getting rave reviews for his new CD, Memory Almost Full. A messy divorce almost behind him, he's happy again. And the teenage girls still love him!

This well-known actor worked in movies and TV for almost 30 years before landing the job of a lifetime: playing the President of the United States. Although still dead, he's made news every time the Republicans look at their current potential candidates and shake their heads with nostalgic despair.

(Real movie trivia P.S.-- one of the three above really was in A Face in the Crowd!)

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 30, 2007 10:05 PM

 

My movie year (so far)

Hammerhead (1968), starring Vince "Ben Casey" Edwards. An entertaining American Goldfinger ripoff (filmed in England), produced by Irwin Allen, the disaster king. There's virtually nothing from the Bond film that this one doesn't steal, except perhaps its style, wit, and budget. There's a mod blonde (Judy Geeson, who is good) and sinister older sexpot (the ever-platinum Diana Dors), a jazzy title tune, so lousy it's only played during a chase scene in the background on someone's radio, and even a ticking clock counting down the last seconds of the world! Its body-part-named villian (complete with murderous Man Friday) is only lacking a laser beam to mete out his evilness.

Vince Edwards' natural crudity steers the entire film. (How did millions of Ben Casey viewers ever believe this guy graduated from med school, or any kind of school? Probably the same way they believed the Ponderosa looked remotely real.) Instead of the suave jobs James Bond pretended to have while double agenting, Vince's character, the appropriately-named Charles Hood, is a dealer of vintage porn. Part of the retro fun of the movie is how it tries to be so dirty-- listen to this dialogue from a scene where Geeson, who is tied to Edwards, tries to remove the rope from Vince's wrists. Without the closeups of their bound hands to distract you, what does it sound like is really going on?

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 29, 2007 1:28 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #125

A tougher quiz this week, with an older film and only one picture clue:

I'll also tell you this: the man behind this film cast his new bride in the lead, and he did something shocking to her very-famous hair for her role in the movie.

And that's all I'll tell you. So if you think you know what this is, send me the title in an email by late Sunday night. If you're right, expect to see your name in next week's Chinese winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 28, 2007 1:22 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

"Hey, hey, hey. Who the heck ordered the blood shake? Hey, Ray, it's not Skip. It's Art. I'm just pretending to be Skip. Say, you didn't happen to see an ice pick around here, did you?"

"I recall seeing this in the theater. I thought since it had Tom Hanks, it would be a decent movie. I was wrong."

Heh heh heh. I have to admit, like the above emails, I really enjoyed the other reactions of last week's quiz winners to the movie in question, the 1989 Tom Hanks comedy The 'burbs, directed by horror expert Joe Dante. One thing about this strange little look at sinister goings-on in suburbia became clear from the responses-- the film inspires strong reaction, one way or the other. "I love this movie!" "What a terrible movie." "One of my all-time favs!" "This film is atrocious."

Then there were the assessments of Tom's acting and career arc: "A classic! It was all downhill for Hanks after The 'burbs, The Money Pit, and Bachelor Party." "Someone in the future doing some Tom Hanks AFI special or Oscar presentation is really going to have a lot of fun reading off the early movies in his career." "Might be Tom Hanks' best." I'm not sure I don't agree with the last assessment, more's the pity.

And I agree, too, with Bill Kelly's comment-- "Great score by Jerry Goldsmith"-- and Trevor Jackson's final verdict: "Bruce Dern steals the show."

And considering the size and variety of the rest of the cast, that's saying something. One of the treats of all of Dante's films is the eclectic group of character actors and iconic non-actors he puts together, and this one has a typical mix, including stars of the day like Hanks, Carrie Fisher and the dread Corey Feldman, as well as old standbys like Gale Gordon and Henry Gibson. He also featured the great Brother Theodore in what became his last movie.

As for the question I was asked most-- "You don't like this, do you?"-- the answer is, yes, because I enjoy the way Dante makes his movies. For me, there's more fun in even the 'burb bits that don't work than in all of last week's movie, Celebrity. And any movie that not only features the always lovely Wendy Schaal but allows Bruce Dern to deliver the line, "It smells like they're cookin' a goddamned cat!" is my kind of movie.

Again with the record-breaking turnout for winners this time. So congratulations and a sardine snack to the following folks: Wayne Palmer, Stacy Sarette, Amanda Kowalsky, Paul.W.Swartos, Bill Kelly, Diane Lake, Maggie Ripsin, Mark Gisleson, Donald Greene, Ned Krahl, Joe M., Robert Redwing, Gus Mastrapa, Jack Sparks, Shannon Thompson, Matthew Fitzthum, Michael Mattson, Spike & Theresa, Paul Morita, Anthony Zadra, Matt Melton, Maren Sonstegard, Bill Hearne, Dack Anderson, Elizabeth Schwalbe, Chris McMullen, Kaylee Mund, Vince Tuss, Trevor Jackson, and Nick Caster. And special congrats to Kent Hofmeister, who wins this week's grand prize, Gram Parsons: Fallen Angel!

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 28, 2007 12:25 AM

 

Grim news photos

Here's some stuff I found while trolling Google images with the words "grim news."

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 24, 2007 12:34 PM

 

The Record Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 24, 2007 2:55 AM

 

I'll bet it makes a great mint julep

Who else would have said, "Sure I was glad to see John Wayne win the Oscar. I'm always glad to see the fat lady win the Cadillac on TV, too."

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 23, 2007 2:09 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #124

Like Celebrity, it's another two-star movie, ratings-wise, that will undoubtedly prove to be no one's favorite. Still, let's see what you can do with these three picture clues:

Hard as it may be to believe from these stills, the star of our film in question won not one but two Oscars. (Not so hard to believe, they both came after this movie.)

So if you think you know the title, send me an email by late Sunday night. If you're correct, expect to see your name in next week's neighborly winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 21, 2007 2:16 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

When Woody Allen's 1998 film Celebrity was released, the director's public image was so toxic-- he'd just married Soon-Yi-- that Miramax left his name out of the advertising for the movie! It didn't help make the movie a hit, however, and it was one of the last films Allen made with his producers/supporters Jean Doumanian and her wealthy boyfriend, Jacqui Safra. (Shortly afterward, the two sides would sue each other over their broken partnership, in lawsuits that would last over five years.)

In other words, 1998 was a shitty time for Woody, and in Celebrity, it shows. The flip side of Stardust Memories, his sour valentine to his fans, Celebrity is a collection of vignettes involving a very Woody-like writer protagonist and his brushes with the kind of famous people he wants to become, most of them unsatisfying to both the character and the viewer. The cast is huge, bloated with recognizable faces who often have little to nothing to do, and when one manages to stand out from the crowd (Bebe Neuwirth's banana fellatio, Charlize Theron for just . . . being), it's only a reminder of how flat the rest of the movie has been.

To hear Allen tell it, he didn't even get the actor he wanted for his lead (Alec Baldwin) and he was so dissatisfied with the performance by the star he did get-- Kenneth Branagh-- that, if he'd had his way, they would have reshot the entire film. So let's be glad that he didn't have his way, because Branagh's letter-perfect Wood-man is one of the few constant pleasures in a very fractured, hit-and-miss film. It also makes it blatantly evident how limited Allen can be as a writer: even though he claims he didn't intend the character to be "him," Branagh's performance shows how every line was custom-made for Woody's patented delivery, and no one else's.

So congratulations and a date with Donald Trump to the following quiz winners for recognizing a not-so-good movie when they see it: Wayne Palmer, Hank Gee, Corey Anderson, Vince Tuss, Michael Mattson, Robert Redwing, Holly Roberts, Tim Smit, Diane Lake, Joe Rosenberg, Bill Hearne, Mary L. Doyle, Maureen A Dunaway, Joe Dawkins, and Stacy Sarette. And special bravos to Nick Caster, who wins this week's grand prize: the new 2-disc DVD of Pan's Labyrinth!

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 20, 2007 11:54 PM

 

Welcome to Hell, Jerry!

Some of the friendly faces the Reverend Falwell is seeing right this moment . . .

And of course, Mom will be there . . .

(Pics from the 1925 Italian classic Maciste all'inferno aka Maciste in Hell, the film that made little Federico Fellini want to make movies.)

(The pic isn't quite as crass as it seems-- go here and scroll down to the words "The waterslide stunt".)

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 17, 2007 2:30 AM

 

Monaco's No-Life Bottom Three

1) Eric "Raspberries" Carmen's DUI dashcam video. We have become so blase from seeing on-line videos of our biggest celebs being disgraced that when an old, big-haired rocker of yesteryear gets popped on-camera for drunk driving, nobody even notices.

I'm here to rectify that in the case of Eric Carmen, whose recent arrest for DUI in his native Ohio was tragically under-reported. So for fans who missed it, here's a link to the video. But warning to non-fans: it's even more boring than his solo albums.

(Eric's the cute one-- try and find him.)

2) The movie quiz of all movie quizzes. This isn't "name that movie" like mine, or, for that matter, a test of knowledge in any way. It's about how big a fiend you are for movies-- how many life-hours you've spent seeing things. I'm not sure I'm sorry or happy that I scored near the bottom.

3) Happy birthday, Joseph Cotten. Welles thought he was great and so do I. He worked for almost 50 years, for directors like Carol Reed, Hitchcock, Cukor, Vidor and Bava. His on-screen loves included Marilyn, Valli, Loretta, and Jennifer Jones. And he had a vital role in the greatest film of all time. Not bad!

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 15, 2007 2:28 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #123

Sights and sounds both for this week's clues-- here are the pics:

And here's a sound clip featuring the movie's star. (Think he sounds likes someone else? That's a big clue!)

So if you know the title of this film, send me an email with the title by late Sunday night. If you're right, expect to see your name in next week's very well-known winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 14, 2007 2:01 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Last week's movie in question, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969), is considered a professional and artistic high-water mark for its stars Paul Newman and Robert Redford, and rightfully so. As good as they are in it, though, and as lovely as Katharine Ross is, the biggest star of the film, in my opinion and many others, is the script by William Goldman.

Goldman once quoted James Jones as saying that every paragraph on every page of From Here to Eternity was written exactly the way he wanted, which Goldman then compared to how he felt about his own work: for every page of the script for Butch, Goldman claimed, "That's the best I can do, for better or worse." Of course, there's no "worse" about it, and almost 40 years later, the film is still a crowd-pleaser with countless great lines and scenes.

(Had I included an audio clue with a single line-- "The fall will probably kill ya!"-- I'm sure we would have had more winners than any movie quiz yet. So I didn't!)

The imdb trivia page for Butch has a lot of interesting info, much of it illustrating Goldman's famous assessment of Hollywood, "Nobody knows anything," with a list of all the bad casting and artistic ideas that were considered for this film. Before Redford was chosen for the role of Sundance, attempts were made to get Steve McQueen, and that would have been okay. But Brando? Dustin Hoffman?? And, worst of all, Jack Lemmon, who would have done the movie if he hadn't already been filming The Odd Couple. (He probably would have played both roles the same!)

So congratulations and a jump off a cliff with Paul and Bob to the following astute quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, Joe Rosenberg, Jack Sparks, Tim McDonough, Diane Lake, Stephen Jessup, Denny Lynch, Mick Arran, Stacy Sarette, Andy Bloomberg, Jeff Schroeder, W. Michael Smith, and Hank Gee. And special swag-larded kudos to Vince Tuss, who wins this week's grand prize, Sid & Marty Krofft's The Bugaloos: The Complete Series!

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 13, 2007 11:07 PM

 

The Fredric Wertham Memorial Cover Gallery

(Covers from the exemplary comics site samuelsdesign.com.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 11, 2007 5:37 PM

 

'50s car-lube cartoons from Brazil

The headline isn't quite accurate: while these Bardahl ads played in Brazil, there were also Amercian versions. As a kid, I loved the stupid things more than real cartoons. Especially this one: a creepy night drive through a desert with bats flying around, a damsel in distress (showing cleavage!) being menaced by a masked bad guy, and a good guy who doesn't look too trustworthy either. All of it set to an eerie little jingle, and all of it meant to sell an engine additive!

If you liked that one, here's another, and here's yet another.

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 11, 2007 4:49 PM

 

Monaco's No-Life Bottom Three

Welcome to a new mutation of an old feature. My original "top 10" list, besides being retired when I stopped blogging last fall, was always fraudulently titled, because I never came close to having ten things to write about. Now I'm setting my sights lower, numerically if not topically.

1) Yau-Mania! It's the best Survivor in ages, thanks in large part to 50-something Borneo-born Yau-Man Chan. He couldn't be further from typical reality-show buffery-- in fact, when there was a wrestling challenge, he had to face off against a small young woman! But mentally he may be the biggest ass-kicker the show's ever had, and watching him run rings around the smug young "stars" he's been stuck with has been a laugh-out-loud delight. Good luck on the Sunday finale, Yau! (Image from the Survivor Sucks forum, still one of the funniest message boards around.)

2) Kingston Trio Fantasy Camp. Grab your banjos, all you raspy-voiced geezers-- at least those of you with $2700 to burn-- and join original Trio members John Stewart and Nick Reynolds on-stage, singing "Tom Dooley" and pretending it's half-a-century ago.

The original trio (minus the dead fourth guy), from left to right: Dr. Caligari, Frankenstein, and Harlan Ellison

3) Baby vs Cobra. Just in case you haven't seen it, this makes the baby in the steering wheel video look like great parenting. (Be warned: it took your hardened host three tries before getting to the end, and the video lasts less than half-a-minute!)

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 11, 2007 12:47 AM

 

The world's worst pictures

Some things I found while trolling Google with the words "world's worst."

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 8, 2007 6:40 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #122

A much easier quiz than last time, with a movie that's even more well-known. Three picture clues:

While those aren't the three people you most associate with this film, they all have memorable moments in it that should make this a snap. If you know the title, send me an email by late Sunday night, and-- if you're right-- expect to behold your name in next week's soggy winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 6, 2007 5:06 PM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Last week's picture clue was an on-set photo of James Dickey, author of Deliverance (book and screenplay), dressed up for his small role in the film as Sheriff Bullard. I was pleased that so many winners of last week's quiz commented on its difficulty, and some even had wrong answers or were completely stumped. That's tough to do with a movie so well known that one line alone-- it starts with "Squeal"-- would result in a quiz that everybody won.

Speaking of squealing, poor Ned Beatty-- Deliverance was his first film, and while it made him an overnight star, the personal costs were sizable, and not just from dealing with idiots who wanted to quote the movie. A few years ago, Beatty returned to the scene of the crime, the better to face his demons. According to Burt Reynolds, who accompanied Beatty on the trip, "the whole area has been turned into a Deliverance-style themepark, and the area where the notorious anal rape scene was filmed has been renamed Sodomy Creek."

In preparing the quiz, I was struck by how much the stars of the movie's "Duelling Banjos" scene look like a couple of today's TV stars:

On guitar, a young David Letterman.

And on banjo-- ladies and gentlemen, Anderson Cooper!

So congratulations and some special sweet corn with Ned to the following quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, Diane Lake, Vince Tuss, Brad Cook, kjoretur, Kent Hofmeister, Jack Sparks, Ryan Backman, Brian Hill, Tim McDonough, Tim Smit, Matt Melton, Nick Caster, Tim Sawyer, and Darrel Nelson. And special congratulations to Justin Cullen-Benson, who wins this week's twofer Grand Prize: Eminem-- Music and Passion Live from Las Vegas, and Barry Manilow presents the Anger Management Tour! (Wait-- did I get that right?)

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 6, 2007 5:03 PM

 

My movie year (so far)

Next job, movie reviewer?

I should have prefaced last week's entry by explaining that this blog started out ages ago as an email zine called A Movie A Day. Every month, a few handfuls of unlucky recipients got a text file with my off-the-cuff mini-reviews of all the rubbish I'd watched in the past 30 days. (Hey, the Internets was brand new, and we were all boring each other silly with stuff we wrote and sent around.)

So once and awhile. in the spirit of the old zine, I check in here with a few of the notable things I've watched. It's almost always for purposes of recommendation only-- why waste time talking about shit? Occasionally, though, I make an exception, like this one:

Postcards from the Future: The Chuck Palahniuk Documentary (2003). An amatuerish chronicle of a Palahniuk conference and the great man's interaction with his ghastly fans. While the latter get far too much screen time, it's still mostly footage of readings and interviews filled with the wit and wisdom of the author of Fight Club, which can be boiled down to "Duhhhh . . . " Or words to that effect.

Who does this guy think he is? Apparently, this guy.

Shizukanaru ketto aka The Quiet Duel (1949 - Japan), starring Toshiro Mifune and directed by Akira Kurosawa. Hard to believe that one of the greatest directors of all time got the job by answering an ad in the paper, but that's exactly how Kurosawa started in the '40s. This is only his second film with long-time star Mifune, who plays a surgeon infected with syphilis (from a cut during an operation). His performance as a heartbroken man trying to keep his beloved away (at a time when syphilis was often fatal) is one of his most intimate and, yes, quiet. The Maltin movie guide got it right: even if it's early, minor Kurosawa, it still has standout moments, and the much-mentioned musicbox scene really is wonderful-- an unexpected, laugh-out-loud moment as the conclusion of one of the film's saddest scenes, and quintessential K.

And speaking of syphilis . . .

Sex Hygiene (1942), directed by John Ford. That's right, the John Ford. And this is the notorious Army training film about the danger of social diseases, complete with graphic closeups so grim, even Doris Wishman might have said, Enough! It's a film within a film, as it shows a theaterful of soldiers watching the very movie that the viewer is watching. (John Ford, high-concept man?) And sonofabitch, look who played one of the rapt G.I.s!

It's none other than George "Superman" Reeves! (Apparently, he wasn't the man of stainless steel.) You might better understand his expression once you listen to this sound clip describing the lengths, so to speak, the average guy must go to protect himself from pus-ridden women.

(And according to the film, the biggest cause of V.D. is drunkenness, which often leads to untreated cases that turn into full-blown dementia.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 2, 2007 4:36 PM

 

The Record Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Art by the great Robert Maguire

Because "Stereo-Fo-Fum" just didn't work

1969 Swiss LP by psych group The Shiver, cover by H.R. Giger (no kidding!)

"Kapoun, a St. Paul native, was chaplain in North Oaks, Minnesota, at the time of this recording -- which looks to be the early Seventies. In the Nineties, he would resign in disgrace, the subject of several court cases accusing him of molesting young parishoners."

Posted by Steve Monaco at May 1, 2007 4:13 PM

 

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