February 2008

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The Record Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 29, 2008 11:35 PM

 

Pray like a superhero!

"Riddle me this, Batman-- what's my faith?"

To paraphrase the old saying about books, the problem with all these new webpages is they keep us from getting around to all the old ones. So I just discovered one of the most remarkable examples of comic-book scholarship that I've ever seen: "The Religious Affiliation of Comic Book Characters."

The page and its philosophy are "intended to accurately report the composition of comic book character religiosity." It does that with exhaustive notes, referencing comments on newsgroups and forums (for both comics and religions), with the entries for some heroes so long you'd need some kind of afterlife just to finish them.

So who's what? It turns out The Thing is Jewish, Batman is Episcopalian (lapsed), The Shadow is a Buddhist, and Ghost Rider is Catholic and Baptist both (he probably needs two kinds of saving). Not too surprisingly, the villians listed are all atheists, Satanists, Communists, or Nazis. And The Joker's religion is listed as "Being Batman's Arch-Enemy."

If it all puts you in a Superman mood, here's another on-line treat I'm just getting around to: a video for "Volcano Song" by The Budos Band-- it uses footage from a great '40s Superman cartoon (reedited so the volcano wins!) as a perfect complement to the Budos' mighty wailing. This tune's from their first CD (I like their second and latest even better) and is a good example of what they do. The animation is by Fleischer Studios, the cartoon factory that produced Betty Boop and Popeye.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 28, 2008 2:43 PM

 

And the Academy Award for Worst Picture goes to . . .

Worst Oscars ever, ratings-wise. No surprise-- in fact, it's so unsurprising, even Hollywood's figured it out: when most of the movies being honored are downers, how fun can the show itself be?

So I propose that next year, to boost the show's ratings and its laugh quotient, a new and long-overdue category be introduced: Worst Picture of the Year. These would be the movies that make it to the very bottom, the imdb bottom 100. I've found this list to be much more reliable than the user-driven ones for best movies-- the voters really know what they're doing, from perennial choices like The Astro Zombies and It's Pat to the following nominees for 2007's worst:

Epic Movie, starring Fred Willard, Jennifer Coolidge, and (above) Crispin Glover. What the critics are saying: "Scary Movie. Date Movie. Epic Movie. The titles may not have changed much, but the quality sure has. This latest entry in the movie parody series is the most excruciating, unfunny film you'll see this year. It's like watching a blind darts player with no arms trying to hit the bullseye." (BBC)

Seed, directed by Uwe Boll. Uwe's the horror director who took critic-bashing to a new level by actually pummeling his critics' brains out in the ring. Last year he made a movie all about people getting beaten to death-- coincidence? Uwe himself said, "“I wanted to make a horror movie that was no fun.” But as Dread Central puts it, "Unfortunately his demons have taken the form of a laughable psycho who looks and acts like a dumbass WWE reject."

Who's Your Caddy?, starring Antwan Andre Patton and Faizon Love.

The winner! (Lowest imdb user rating of the year-- 1.5 out of 10.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 27, 2008 1:05 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #164

I'm sure you recognize our hero. But what about the lovely lady with him?

If you know the movie these two characters were in, send me an email with the title by late Sunday. If you're correct, you'll see your name in next week's speechless winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 25, 2008 1:11 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

"And the Oscar for Best Picture goes to . . . "

Well, it didn't go to this week's movie in question, Zodiac (2007). The film didn't even get nominated, a snub that more than a few quiz winners noticed with disapproval. Many also felt it was, by far, the best movie yet by writer-director David Fincher (Fight Club, Se7en), and I agree. As one quiz winner put it, "I've watched Fincher's earlier films with respect for his obvious chops, but the scripts didn't quite make it for me. Zodiac was a whole other kettle of fish-- long, somewhat slow, and doesn't really reveal itself on one viewing. Damn fine film."

Another quiz regular nailed what many people (including yours truly) liked most about the film: "Fincher got most of the rough stuff out of the way early on, and then delivered a gripping police procedural featuring actors who could at times actually resemble human beings." The murder scenes are few but memorable, in large part because they're so far removed from the way these scenes are currently done in Hollywood films (including one or two nominated for that Oscar that Zodiac didn't get). Genuine suspense takes precedence over blood and violence, and the scares are even more impressive considering that it's a decades-old true-crime story that's already known by millions.

Everyone in the cast is first rate, with Mark Ruffalo especially good as Detective Dave Toschi (the role model for Steve McQueen's Bullitt) and Minnesota's own John Carroll Lynch (Drew Carey's TV brother) doing an exceptional job of being creepy by acting perfectly normal. Robert Downey Jr. even returned from the dead to do his best work in awhile as Paul Avery, the reporter who broke the story and, subsequently, himself. Jake Gyllenhaal's portrayal of writer Robert Graysmith might seem over the top until you read about the real Graysmith, who himself says the obsessive mania on display is an accurate depiction of him at the time. (After seeing the film, he supposedly said, "Now I understand why my wife left me.")

Zodiac didn't do well in theaters, but I agree with the quiz winners who speculate that video will keep it alive, and that its reputation will grow as the years pass. It has virtually everything people say they want in American films: intelligence, fine acting, an engrossing story (for once, a movie that deserves its long running time), and even a period rock soundtrack that cuts it. And let's face it-- it also has a great villian.

Lots of replies this week, so congratulations and an Aqua Velva to the following quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, Mary Mezzenga, Donald Greene, Nancy Louise Rutherford, Mark Gisleson, Song-Un Lee, Stacy Sarette, Mike Finley, Brian Jennings, Jack Sparks, Fred Lorence, Bob Redwing, Bill Hearne, Nick Rupar, Michael Mattson, Jeff DeSutter, Bob Aulert, BigRig, E. Yarber, Tim Pendergast, and Kevin Musolino. And special, not-that-off-topic congratulations to City Pages' own Diablo Cody for the screenplay win-- it's not every day my weblog gets listed with that of an Oscar winner's!

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 24, 2008 9:45 PM

 

Roy Scheider's first closeup?

Roy's imdb entry lists the eternal soap The Edge of Night as his first on-screen work, circa 1962. I'm wondering if the above Alpine cigarette commercial didn't precede it. I'm happy to say that Scheider's not very good as a cancer-stick pitchman-- in fact, the only time he looks natural is at the very end, when he fires up the product and takes a big drag, proclaiming it "the high side of menthol."

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 22, 2008 12:05 PM

 

Great moments in movie history

Good news for fans of American Movie and its stars Mark Borchardt and Mike Schank: they'll soon be appearing in the roles of "Gravedigger" and "Gravedigger's Friend" in an upcoming blockbuster titled Hamlet A.D.D. Almost everyone agrees that Mike stole the show in the first-mentioned film, a documentary about his buddy Mark and the movies he was trying to make. Mike's zoned-out monotone and innocent, unassuming personality were a welcome contrast to Mark's motor-mouthed rants, and his meekness makes the following snippet so funny-- it's his "scream audition tape" from a recording session for Mark's latest film. WARNING: Before you start it, turn it down!

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 22, 2008 4:12 AM

 

My movie year (not yet)

Some more films that I can't quite get around to watching.

Bangkok Loco (2004 - Thailand). Saying that this is like a Bollywood-style mashup of Shaolin Soccer and Help!-- with Ringo playing Hannibal Lecter-- still doesn't quite describe it. It's also supposed to be quite dirty, and I'd expect no less from a film directed by someone named Pornchak Honggrattanaporn.

Safari Express (1976 - Italy), directed by Duccio Tessari. A jungle adventure comedy starring Jack Palance-- sounds like quite the wow. The chimp's got charm, but I hope that's as far as that scene goes.

Project Moon Base (1952), based on a story by Robert Heinlein. Set far in the future-- 1970!-- this is a "U.S. vs them" take on building the first lunar base. Since I haven't seen it, I'm only guessing that the poor devil in the picture above is sick from eating some bad green cheese. And apparently when the Earthlings land on the Moon, they find . . . Dr. Bellows from I Dream of Jeannie!

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 21, 2008 10:48 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #163

This week's quiz movie in question is on the dark side, in more ways than one:

Send me an email by late Sunday if you know the title. If you're right, expect to feel the chill of recognition from seeing your name in next week's unsolved winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 18, 2008 1:22 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

"Sad news about Roy." "Scheider was always an under-rated actor-- kind of a neurotic tough guy." "Boy, you must have decided on this one at the last minute!"

Actually-- and eerily-- I'd planned on using another, lesser-known Bob Fosse movie for the quiz, and the news of Roy Scheider's death came just as I was getting it ready. Considering that none of the actor's other films featured Jessica Lange as his own personal (and fantastically-beautiful) angel of death, the choice for homage seemed obvious.

Give Scheider his due-- besides always delivering solid performances, it's not every actor who can go from this:

to this:

As for his portrayal of the fictionalized version of Bob Fosse in All That Jazz, some quiz winners love it ("He'll always be Joe Gideon to me") while others hate the character, which is easy to do. "The film editor deserved his Oscar. It was a boring, pointless story about a selfish creep, but the editing turned it into something magically entertaining." And other winners just really hate the film. "You had so many choices . . . Blue Thunder or the diamonds sliding down the iron stairwell from Marathon Man. But you chose All That Jazz to pay tribute to Roy Scheider-- that movie makes my spleen hurt."

Everybody liked Roy, though, and it was bad news to hear that he died. He was fun to watch, and he made some great movies.

Congratulations and a dance with Ben Vereen to the following quiz winners: Wayne Palmer, Song-Un Lee, Nancy Louise Rutherford, Stacy Sarette, Fred Lorence, Mark Gisleson, Brian Jennings, Bill Hearne, Denny Lynch, Thomas Miller, Kenneth Gramer, Jack Sparks, and Kevin Musolino.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 17, 2008 4:11 PM

 

Great moments in movie history

Who doesn't love Dragnet, except fans of good acting and civil liberties? Both the pioneering black-and-white series and its '60s ultra-camp revival are still shown from time to time, and the deadpan delivery of its star and creator, Jack Webb, has become a part of pop history. But there was an action side to Jack that didn't get much of a workout on TV-- fortunately, the 1954 feature film version included a side-splitting fight scene that lets him and his co-star Ben Alexander strut their out-of-shape stuff. Note the product placement toward the end.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 16, 2008 1:11 PM

 

Curse of WTF and then some

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 13, 2008 1:04 PM

 

My movie year (so far)

Death Sentence (2007), starring Kevin Bacon. Make that Travis Bacon, or is it Kevin Bickle? Whatever his name, the above pic is a perfect example of why this ridiculous movie is so much fun to laugh at: the above pose is Bacon's character trying out his new cannon and shaved skull (just like a cabbie we all know), right after disconnecting himself from every life-support machine known to medicine. And his Dirty Harry-like stance is the result of a gruelling minute spent reading the manual!

Directed by the Saw guy, this Death Wish retread/remake is non-stop idiocy, but while I was assaulted and insulted by it, I was never bored. It takes place in an America where mild-mannered business execs (who kill) are chased down in the streets by armed ghetto gangs, with not a SWAT team in sight. And it's the kind of movie where brutal death in the family is an occasion to play a sad rock song, and the human body can wishstand everything except, perhaps, Kryptonite.

The cast members are all turned up to top volume. Some are good (Bacon, the younger son), some bad (Mrs. John Travolta), and some are as nuts as the movie deserves (Minnesota's own Garrett Hedlund as the gang leader).

And then . . . there's John Goodman.

Is there any A-list character actor more limited and tiresome than Goodman? Someone needs to tell him that it's not enough to be hideous, you need talent, too. Everything he does is weak shtick, and the (supposedly) whackier the role, the hammier and cornier he is. As you can tell from the above shot, he lays it on thicker than ever in Death Sentence, and his performance is the icing on a rancid but oddly enjoyable movie treat.

Please Kill Mr. Kinski (1999), directed by David Schmoeller. A decent companion short feature to Werner Herzog's doc about old Klaus, My Best Fiend. (That's the director and the actor above, sharing the love on the set of Aguirre.) Schmoeller is the main character in his video essay about his difficulties directing Kinski in Crawlspace in 1986. Kinski hated all directors, but, perhaps, Schmoeller more than most. Unfortunately, the directorial skills on display in this film make you wonder if Kinski wasn't at least partially right. Still, the footage of him snarling away is worth the watch, so if you're interested, here it is. (Warning: Klaus is Klaus, and doesn't watch his language.)

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 11, 2008 5:47 PM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #162

Read the news, see the movie.

Send me an email with the correct title by Sunday night and you'll see your name in next week's winner's circle, which waits for no one.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 11, 2008 2:01 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

The comments attached to last week's correct answers read like blurbs on the DVD cover! "Certainly one of the most fun films I’ve seen in a long time." "Recommend it for everyone." "No nomination in best doc, criminal." "I've never heard as much open cheering from the crowd of a documentary as I did during that film." And they sound a lot like the dozens of rave reviews that have already been written about The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, directed by Seth Gordon. Until you see it, it's hard to believe that the story about a rivalry for the world's highest Donkey Kong score could inspire that kind of reaction. But it really is that good, and you don't have to be any kind of gamer to love it.

Another quiz winner writes: "Never before have I seen a doc that contained real folks that were perfect archetypes for us to cheer on or boo. If someone was writing the role of Billy Mitchell they couldn't have created a more perfect villain. From his black wardrobe, trophy wife and general snakelike manner we immediately dislike him." (That's not a cardboard cutout in that pic, he poses like that. Constantly.) He's also the record-holder who won't let go, no matter what, with friends in high places who keep his record sacred. (As for the wife part, here she is.)

While Billy might have been at least the anti-hero in another movie, he couldn't look more Satanic compared to his ultra-modest challenger, Steve Wiebe (WEE-bee). Steve's treatment by Mitchell and the nerd-ocracy in charge of keeping score (including the constant mispronunciation of his name) only makes him seem more sympathetic, and his life story is what gives the film and its subject all of its weight. I doubt I'm alone in wishing they gave Oscars for Best Real-Life Good Guy in a Documentary.

See it. That's my blurb-- once you do, you'll thank me for it.

To several of you, yes, I was being crafty (but, I hope, not unfair) with my choice of this for a quiz, considering that it had been available on disc a total of six days when I used it. "What's the matter? Couldn't you find an advance copy of The Hottie and the Nottie?" And some of you got it right without seeing it (yet-- as I predicted, it's in their Netflix queue). So congratulations and a dozen free games to the following cinematic tastemakers: Gus Mastrapa, Wayne Palmer, Song-Un Lee, E. Yarber, Donald Greene, Stacy Sarette, Jack Sparks, Bill Hearne, Nancy Louise Rutherford, Kenneth Gramer, Michael Mattson, Nick Rupar, Jay LaPlante, and Kevin Musolino.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 11, 2008 12:18 AM

 

Great moments in movie history

From Commando (1988 - India), directed by Babbar Subhash.

Poster for '60s spy spoof The Liquidators-- would you believe it came out a few months after the debut of Get Smart?

Peter Boyle as the villain in Swashbuckler (1976), holding hands with someone who's obviously not Doris Roberts.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 7, 2008 2:36 AM

 

The Monday Movie Quiz #161

Okay, let's see how up-to-date everybody is with their Netflix queues.

Easy enough if you've seen it, impossible if you haven't. But you've seen it, right? Then send me an email by late Sunday with the title-- if you're right, expect to light up from the sight of your name in next week's record-breaking winner's circle.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 4, 2008 12:53 AM

 

Last week's Movie Quiz winners

Hard as it is to believe (for me, at least), the true hero behind the making of last week's quiz movie in question, The Elephant Man (1980), was none other than Mel Brooks. Besides serving as the model for the title character's makeup (kidding!), Brooks was the executive producer and was responsible for the inspired directorial choice of David Lynch. (Even harder to believe, Brooks was a fan of Eraserhead!) He also went to bat for Lynch with the studio, convincing them to let the film be made in black-and-white, aka "box-office poison."

But other than casting his wife, Anne Bancroft (picture clue #2), there's little outward sign that Brooks had anything to do with the film. That's because, wisely, he left his name off the credits. In his recent autobiography, It's Good to Be the King, he stated, “I knew the critics would take offense if there was a property they felt was sacred, and the bean-farting wacko from Blazing Saddles was going to put his grimy paws on it.” So, at least for once, let's hear it for Mel!

Let's also hear it for the film's stars, John Hurt and Anthony Hopkins, who both gave performances as fine and moving as anything they've ever done. Hurt especially deserved all the accolades he received at the time-- not since Boris Karloff became Frankenstein's monster had an actor suffered so much in the makeup chair. With a head and body based on casts made from the real Elephant Man, Hurt was in makeup for seven hours (Karloff only underwent four), and could only work alternating days because of the strain. (His "head" must have weighed almost as much as Joe Piscopo's Sinatra.) That he was able to be as touching and human as he was through so much artificial facework is truly remarkable.

Hopkins, on the other hand, worked against a mask of his own making, a tight, expressionless demeanor in keeping with his character's professional aloofness. That's why so many of us still remember the classic shot when his doctor character sees his patient uncovered for the first time, and a single tear rolls slowly down his face.

Speaking of Frankenstein, Lynch's direction, among other wonderful things, was a sly if somber sendup of it and other old horror movies. The unmasking scene, where John Merrick is pursued and trapped by angry "villagers" is in the same shock-laden style of the original Karloff movie. While we pity the monster, however, we genuinely grieve for Merrick. In some ways, it's still the most emotional film Lynch has ever done.

But I admit, from now on, I will never be able to watch The Elephant Man again without thinking of the comments made by its single greatest fan, a man who knows a thing or two about having a uniquely-shaped head himself-- Karl Pilkington.

As much as he loves the movie, Karl still has some critical questions about it and its hero. "He had a really big hat, and you think, well, that doesn't help. I don't know why anybody would sell him a hat like that-- it just exaggerates it." He also speculates that Merrick might not have been so nice "if he hadn't had the big head. Good-looking people are normally a pain in the arse, whereas odd-looking people seem all right." (He also believes that's why Quasimodo was such a nice guy.) And he feels Merrick's worst luck of all is illustrated in the scene where he's being examined by Hopkins, who proclaims his patient's genitals as "normal." As Karl puts it, "The one way you'd want to be like an elephant, and he's only normal."

Lots of winners again this week, so congratulations and a trunk packed with peanuts to the following quiz conquerors: Vince Tuss, Gus Mastrapa, Wayne Palmer, Song-Un Lee, Mary Mezzenga, Josefina Avila, Mark Gisleson, Corey Anderson, Fred Lorence, Jack Sparks, Bill Hearne, Nancy Louise Rutherford, Bill Kelly, Bill McLaughlin, Thomas Miller, ron frigstad, John Seffl, Bob Aulert, Bob Redwing, Kenneth Gramer, Kevin Musolino, Mitch Avitt, Stacy Sarette, and E. Yarber.

Posted by Steve Monaco at February 3, 2008 8:54 PM

 

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