October 2007

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The Male Animal

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 30, 2007 2:08 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #147

A bona fide American classic this week-- but what is it?

Movie buffs are groaning at how easy it is, while everyone else is completely stumped. So which group are you in? Let me know by sending me an email with the title-- if you're correct, expect to see your name in next week's pretentious-auteur winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 29, 2007 1:59 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Give a Halloween shout-out to William Castle, the scariest best friend a movie-oriented kid in the '50s and '60s ever had, especially when Castle was on the creative roll that included this week's much beloved movie in question, his 1959 classic The Tingler. It's a black-and-white horror film that you can show to kids today and not bore the shit out of them-- there are few of the slow, expository segments that make '50s B-stuff seem dull now, and the scary stuff is both hilariously hokey and genuinely inventive. The best part: it can still be enjoyed without Castle's (in)famous "Percepto" theater experience, where seats were wired to give random lucky patrons an electric jolt in the ass!

(Eternal quiz winner E. Yarber wrote, "At the Roxy in San Francisco, there was an early 90s showing where the theater actually tried to revive Percepto. The catch was that there were only a few seats hooked up, easily able to spot due to the wires leading to them, and the manager had to spend five minutes before the film coaching the lucky guinea pigs how to position themselves so that they might be able to feel a slight shock.")

Brimming with plot twists and weird touches, none of them remotely logical, The Tingler was perhaps the best of the three films Castle made with screenwriter (and boys adventure novelist) Robb White, and seems to be the one that holds up best today. It's certainly never boring-- besides the main story about the living thing that grows on people's spines when they're afraid, the story manages to also include silent movies (a well done segment with the Tingler crawling through a theater showing Griffith's Tolable David), a rough but inspired surprise color sequence (see last week's bloody bathtub clue), and-- best of all-- Vincent Price freaking out on acid! And most of the time, you can hardly see the Tingler's string!

So by all means, scream-- scream for your life! What better advice can be given on any Halloween?

Another sizable turnout this week, and it's a pleasure to offer congratulations and a free autopsy by Vincent to the following quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, Song-Un Lee, Dean E. Carlson, Bob Redwing, Jack Sparks, E. Yarber, Bill Hearne, Mark Gisleson, Justin Cullen-Benson, The Curmudgeon, Dennis Lynch, Stephen Jessup, Jeffrey Rapp, NeoLotus, Gene Miller, Peter Schilling, Ron Frigstad, Michael Mattson, Nancy Louise Rutherford, Stacy Sarette, and Michael Lewis.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 29, 2007 12:24 AM

 

WTF and then some

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 25, 2007 5:38 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #146

A good, old-fashioned horror movie for Halloween, with three frightening picture clues:

As Count Floyd would say, Scary stuff, eh, kids? Well, anyway, if you know the name of the film, send me an email by late Sunday. If you're right, you'll see your name in next week's homicidal, macabre winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 22, 2007 2:09 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Almost everyone who checked in with a winning answer this past week included at least one filthy line of dialogue from the movie in question, The Last Detail. That's because the movie contains almost nothing but profane conversation-- when it was released in 1973, this picaresque tale of two Navy police taking a sailor to prison was the foulest-mouthed movie yet made, and 34 years later, it still holds its own. Robert Towne's script was even held back (it was finished in 1970) because the language was too extreme for the times, but by the time he was free to rewrite it, the standards had relaxed enough to allow it uncut.

Even so, the intensity of Jack Nicholson's performance as shore policeman Bad Ass Buddusky makes his dialogue sound even more profane than it is. It's one of Jack's absolute best roles and he made the most of it-- besides delivering Towne's hilarious dialogue with deadpan perfection, he's also surprisingly physical in many of his scenes, and his unexpected explosions are great fun to watch. And while it seems ridiculous to describe a character who pulls a gun on a bartender while screaming "I am the motherfucking shore patrol!" as lovable, Nicholson does an amazing job of giving Bad Ass a kind-hearted center that makes him as appealing as any character he's ever played.

(And rather than fill the rest of this entry with a bunch of motherfucking cursing, here's a long page of quotes from the movie-- now, somebody needs to come up with a good Bad Ass soundboard page!)

The Last Detail is also one of Hal Ashby's finest moments, proving that a director who knows how to work with actors and tell a story doesn't need cinematic pyrotechnics of any kind. And it's also not a one-actor film: Randy Quaid, as the poor 18-year-old schnook sentenced to eight years for stealing $40, deserved that year's Oscar more than the monolithic and monotoned John "Paper Chase" Houseman, and Otis Young's performance as the other SP, "Mule" Mulhall, was just as good. (It also has a few early appearances of people who would break out later, like Michael Moriarty, Carol Kane, and Gilda Radner.)

Lots of answers this week, and I was glad to see so many people remembered this film. So congratulations and a hot dog with no fuckin' bun to the following winners: Vince Tuss, Wayne Palmer, Joe Rosenberg, Song-Un Lee, John Seffl, Ron Frigstad, Jack Sparks, Sharon Nordskog, mick, Bill Kelly, Gus Mastrapa, Bill Hearne, Justin Cullen-Benson, Mark Gisleson, Michael Mattson, Donald Greene, Bob Redwing, Stephen Jessup, Thomas Miller, Bill McLaughlin, The Curmudgeon, Nick Bortell, Tim McDonough, E. Yarber, Bob Aulert, Stacy Sarette, Gene Miller, Kevin Musolino, and ap.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 22, 2007 12:23 AM

 

Snack time! (What's it taste like??)

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 19, 2007 2:48 AM

 

Joey Bishop, R.I.P.

(No mention if the above was taken before Joey begged to see Uncle Miltie's legendary member or afterward.)

Joey Bishop has died. Who? you ask. Why, you whippersnapper, the man who was the self-described "mouse in the Rat Pack," whose disastrous foray into the '60s talk show scene gave us none other than a young Regis Philbin as sidekick (his youthful, spittle-flying exuberance was mocked by Johnny Carson: "That guy belongs in a home!"), and who made perhaps the first celebrity C&W album. That's who!

Here's a story told to me years ago-- it's "friend of a friend" stuff, so judge it accordingly.

A bookstore clerk in LA recognized a magazine-buying Joey, and told the old comic that he did and (lying) that he enjoyed his work. The dour comedian beamed at him and insisted that the young clerk come to his house for dinner-- that night, in about an hour. The guy goes, and he said that, even though Bishop had a cook, the food couldn't have been worse, and that the two of them ate in complete silence. (He also learned that, whatever it was, Joey had the same meal every night!) Then, when they were finished, the bookstore clerk was invited to Joey's other nightly ritual: going down to his home movie theater and screening a film from his library. The catch: Joey only owned Joey Bishop movies.

That night, he got very lucky and saw A Guide for the Married Man-- it could have been Betsy's Wedding.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 18, 2007 4:16 PM

 

Monaco's No-Life Bottom Three-- The Halloween Edition

My favorite holiday! And this year, as always, I'll be enjoying the usual spooky stuff that makes Halloween great, like:

1) The parties!

2) The candy!

3) And best of all, the costumes. This year, I think I'll go as bloody, screaming Steve Wozniak.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 18, 2007 1:46 PM

 

Little Larry Craig's favorite storybook

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 15, 2007 3:44 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #145

That's not from the movie in question (it's in color), but a candid shot of the film's director and two of its three stars, one of whom is probably the Monday Movie Quiz's most featured actor. But we haven't done this one, so I thought we should.

That's it for clues-- any dialogue from this profane and riotous picture would be immediately Google-able, so forget it. But if you think you know the title from the above pic, by all means send me an email by late Sunday night-- if you're right, expect to see your name in next week's soon-to-be-imprisoned winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 15, 2007 1:38 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

More than a few winners confessed to not actually knowing last week's movie in question. "I’ll guess and say -30--- I think the last pic is the dude from Dragnet." It is, indeed, that dude of dudes, auteur and TV icon Jack Webb, in his feature film follow-up to seven years as America's favorite cop, Joe Friday.

Webb wrote, directed, and starred in this 1959 cliche mash-up about the newspaper biz, and it abounds with terse exchanges, perspiring brows (mostly those belonging to Jack's co-star and fellow TV icon, William "Cannon" Conrad), and lectures about the importance of the press. In between the sweating and speechifying, twin breaking-news tragedies unwind involving a little girl in a well and a missing pilot, the latter the grandson of the paper's senior reporter. At the same time, Jack's having a bad night because his wife has adopted a kid he doesn't want, since he's still not over the death of his last one, and she's bringing the boy to the office (in the middle of the night) to meet his new daddy. And meanwhile, Conrad's having the devil's own time with those bongo-playing copy boys!

In other words, all it lacked was a cigarette sponsor.

I'm duly impressed by how many correct answers there were, some even from people who'd seen the movie! So congratulations and a chewing-out from Bill Conrad to the following winners: Wayne Palmer, Thomas Miller, Ron Frigstad, mick, Shannon Blatherwick, Jim Moomey, Mark Gisleson, The Curmudgeon, Bill Hearne, Gene Miller, Bob Redwing, Bill McLaughlin, E. Yarber, Corey Anderson, Nancy Louise Rutherford, Vince Tuss, Donald Greene, Paul Rignell, and Song-Un Lee.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 14, 2007 10:55 PM

 

Headline of the week

Stan Lee warned us about Commie femme fatales, but never hipped us to this particular red menace, probably because it's a specialty any girlfriend-free fanboy would kill for:

Rice worried by Putin's broad powers

Seperated at Genesis: Vlad the Super-Impaler and The Watcher

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 14, 2007 1:43 AM

 

Monaco's No-Life Bottom Three

1) Best ringtone ever! I downloaded this as soon as I heard about it, and I don't even have a cellphone. It's based on the recent O.J. Simpson comedy, er, robbery recordings, specifically his questioning the belief that his shit can be stolen. The ringtone itself comes from Harry Shearer's section of the snazzy new site My Damn Channel, which also features video clips from Harry's legendary satellite tapes (like the new one of Dan Rather trying to decide if he should wear a trenchcoat on camera). Anyway, don't play the soundfile at work-- after all, it's O.J.!

2) The Murry Wilson Show. I'm very late getting around to what may be the Beach Boys-related parody of all time, Peter Bagge and Dana Gould's hilarious on-line animation Rock and Roll Dad, featuring Brian, Dennis and Carl's maniacal old man, Murry. Complete with ever-smoldering pipe and a glass eye that pops out like a cork, the cartoon Murry (perfectly voiced by Paul F. Tompkins) is amazingly accurate, although undoubtedly much funnier than the real one. You can find a link to all four episodes, as well as the infamous audio bootleg "Help Me, Rhonda" session where the real-life Murry does his fatherly number on Brian and the Boys, at an archived entry at WMFU's always fantastic blog. And SYNC-o-pate it!

(Murry, planning a comeback with fellow rock-and-roll dads Freddy Lennon and Joe Jackson.)

3) Kicksville 29 B.C. with Tim Matranga. The community radio station KDVS in Davis, CA has been streaming online almost as long as it's been possible, and I've been listening to Tim's Sunday night garage, Northern Soul and psych show for almost eight years! I don't even remember how I first found it, but I've been a regular listener ever since that first night. Simply put, he programs these three genres of '60s music perfectly-- a two hour show can start with Link Wray or Joe Tex and end with psychedelic poetry read by Yvette Mimieux, with Barbara Lewis, The Move and Roky Erickson in between. Tim is also a hardcore record collector, and the wide array of weirdo labels he manages to find is remarkable. You can listen live every Sunday (Midnight to 2 a.m. Central time) and you can listen to last week's show (and see its playlist) here.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 8, 2007 3:29 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #144

So the last couple have been too easy, eh? Okay, then, return with me now to the thrilling days of yesteryear when the winner's circle consisted of three names at most.

The truth is, even I'd have trouble with #1. (If I'd used a pic of his sidekick-- in real life, the older brother of a TV rock star-- it would have been easier, but he isn't nearly as funny-looking as this guy.) But the men in the other two pics are TV heroes so iconic even youngsters around 35 should know them, and imdb guesses always count. So if you think you know the title of this great, great film, send me an email by late Sunday night (the 14th)-- if you're right, we'll report it in next week's winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 8, 2007 12:13 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

The man who was the basis of Amadeus's titular character was once described by classical music expert and radio giant Jim Svejda thusly and well:

"Once, when filling out an application for a summer job, on the line next to 'other' [for] religion, I wrote 'Mozart.' The personnel officer was not amused, but I hadn't intended it as a joke. For there was a time when I was absolutely convinced that Mozart was at least as divinely inspired as Moses, Christ, the Buddha, Lao-tse, or Mohammed, and I suppose I still am. For in no other works of the human imagination can the divine spirit be heard more distinctly than in the literally miraculous music that this often vulgar, unpleasant and difficult man produced during his pathetically short thirty-five years."

For those of us who have been touched deeply in our lives by art, that statement should ring true. But ironically-- and beautifully-- the 1984 film, directed by Milos Forman and written by Peter Schaffer (based on his play) isn't the story of Mozart but his enemy Salieri, or in other words, it's not the story of genius but mediocrity, and the harm that it does to the truly gifted. And much of it is a grand horror movie, too-- on rewatching, I noticed more than ever how creepy and genuinely scary the film becomes as Salieri goes about his dirty work to sabotage his rival. But it's also even funnier than I recalled (Christine Ebersole is especially great), and, needless to say, no film ever had a better soundtrack.

If there's a mystery behind Amadeus, it isn't in the plot but what happened to the cast afterward. More than one quiz winner noted the apparent Amadeus career curse: "The cast must have had the lousiest agents in the business. People magazine could do a whole 'Whatever happened to' issue just on them."

Sad but true-- in fact, the only two who seemed to thrive afterwards were Jeffrey Jones and quiz favorite Vincent Schiavelli. Elizabeth Berridge, who was so lovely and natural as wife Constanze, wound up playing a dopey policewoman on "The John Larroquette Show" and today gets parts like "Wedding guest on videotape" on bad sitcoms. Tom Hulce, Amadeus himself, never starred in another hit and, ultimately, never starred in anything again. Saddest of all, though, has been the constant waste of the talent of F. Murray Abraham, whose ill treatment began as soon as he won his Oscar-- the almost complete lack of applause he received backstage by the press right after winning prompted him to tell them, "You can do better than that."

When you get right down to it, only one guy came out the unreserved winner from the entire film . . .

"Too easy!" was the battle cry of many quiz winners, but-- may I point out-- while this was a fine, big turnout, there still weren't nearly as many right answers as there were for a classic like The 'burbs, so just how easy was it? Anyway, congratulations and a late-night visit from a man in a mask to the following winners: Vince Tuss, Wayne Palmer, Song-Un Lee, Isaac Kaufman, Gus Mastrapa, Bob Redwing, Corey Anderson, Mark Gisleson, Thomas Miller, Bill Hearne, Shannon Blatherwick, Michael Mattson, Michael Kelly, E. Yarber, Mark Hammett, Nancy Louise Rutherford, Joe Rosenberg, Dennis Lynch, Gene Miller, The Curmudgeon, John Reinan, Donald Greene, Kevin Musolino, and Jenn Mattson.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 7, 2007 4:51 PM

 

My movie year (not yet)

I still haven't seen much, or at least nothing to even mention. Meanwhile, new stuff continues to pile up, some of it looking at first glance to be supremely bizarre. I wonder how easy people would find the movie quiz if I used films like these:

Cuentos de hadas para dormir cocodrilos AKA Bedtime Fairy Tales for Crocodiles (Mexico - 2002), directed by Ignacio Ortiz. I knew nothing about this odd blend of fantasy and history, and after reading this synopsis at imdb, I may know even less: "Arcangel gets a message from his brother telling that their father is very sick. Arcangel and his son travel to hometown, the familiy house looks abandoned, only Isabel, a misterious [sic] old woman, is there. His father and brother are dead for so many years. Tranquilino, the grand grand father looked at the eyes of the coyote, since then the horror of a crime and the hell of being unable to sleep will chase them. Teresa is pregnant. Arcangel knows that a curse is coming. 'It's said that only love can save them from disgrace, but that's crap. Love doesn't exist.'"

Still, with moments in the film like the following, maybe the above does make sense after all:

And if that isn't weird enough for you . . .

Oily Maniac (1976 - Hong Kong), produced by The Shaw Brothers. If you're in the mood for action-packed lunacy, you can hardly go wrong with anything by The Shaw Brothers. I don't have to see anything but the title to know that this one will be a laff riot. The reviewer for Hong Kong Digital described the title character as "a charred and melted version of the Michelin Tire man" who can't change into his alter ego without a barrel of oil to drench himself in. His powers then are pretty much limited to oozing down drains and making a mess. But like all good movie monsters, he loves the pretty ladies.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 5, 2007 2:47 PM

 

Oh, no! Not him again!

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 3, 2007 5:47 PM

 

Monaco's No-Life Bottom Three

1) "$3500 sound for only $99!" Forgive me-- I'm going to tell you about my new sound card. It's an M Audio (brand name) Audiophile 2496 (model), and it sells online for as little as $100. Now, for a sound card, that might sound outrageously high, especially considering your computer already has one. But if you don't really like the way your CDs sound-- and who does?-- and wonder if you need a better player, this card is all you need.

If you're able to have your PC and stereo co-exist at least nearby, all you do is plug the output of the card into your preamp, play a music file on your computer, and the sound comes out of your good speakers like it was being played on an audiophile CD player. (Those things sell for thousands, and-- IMO-- they're the biggest stereo ripoff around.) Okay, since I've already lost 99 percent of you, I'm not going to post a pic of it, but here's a link to the info.

I haven't watched a movie since I set it up two weeks ago-- I've been on a non-stop music jag, because it all sounds so much deeper and more natural, I can't get enough of it. Just how good is it? Even mp3s sound decent! (Playing now: Cortot playing Chopin from remastered 78s, preceded by "Long Gone Geek" by Procol Harum.)

2) Go away, Larry David! Much as I enjoyed the first couple seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm, the later ones left me living out the title suggestion, and by the end of the last one, I was hoping the death scenario was meant to be taken symbolically and he was killing off the show. Maybe it was, but if so, David has now resurrected the damned thing, and it's already shaping up to be even worse. He doesn't understand that it's just not that hilarious to watch a near-billionaire steal flowers off a dead old woman's memorial and then shout self-righteously about why he did it. (Of course, the woman in the pic above, the soon-to-be-ex Mrs. David, will undoubtedly be reducing Larry's wealth considerably, and many reviews have noted a negative shift in the way Cheryl Hines' TV-wife is being portrayed this season.) The rest of the regulars aren't cutting it any more, either, from Susie Essman's tiresome Tourette's schtick to Jeff Garlin's continuing lack of improv skills. Last week's toilet-oriented episode was just awful. Larry knew when to call it quits on Seinfeld-- what's the problem this time?

3) Happy birthday, Gore Vidal. Thanks to Mark Gisleson at Norwegianity, I didn't forget. My hero is 82 today, and I am so glad that, if the country had to go the way it did, that we still have him with us, keenly pointing out what's really going wrong the way he has with almost total accuracy all along. To prove it, Mark has posted a remarkable radio interview from 1962, where Studs Terkel talks with Vidal, who's not yet 40, about his two favorite subjects: literature and American history. As you listen, keep in mind that it wasn't that long ago when conversation like this was available on American airwaves on a regular basis-- today you can't find anything this substantial even on our corporate-owned National Public Radio. Anyway, happy birthday, Mr. Vidal!

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 3, 2007 3:39 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #143

That's it. Know the movie? Then send me an email by late Sunday night with the title. If you're correct, expect to wallow in the glory of seeing your name in next week's symphonic winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at October 1, 2007 12:33 AM

 

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