As the inauguration began, all eyes were on the ceremonies. Well, when you are in a crowd packed so tight you can barely turn around and can't really see anything of importance going on, the crowd becomes the entertainment for the afternoon. Just listening to the ceremony isn't good enough for our attention-deprived minds.
So while the big shots spoke, here is what was being said and discussed in the masses. The top hilarious moments in the inauguration crowd.
Cheney appears in a wheelchair
When (now former) Vice President Dick Cheney came rolling out to the inauguration in a wheelchair, the crowd couldn't help but chuckle a little. OK, pretty loudly. What a pathetic way to go out.
One conversation in the crowd:
"I heard he hurt his back while moving boxes at his house."
"Yeah right! The Vice President doesn't do his own moving. Is he crazy? He was probably moving boxes of secret documents to the shredder."
Watch the video of his entrance here:
Everyone boos Bush
When (now former) President George W. Bush came out of the Capitol, the crowd didn't hold back on their distaste for him. You could hear the enormous and quite meaningful "boo" echo down the National Mall. The boos quickly turned to a giant sing-along of "Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" which could surely be heard up at the inauguration podium. Another pathetic exit for the administration. Or poor form by the crowd? It seems it would be more powerful if the whole crowd went silent.
Warrn's invocation gets the crowd chatty
There weren't many in the crowd looking forward to Rev. Rick Warren's invocation. Many in our area decided that it was most appropriate to give a play-by-play while he spoke.
Here was our favorite:
Warren: History is your story. The Scripture tells us, "Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God. The Lord is One." And you are the compassionate and merciful one. And you are loving to everyone you have made.
Woman in crowd: Uh huh. Listen to yourself speak, you fool.
Warren:We are so grateful to live in this land, a land of unequaled possibility, where the son of an African immigrant can rise to the highest level of our leadership. And we know today that Dr. King and a great cloud of witnesses are shouting in heaven.
Woman in crowd: Listen to this hypocrite.
Warren: Help us, O God, to remember that we are Americans, united not by race, or religion, or blood, but to our commitment to freedom and justice for all. When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, when we forget you, forgive us. When we presume that our greatness and our prosperity is ours alone, forgive us. When we fail to treat our fellow human beings and all the earth with the respect that they deserve, forgive us.
Woman in crowd: Oh hell no. This guy has got to be joking.
Warren: Help us to share, to serve and to seek the common good of all. May all people of goodwill today join together to work for a more just, a more healthy and a more prosperous nation and a peaceful planet.
Woman in crowd: Even gays?
Warren: And may we never forget that one day all nations and all people will stand accountable before you.
Woman in crowd: You'll be accountable too, you fool.
While the privileged hot shots at the inauguration lucked out with a seat at the event, a very large majority of the crowd in attendance had been standing, waiting in lines and freezing since 4 a.m. When the announcer kindly asked "Please stand" or "Please be seated" the crowd burst into laughter.
One woman in the crowd: Are you bringing us chairs anytime soon? I'd love to sit down. How about a croissant too!
Sayonara Bush! Or wait, is that Obama?
When Bush's helicopter lifted up over the Capitol and the National Mall crowd, many erupted into "Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" with enthusiastic waves and middle fingers. Some confused soul screamed, "Wait, that's Obama!" and suddenly the crowd grew incredibly guilty for their actions. The crowd was right in the first place.
Another noteworthy comment from man in crowd: He still gets to use the helicopter? And fly home? That man means nothing to us. Make him take the Metro like everyone else. He can drive himself home.
God bless the USA!