An Iconoclastic Defense

Girl Scout mom who absconds with cookie dough may just deserve every nickel

The story's in the Washington Post, but the lede (a little journalism jargon for you) is straight out of the "Good Morning America" scriptwriter's handbook:

It took long weekends camped outside their local grocery stores and hours tromping door-to-door, but the Girl Scouts in Springfield Troop 1868 eventually sold enough Thin Mints and Tagalongs to help fund a camping trip to Hersheypark in Hershey, Pa.

But then the mother in charge of the troop's cookie sale vanished, as did her young daughter and $4,483 of the cash, troop leaders said. The summer trip was canceled.

Have you spent any time with prepubescent girls lately? They can be the meanest, cattiest, cruelest, thong-wearing demographic in the history of humankind. So busy are they knocking one another down a peg that we all know it's mom who sells their Thin Mints anyhow.

Facing a camping trip with the wrong mix of Bratz collectors I suspect I, too, would take the money and run. I've checked, and the missing money would just about cover a week at Canyon Ranch, a mixed case of decent wines to hide from its naturopathtic staff, and maybe even a pedicure.

Wherever Cookie Mom is, I hope she has access to premium TV on Sunday, when the hopeful antidote to "Desperate Housewives" premieres. My alter-ego and I will both be watching.