We read it so you don't have to: U.S. News on Al Franken/Norm Coleman race

Categories: Media

The new issue of U.S. News (& World Report) has a prominent article on the Senate campaign pitting Al Franken against Norm Coleman. Since nobody reads U.S. News anymore, we'll summarize it:


Obligatory SNL joke in headline/subhed: "Not a Laughing Matter / Comedian Al Franken's Minnesota Senate campaign is no joke." Somewhere, originality is rolling over in its grave.

How we look from New York: "With 5.2 million people, Minnesota boasts the nation's highest voter turnout--officials say 80 percent could cast a ballot November 4--and has not gone for a Republican presidential candidate since Nixon in 1972, longer than any other state." Oh, you plucky Midwesterners, way to stick with the whole "Democrat" thing.

Best diss by Franken: "Some counter that Coleman, a former Democrat who left to join the GOP in 1996, has an image problem, too, including Franken, who has called him a 'windsock.'" Get it? Blows whichever which way the ... Aw, forget it.

Coleman preens in the national spotlight: "Meantime, he'll usher the GOP National Convention into the Xcel Energy Center--"The House that Norm Built," as he boasts, since it was a key project during his mayoral years--in September." Coleman has similarly grandiose and self-congratulatiory names for everything else in his life, including his morning stools.

Obligatory SNL kicker: "Which could provide a lesson for Franken: Leave Stewart Smalley at home." This could provide a lesson to the reader: This author was neither good enough nor smart enough to come up with a fresh note to end on.


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