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Breakfast of Champions 4/23: Please stand by

Filed under: Breakfast of Champions

As you may notice, our annual Best Of issue isn't up yet. We're having some server problems that are delaying the upload -- a Rev. Horton Heat slideshow I made Monday morning is just now appearing -- and it's affecting the issue as well.

This is a purely technical difficulty. The issue content's ready to go, and I'm assured it'll be online by this morning.

You can choose to believe me. Or you can choose to believe one of these alternate explanations, which make me want to laugh instead of punch a kitten in the face.

THE TOP 10 REASONS OUR "BEST OF THE TWIN CITIES" CONTENT IS NOT ONLINE RIGHT NOW

10. A Salvia-bedazzled Matt Snyders tripped over the server, unplugging it; proceeded to dismantle the server so it could become "one with its Buddha nature"

9. The Internet has become bourgeois and outmoded. We choose to go old-school, using only wax and rollers to paste up the issue. Somehow this means it is not accessible from the World Wide Web

8. Turns out Hoffman is Amish

7. Pawlenty budget cuts affecting even the mighty Village Voice Media

6. Douglas Feith seemed down on his luck, in need of work; we asked him to install a web server. Turns out he's not any better at that

5. Demko on his way out decided to take up a new hobby -- walking into random offices, pulling wires at random. Hey, a red one!

4. Our tech people ate something that didn't agree with them, and now the tubes are clogged

3. It was a sophisticated denial-of-service attack from Ron Paul supporters

2. Tom Bartel forgot to pay our credit card bill

1. It's actually online RIGHT NOW, but only the pure of heart can see it.

I can see it. What the hell is wrong with you people?

DAILY DISH: WHAT'S NEW AROUND THE SITE

Elvis Costello's new album release this week provides Jeff Severns Guntzel an excuse to Unearth some 1981 Elvis material from these pages.

Andrea Myers breaks down national coverage received by local bands with new releases, including Tapes 'n Tapes, Cloud Cult, Atmosophere and more.

This Ron Paul CGI animation thread has rapidly become my second-favorite comment thread in my limited tenure at Citypages.com. It is funny on so many levels. I sincerely thank every person for being a part of it.

My favorite comment thread -- of the day at least -- is the pothole haiku thread. Although there's some consternation in the latest Tim Pawlenty VP-o-Meter post's comments as well.

Gary Hodges discusses the latest release from indie game manufacturer Atlus.

Judd Spicer asks: should the Twins' top farm team be closer to the cities?