Obama's loss traced to Bradley Campbell

Categories: Politics

Jesus. I thought I had a bad dream. Stayed up too late on Nov. 3 and slept right through the election. Didn't vote and cost the country our chance to elect a black dude with a soft three-point touch and an ultra-tight Caesar. Then this video came in the mail. Sent from, like, the future and stuff. It completely messes with my head:

This Obama-leaning video is like the Philip K. Dick version of rock the vote: if you don't vote, you set in cycle some dystopian nightmare situation where half the country wants your balls and the other half wants your digits. And even though I know that vid was some clever joke, it feels like yak dung to know I just disappointed some dude named Kipu Lobsang.

Or maybe it's the lack of sleep from the red-eye last night. Or maybe it's the nausea from non-stop political advertisements, editorial endorsements or these freaky hallucinations I keep having of Lou Dobbs coming at me shirtless, carrying a jar of massage oil and a bag of Funions.

Anyhow. This thing does makes you want to vote. Not necessarily for Obama. But just to avoid the potential nightmare of becoming the main character in a half-assed Kevin Costner flick.

Prank away at CNNBC. Seems like this is the only worthwhile thing moveon.org has done in the last eight years...

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