January 2008

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My movie year (so far)

Forklift Driver Klaus: The First Day on the Job (Germany - 2000), written and directed by Stefan Prehn and Jorg Wagner. A ten-minute comedy gem-- a horror movie done as an educational training film, or vice versa. The narration (done by a German voice-over pro who really does training films) calmly comments on and corrects the bloody blunders caused by a careless newbie on his first day driving the lift, as the bodies pile up.

I try never to be presumptious with your time here, but if you can spare ten minutes, I think you'll find this as funny as I did. Warnings: it's in German with subtitles, and the beginning is deliberately a little dull, just like a real educational film. Also, comedy or not, the gore level is rated R, and if you don't like horror, I doubt you'd like this, either.

But for everybody else . . . enjoy.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 30, 2008 10:43 AM

 

Bad marketing ideas of the past

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 29, 2008 1:19 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #160

A great movie, and not as old as it might look.

Know the title? Then send me an email by late Sunday-- if you're correct, expect to see your name in next week's winner's circle, just like a normal person.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 28, 2008 2:48 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" While it's not in the same league as "You talkin' to me?", Robert De Niro's taunt from the 1991 Martin Scorsese remake of Cape Fear would still be in his top five catchphrases. Likewise, his portrayal of Max Cady is one of his few later performances that come close to his best-known taxi-driving one-- in fact, one quiz-winning wag said that last week's picture clue even looked like "an episode of The Travis Bickle Show."

Based on the 1962 version starring Gregory Peck and Robert Mitchum (both had cameos in this remake), it's a star-filled popcorn movie, if a pretty damned grim one. De Niro's character is an ex-con with a Bible's worth of tattoos (Mitchum's character says, "I don't know whether to look at him or read him") who stalks his former lawyer (Nick Nolte) for suppressing evidence that could have kept him out of prison. The cast is filled with fine actors doing interesting things-- I especially enjoyed Joe Don Baker drinking whiskey and Pepto-Bismol-- and the direction is, as you'd expect, inspired (even though the movie was a commercial project Scorsese had to be talked into doing).

But with all the talent on both sides on the camera, De Niro still rules.

Whether by filling a movie theater with cigar smoke or biting off Illeana Douglas' face, De Niro made the most of playing a murderous beast. "Ugliest character he ever played, bar none. I doubt there's a single still from that movie where that ugliness doesn't show through." "De Niro was genuinely horrifying in this role." "Super creepy!" Not all the quiz winners were that impressed, though: "De Niro is good but he still can't hold a candle to Mitchum." "Part of it for me is that De Niro, like Nicholson, can no longer get lost in a role-- they've both become actors playing their image."

And everybody seemed to dislike the thumb-sucking star who played Nolte and Jessica Lange's pot-smoking daughter. "What a cast of heavyweights ... and Juliette Lewis." "I loved the movie, but I just can’t stand her in any incarnation." "Does she ever not suck, no pun intended?" Ouch! (For what it's worth, the infamous scene above was completely ad-libbed by Lewis and De Niro in one take.)

Lots of winners this week, so congratulations and an acting lesson from Max to the following fine folks: John Seffl, Wayne Palmer, Song-Un Lee, Christina O'Sullivan, Isaac Kaufman, Jack Sparks, Mark Gisleson, Bob Redwing, Corey Anderson, Bill Hearne, Thomas Miller, Kenneth Gramer (who was an extra in the movie!), Michael Mattson, Denny Lynch, The Curmudgeon, Mary Mezzenga, Nick Rupar, Bill McLaughlin, Fred Lorence, Dean E. Carlson, Doug Smith, Shaun Faulkner, E. Yarber, Bill Kelly, Donald Greene, Nancy Louise Rutherford, Kevin Musolino, Stacy Sarette, and Vince Tuss. Wow! Your acting lesson will begin . . . right now!

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 28, 2008 12:31 AM

 

Groovy 'dos

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 27, 2008 9:03 PM

 

My movie year (so far)

Small Town Ecstasy (2002), directed by Jay Blumenfield. If, like me, you've been marveling at the performance of Jeff Conaway on Celebrity Rehab, you might also enjoy this documentary about a 40-year-old E buff named Scott (that's him, above, looking youthful), a previous teetotaler who was introduced to the rave scene by his 18-year-old son and took to it like a fish to mercury.

The film documents how stupid one guy can be about his drugs, as it records a party where he rolls with his underage kids (he doesn't actually give them the pills, just the money to buy them). A few days later, after telling the film crew how smart he was to get his money back on his last deal by re-selling most of it, he discovers the cops in his apartment, ready to arrest him-- his ex learned of his chemically-altered approach to quality time and narked him off. After his bail-out (by his 18-year-old), he tells the camera that he's weighing his options: "Homicide. Suicide. Homicide and suicide."

The drug warriors could use this clown as Exhibit A to bolster their case, but no matter how stupid Scott's actions are, the real damage to him and his family occurs when the law makes its special guest appearance. While many things are left up in the air at the end (including his fate at the hands of the justice system), the one thing made clear is that putting him in jail will accomplish nothing for anybody. And besides, how evil a doper can anyone be who cries every time he hears Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle"?

And speaking of dopers . . .

Skidoo (1968), directed by Otto Preminger. Yes, that's none other than Groucho Marx bogarting that joint, in the notorious '60s hippie-esque megaflop that also featured Jackie Gleason taking an acid trip (in a prison cell!), not to mention Carol Channing's groundbreaking performance as . . . Big Bird!

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 25, 2008 12:50 AM

 

Remembering Heath Ledger

And at great prices! (Display at a national chain store.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 24, 2008 1:30 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #159

You're only laughing at how he looks if you haven't seen the movie-- otherwise, you know that there's nothing funny about this guy. Know the name of the movie he's in? Then send me an email by late Sunday-- if you're right, expect to see your name in next week's remade winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 21, 2008 1:40 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

The clues for last week's movie in question, the 1931 gangster classic The Public Enemy, even included its star, James Cagney, in his breakthrough role. That's him looking like Frankenstein in bondage (clue #3) in the film's most memorable non-grapefruit moment. Watching his corpse crash to the floor face-first is still shocking, and it's the perfect ending for one of the most powerful performances the movies ever saw. (How powerful? His character is even named Tom Powers!)

It's the same basic story as Little Caesar, which it followed, and its successor, the original Scarface: the rise and fall of a charismatic hoodlum, thanks to the opportunities provided by prohibition. Director William A. Wellman, arguably the best pre-code filmmaker there was, changed Cagney from the best friend character to the lead, making movie history for them both. Another up-and-coming star of the film was none other than Jean Harlow.

(Get a good look, Jimmy? Three years later, the Hays Code would make that kind of pointed stare a big no-no.)

For a seventy-seven year old film, The Public Enemy is surprisingly modern, thanks to Wellman's direction and, especially, the force of Cagney's great performance. This was the first of the latter's fast-talking tough guy parts (so fast, he wasn't popular in other countries because he needed too many subtitles), and one of the few times his character had no redeeming qualities. As an actor, Cagney was always turned up to eleven, yet he was never hammy, as Orson Welles pointed out, saying he was the best film actor there was. It's all on display in the movie's most famous moment:

It was a tough quiz that actually stumped a few previously-unstumpable correspondents, so bigger than usual congratulations and a dirty rat to the following quiz winners: ron frigstad, Nancy Louise Rutherford, Dennis Lynch, The Curmudgeon, Thomas Miller, Matt Scott, Michael Mattson, Fred Lorence, Song-Un Lee, Christina O'Sullivan, E. Yarber, and Kevin Musolino.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 20, 2008 11:58 PM

 

Great moments in movie history

Something a little different this week-- screenshots from a couple of movies that contain the very first closeups of two well-known stars.

The first is from the 1950 noir classic, Dark City-- it served as the inspiration for the title of Eddie Mueller's indispensible book, Dark City: The Lost World of Film Noir, and is a perfect example of the genre. Among its seedy pleasures are Jack Webb and Harry Morgan cast as enemies for a change, and Webb is hilarious as a weasly, dribble-glass-dispensing gunsel.

The first acting credit reads, "Introducing Charlton Heston," and when it's not obscuring his face, here's the world's first close-up look at the man who would be Moses.

If you think he looks a little sweaty and shifty, you're right-- the first thing he does is duck the cops, then get rid of a hot gun (insert your own NRA joke here).

Looking lovely, on the other hand, is something our next star can't seem to help, no matter what age. Although she'd already been in a couple Australian TV shows, here in her first feature-film close-up, from the immortal drama BMX Bandits, is 16-year-old Nicole Kidman.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 20, 2008 4:28 PM

 

Evolution of a Filmmaker

The above photo has been floating around the 'net ever since Rolling Stone published "The Mystery of Larry Wachowski" a couple years ago, which suggested that half the Matrix creation team might be undergoing a change of gender. More recently, it was reported that his name was now Lana, and he would be revealing his new self in a Dateline NBC interview (but only after his new Speed Racer movie comes out, so it won't hurt the box-office).

Today, a friend sent me an email reminding me that Wachowski is a Johnny/Joanie come-lately among Hollywood's rumored TS auteurs, by sending me some before-and-after shots of directing legend Michael Cimino, triumphant creator of The Deer Hunter and legendary failure behind the historic mega-bomb, Heaven's Gate. After the latter film, Cimino's career made Orson Welles look prolific by comparison, and he quickly dropped out of sight for many years.

Here's what he looked like when he was America's hottest director, circa 1980:

"But," as my friend wrote, "look at 'him' now."

"He looks like the younger sister of transgendered tennis star Renee Richards. Or a C&W burn victim."

Last year, the Spanish-language website Vayacine posted a story that Google translates as "Radical Change Michael Cimino" with this recent photo:

[Again, in Google-Speak] "This woman is not Yoko Ono. The face we see is nothing more or nothing less than the appearance that looks Michael Cimino. Now Cimino has changed sex, called Elizabeth, is dedicated to the literature and lives in Paris." (It also states that his/her appearance "has caused havoc among sectors of the tabloids always thirsting for carnaza.")

So will Wachowski or Cimino be the first to do the remake of Doris Wishman's immortal Let Me Die a Woman? Enquiring minds want to know!

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 16, 2008 12:37 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #158

Well, at least she looks happy, possibly because she was in such a classic movie. Know its title? Then send me an email by late Sunday-- if you get it right, expect to see your name in next week's prohibited winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 14, 2008 12:46 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

"Best monster movie I've seen in ages." "Much smarter than I thought it would be, and funny, too." And, from more than one winner, the simple statement, "Great!" I concur with all the above comments about last week's quiz movie in question, the 2006 Korean horror epic Gwoemul, aka The Host. It's one of those rarest of films that make the cliches of its genre seem new again, and it pleased me as much as anything I saw last year.

Part creature feature, part '50s mutant sci-fi, the title "character" is a nightmarish creature that was created by a pollution of the Han River (commanded by an arrogant American doctor, played by none other than Scott "In Cold Blood" Wilson). Besides killing everyone in sight, the thing is also suspected of carrying a deadly disease, making it even more of a nuisance. When it wraps its tail around a young schoolgirl (see poster) and takes her to its cave in the sewer, her somewhat fractured family comes together to save her.

Needless to say, the plot isn't that exceptional, but everything else about the film definitely is, especially the tandem brilliance of its direction by Bong Joon-Ho (gotta love a guy named Bong!) and the remarkable special effects by Kevin Rafferty and The Orphanage. Not only is little time wasted bringing out the monster, but it makes its first appearance in broad daylight, a very nice and unexpected touch. Bong and his team are also very wise to never show too much of the beast, making for some delightful jolts when it does make an appearance. Full-screen shots like this are the exception, not the rule:

(As they'd say in Deliverance, ain't he got a purty mouth?)

Everything about the production is first rate, which is even more impressive when you learn that the film cost a total of $10 million to make (supposedly, the most expensive Korean movie to date). The performances are uniformly fine-- I'd list the actors, but if I don't know who any of them are, you probably won't either-- and the little girl is especially touching. The ending, which I won't give away, is actually shocking, and would never be done in America. And the final quiet coda is more haunting than a simple "monster" movie has any right to be.

There's a sequel in the works, although it won't be made by the original team-- I'll watch it, if and when it comes out, but I don't expect this kind of delightful, slimy lightning to strike twice. Until then, if you haven't seen this, do yourself a favor and catch it soon-- unless you just can't stand horror movies in general, I can't imagine that you'll be disappointed.

So congratulations and a molotov cocktail to the following winners: Gus Mastrapa, Wayne Palmer, Song-Un Lee, Donald Greene, Bob Aulert, Isaac Kaufman, Spencer Abbe, Tild, Bill Hearne, Thomas Miller, Nick Rupar, Michael Mattson, Kenneth Gramer, Jim Youngdahl, ron frigstad, Stacy Sarette, Nancy Louise Rutherford, and Bob Redwing.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 13, 2008 9:51 PM

 

Classified of the week

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 13, 2008 6:08 PM

 

Ganja time!

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 11, 2008 3:40 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #157

It was my favorite movie of last year, even though it really came out the year before. (That's a very obscure clue, but a clue, nonetheless.) And I'll bet anything that if you saw it, you thought it was great, too. Know it? Then send me an email by late Sunday with the title-- if you're right, expect to tingle from the delight of seeing your name in next week's toxic winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 7, 2008 1:52 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

"The Gipper and Mr. Roper-- who'da thunk it?" "Rotten movie, but then again, it's not every flick that has Clu Gulager billed above Ronald Reagan." "Who doesn't love Reagan as a bad guy (except in real life)?" These and many other wisecracks were made about our fortieth president and his role in last week's quiz movie in question, The Killers (1964), directed by Don(ald) Siegel and even more loosely based on Hemingway's story about hitmen at work than the 1946 movie it was ostensibly remaking.

While retaining the flashback structure and romantic plotline of Robert Siodmak's original film (things the story was too short to need), the '64 remake made the title characters the main focus, a wise move considering the actors playing the roles. "I especially love the relationship between Lee Marvin and Clu Gulager-- they were brilliant bad-asses!" I agree with that quiz winner, especially about Gulager, who seemed to be going out of his way to come up with weird, silly things to do in each scene (i.e., cleaning his sunglasses on Norman Fell's sweaty hair). Of course, it was also Marvin in his early prime years, and this was undoubtedly one of the performances that inspired such allegiance in fans like Mr. White and Mr. Blonde. (Reservoir Dogs fans should like that one.)

While I also agree with another quiz winner about John Cassavetes-- "I love him as a director, but he never really impressed me in most of his acting roles"-- he was still all right as the story's only good guy, and Angie Dickinson was perfect as a slightly used and very desirable back-stabbing witch. Still, in 2008, there's only one actor in The Killers who commands awe every time he's on screen:

"Reagan probably revealed more of his true nature in that role than in any other film." Watching him slap Angie across the face and shoot Cassavetes in the guts, it makes you wonder. What's that you Reaganites are now whining-- he was just acting? Bingo! Just like he did between 1980-1988, only not that badly.

Apparently, this quiz was easier than a silent version of Peter Pan but tougher than movies with Jeff Spicoli, so congratulations and a head-shot from Lee's best silencer to the following winners: Mark Gisleson, Wayne Palmer, Song-Un Lee, The Curmudgeon, Bill Kelly, Michael Mattson, Doug Smith, Bill Hearne, Nancy Louise Rutherford, thinman, Bob Redwing, ron frigstad, Fred Lorence, E. Yarber, Thomas Miller, Joe Rosenberg, Kevin Musolino, and Vince Tuss.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 7, 2008 12:37 AM

 

Son of WTF and then some

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 5, 2008 2:11 AM

 

Important questions for the new year

From Angry Youth Comix by the always-objectionable Johnny Ryan.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 3, 2008 1:41 AM

 

My movie year (so far)

The Bucket List (2007), directed by Rob Reiner. As a nearly lifelong Jack Nicholson fan (I first saw him in The Raven in 1963), he's disappointed me before, but this may be the first time I've actually been embarassed by him, if not disgusted. This is a horribly corny dramedy, filled with ridiculous coincidences (a black mechanic shares a hospital room with the billionaire pig who owns the hospital), and a premise that even Nicholson's character deems "cutesy," as the two dying duffers make out a list of things to do before they-- ha ha!-- kick the bucket. Luckily, the mechanic's new friend can afford to take them all over the world on adventures, so in between chemo sessions, they skydive, race vintage cars, and visit the pyramids, just like all sick old people do.

Nicholson is awful, breathing artificial fire while still trying to be the life of the party. (To be fair, Morgan Freeman has much less to do and does nothing with it-- he's as boring as Jack is insufferable.) The Bucket List isn't much different than the kind of out-of-touch crap that Bob Hope made in the '60s, when he was too old to see that he was too old. Being second fiddle to Adam Sandler isn't the way to stay at the top, but neither is making slick hokum like this. Time to retire?

Albert Brooks' Saturday Night Live films (1975). SNL was originally conceived as a show hosted by Albert Brooks-- it changed when Brooks didn't want the job. Instead, he contributed a collection of short films, which-- as the premiere season went on and the cast became superstars-- were treated by the show like they were Muppet sketches. Watching them today, they're uneven, but the best ones are-- at the least-- as good as anything else that show ever did. The "Surgery" film, where Albert spends the money necessary to allow him to live out his "whim" of performing open-heart surgery, is a great one. Brooks never did a lot of TV parodies, but his "Super-Season" promos were perfect, especially "The Three of Us," about a husband desperate for a threesome with his wife's best friend, complete with laugh track. My favorite, however, still remains "Sick," where a flu-filled Albert can only zoom in and out from his bed, in between hacking fits. Let's hope it's not too much longer before all of his pre-features film work is available on disc.

Posted by Steve Monaco at January 1, 2008 7:37 PM

 

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