Vikings 'original Whizzinator' heading to Minn. bar memorabilia wall

Categories: Nasty, Sports
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Photo via eideard
There's really nothing better than a football star getting busted with the pieces needed to beat a drug test using a strap-on penis with fake heated urine. We're talking about ex-Minnesota Viking Onterrio Smith who was busted at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport in 2005 with vials of fake dry urine to pass his drug tests. He said it was used in his "original Whizzinator".

So how do you make a name for your suburban bar in the Twin Cities? Win that very Whizzanator in an auction and display it in your bar for all to see. Nothing better than a fake penis contraption that looks more like a freaky sex toy than a device to hide your substance abuse.

Buster's Sports Bar & Grill in Mankato won the auction Friday and took home the Whizzinator for $750.

We're probably more likely to unexpectedly vomit than to actually purchase more booze if we happened to cross in front of it. If they let us try it on, that would be another story. We've always wanted to try living with a penis for a day. A fake one that pees would get us one step closer. Bar owner Matt Little said he hopes the displayed device will raise the profile of his small-town bar. He plans to hang it in the bar's memorabilia section next to jerseys of Adrian Peterson and Justin Morneau. Classy addition, we're sure of it.

"I want to be the new training camp headquarters for the Vikings," he said in the Pioneer Press.

The auction of seized items took place Friday at the Shakopee Auction Center. The Star Tribune previewed the auction on Friday for any interested fans to go place their bid for the much-needed item.

In 2005, Vikings running back Smith was detained at the airport when they found the elaborate kit in his bag.They found a white powder and when they asked him what it was, he said it was dried urine for his "Whizzinator". He told the officer it helped him pull a clean urine sample. Smith had a history of drug abuse problems and had been suspended in the past for marijuana use. He was also suspended after the Whizzinator was discovered.

In case you aren't familiar with the wonders of the Whizzinator (seriously, you haven't tried one?) we will fill in the details. The kit comes with dried urine, a syringe, and heater packs to keep the urine at body temperature. The urine comes out of a fake strap-on penis that comes in different skin tones so it looks "legit."

Here is a demonstration of putting the Whizzinator on:
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