Salvia: The More You Know...

Categories: Drugs

Ever since our story on the legal psychedelic Salvia divinorum went to print three weeks ago, my inbox has been inundated with emails asking where I bought the stuff, what situations to do it in, etc.

“I was wondering where I can get the Purple Sticky or maybe just buy what is left of yours,” reads the most recent one. “Roger Waters is in Dallas next week and I am flying home for the show, might just be the thing for the show… With gas the price it is I cannot afford to drive to every head shop around and some are not even on the net."

Instead of replying to these emails individually, I’ll just come out with it: 1) no, you cannot buy what's left of mine, and 2) I got it at Maharaja’s near downtown St. Paul. A little birdie tells me they hawk it at Hideaway in Dinkytown, as well. (Note: neither Hideaway nor Maharaja’s paid me to plug them. Not because I possess any journalistic integrity, but because they are cheap, cheap bastards.) So have at ‘er.

Which brings us to 3)...

Salvia is not “just the thing” for a Roger Waters show in Dallas. For one thing, no primate should ingest hallucinogens of any sort within a 30-mile radius of the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex. Dallas is to bad vibes as Los Angeles is to superficiality. Refuse my warning, and you’ll find this out the hard way when the rotting corpse of John F. Kennedy explains it to you in lurid, existentially gut-wrenching detail.

Then there’s the activity itself to consider. Roger Waters shows, I assume, attract sizable crowds. And crowds are usually comprised almost entirely of strangers. Like pot or shrooms, Salvia can elicit nauseating social unease, even ferocious anxiety. But unlike pot or shrooms, Salvia does little to enhance external stimuli. It’s not worth doing in concert settings. There’s no trade-off to be made. You’re not going to swim in the music or ponder his giant pig balloon on a more visceral level. Rather, you will fall to the ground and clasp your temples, trying in vain to remember your name while stoners laugh at you.

Say it with me: Salvia is to be smoked in a quiet, private setting.

But what do I know? My experience with Salvia is rather limited. Sound off in the comments below about your own experience with Salvia (or whatever else). Ask advice. Provide advice. Just don’t smoke Salvia at a Roger Waters show in Dallas.

Safe travels.


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