Breakfast of Champions: 11/29

DAILY DISH: WHAT'S NEW AROUND THE SITE

Vast Aire of Cannibal Ox (among other projects) is one of indie hip-hops most charismatic and influential figures. I reviewed his Tuesday show at Whiskey Junction, caught up with him in a quick interview and produced a photo slideshow. Also featured was tour partner Copywrite.

Headline: Minnesota woman invents the motorized tricycle. OK, not really. As Paul Demko blogs, someone got pulled over for the rarely enforced infraction Driving An Automobile With Only Three Tires.

Remember Monday's review of The Other Side Project? If it wasn't descriptive enough for your tastes, now you can scope a video of one of the sketch comedy group's routines, a funny little bit called "So You Think You Can Impress a British Person."

There's a thread about Jeff Severns Guntzel's gay marriage story now up at popular link site Fark.com. Check out the discussion if you're so inclined.

At Balls!, I bow before the wisdom of the Pio Press' Bob Sansevere, who has invented the newest great technique for talent acquisition in baseball: trade players to whom you do not have the rights. Later today I'm planning a post about the six-player deal between the Twins and Rays centered around Matt Garza and Delmon Young. Short preview: good trade for both teams, and a fine score for the hometown nine for 2008 and beyond.

Also coming later: two slideshow image galleries, including a Month In Photos review. For now, to the links of the day.

BRAIN CANDY

Looking ... at ... headline ...
... must ... not ... make ... joke ...
... Will ... get ... sent ... to ... Gitmo ...
... Dogs ... will ... starve ...

If you're not clicking the link, I'll tell you that headline is: "John Ashcroft: I'm Willing to Be Waterboarded."

The obvious response here reminds me of a time when I was watching the premiere of New Jack City, starring Ice T and Wesley Snipes. During the film's climax, Ice T's character Scotty Appleton has finally chased down the loathsome drug dealer Nino Brown, played by Snipes.

Appleton has his gun trained on the prone Brown's head. It's a tense moment, the clash between a man's desire for vigilante justice and his sense of decency. The theater had been boisterous up until that point, with several in the crowd punctuating the exciting moments with impromptu lines of their own.

But now the theater was tense and silent. Ice T trained the gun on Snipes' head, pondered whether he could countenance this type of act. What type of man was he willing to be? Finally, he pulls the gun away. Everyone exhaled.

Except one guy. Who gave a low chuckle and said, loud enough for the whole theater to hear: "Give me the gun, man, I'll do it!"

The theater erupted with laughter and cheers of support.

So, uh, yeah, waterboarding. I mean, if Crisco Johnny's asking for volunteers and all, I suppose I could step up. I mean, hypothetically. Hypothetically. Ontologically. Metaphorically. I'm saying that if he gave me the waterboard, man, I'd do it. Hypothetically.

Friends: you can pay for my legal defense by selling "Don't Waterboard Me, Bro" shirts with a big Ashcroft mug on the front.


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