November 11, 2007 - November 17, 2007

Great moments in movie history

I've always loved Akira Kurosawa's Dreams and have grieved that I haven't (to date) seen it on anything but a television screen. But even though I know I'm missing a lot, its beauty and strangeness still come through, and no more so than in the segment titled "Crows." An art lover (obviously modeled after K. himself) browsing a Van Gogh exhibit is transported to Vincent's time and place, and ultimately discovers the artist at work (played by none other than Martin Scorcese). The last few minutes, where the visitor walks through a Van Gogh world, should still work its magic even through youtube video. (And keep in mind, this was done before computers made this kind of thing easy.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at November 17, 2007 2:10 AM

Spoiler alert!

Posted by Steve Monaco at November 17, 2007 1:38 AM

Old Hollywood looking good

Gloria Swanson (and Teddy)

Lucille Ball

Peter Lorre

Posted by Steve Monaco at November 15, 2007 3:14 PM

Monaco's No-Life Bottom Three

1) Whatever happened to Michael Richards? That question's been asked this week during the PR blitz for the mega-Seinfeld DVD box, which includes all episodes, 104 hours of bonus material and a coffee-table book (and only $180-- quite a deal for shows you've already bought after seeing them on TV for the past 10 to 20 years). Apparently, Mike's been on a spiritual pilgrimage in Cambodia on a tour sponsored by the "Life Bliss Foundation." (Episode title: "The Cosmic Cosmo.") In a recent interview with the Chicago Tribune, Jason Alexander said, "The thing we were most afraid of is not that the show would be tainted, but that people would look at Kramer and not be able to forget that incident. And it seems to me that people are very wise. I have only met a few people who have not been able to separate Michael from Kramer." (Alexander also talked about possible sequels to the last episode: "[Kramer] had come out all tattooed and become a rough rider; [Elaine] was a lesbian; I had a sex change ... and Jerry was exactly the way he was. And he would say, 'Boy, that was rough.'")

2) DIY classical music. An on-line friend who knows how much I like contemporary "serious" music (although my favorites are often funny) sent me a link to "Graph Theory," an on-line composition for solo violin by Jason Freeman. Built like a move-by-move video game, it's a five-minute piece that you create by selecting from 61 short, looped musical fragments that you choose by hopping around a graph. The page records your choices and plays back your composition as you go as well as your final masterpiece. But the best and most remarkable part is that what you create is recorded into the "Graph Theory" database, and the next time the piece is performed in public, the soloist actually plays from a print-out of the latest on-line choices! This one gets the Couch Pundit official Seal of Grooviness-- you can start your own version of the piece here. (A test to see if you're a fan of this kind of music: "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Philip Glass.")

3) William Burroughs, plastic surgeon. When I saw the story about Kanye West's mom dying from vanity surgeries, performed by someone with two lost malpractice suits and a possible license suspension (he's had two DUIs in four years), I thought of Burrough's alter ego, Dr. Benway. Benway operates in a lavatory and sterilizes his equipment in the toilet, while boasting that once, caught without surgical instruments, "I removed a uterine tumor with my teeth." He also likes to take frequent breaks between scalpel strokes, only to wail that someone's cut his cocaine with Sani-Flush. For those with sick senses of humor-- meaning all my regular readers-- here's Burroughs himself in a dramatization.

William Burroughs talking to a cop after the former mistook his wife's head for an apple.

Posted by Steve Monaco at November 14, 2007 1:54 AM

The Monday Movie Quiz #149

There you have it-- the star, plot, and visual style of the film, all in one clue. If you know what it is, send me an email by late Sunday night with the title. If you're correct, expect to get a huge buzz from seeing your name in next week's winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at November 12, 2007 1:30 AM

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Read that poster slogan again-- it's a sure sign that a movie will smell when its own tagline doesn't even make sense. And for the most part, The Devil's Rain (1975) lived up to its poster's promise, a silly horror story best synopsized by The Onion AV Club: "Satan is real and really has it in for William Shatner." Bill fights the devil in the hellish form of Ernest Borgnine (that's him in Satanic goat makeup in last week's first picture clue). Borgnine's character, Corbis, wants the souls of Shatner's whole family (played by Tom Skerritt and the great Ida Lupino, among others), resulting in the film's climactic titular meltdown, where practically the entire cast is dissolved into technicolor goo, including Shatner:

(It also melted John Travolta, in his first film-- that was him oozing talent in last week's third clue.)

The '70s were probably Shatner's worst years as an actor, and The Devil's Rain was actually far from the worst thing he did. For one thing, it was an actual feature film, during a time when almost everything else he did was TV. Plus, Shatner the Great Thespian was on display more and more-- as one quiz winner said, 'Whoever taught him his acting style must have had a form of Tourettes. 'The river . . . it's flooding . . . the roads!' Whether he's dressed in a woolen shirt or a Star Fleet uniform, he's always the same guy." (Here's a quick soundclip from the film demonstrating . . . the . . . above! If you're at work, watch out-- it's very loud and he curses, which you'd expect from a movie about devil worship.)

My favorite of Shatner's '70s loser work is a 1974 movie called either Impulse or Want a Ride, Little Girl?. It sucks whatever it's called, but in the best way a bad movie can, with lots of outrageous action, crazed dialogue and acting that's so bad it's brilliant. Give Shatner his due, he never shied away from looking ridiculous on a grand scale, and he plays his serial lady-killer character as only "The Transformed Man" could. Someone's put together a nice video collage of Bill's best moments in it, set to the Everly Brothers recording of "Buona Fortuna, Amore Mio"-- enjoy, especially his wardrobe!

A tougher quiz than usual, according to most of this week's winners, so congratulations and a free facelift from Shatner's surgeon to the following good folks: Wayne Palmer, John Seffl, Joe Rosenberg, Bill Kelly, Bob Redwing, E. Yarber, Dennis Lynch, Bill Hearne, Jeffrey Rapp, Gene Miller, Donald Greene, Thomas Miller, Sharon Nordskog, ron frigstad, Kevin Musolino, Song-Un Lee, and Vince Tuss. Soon, every one of them will look like this:

Posted by Steve Monaco at November 11, 2007 11:41 PM

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