Banks: Wis. thieves, leave your disguise at home

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Photo by Shane Opatz

​With the recent semi-surge in bank robberies in west-central Wisconsin - at least four in the past three months - banks are strapping more than tasers and 12-gauges behind the counter.

In an attempt to stave off would-be robbers, banks, such as this one in Eau Claire (left), banks have heightened their awareness and posted warnings to the masses. 

Celebrities, rappers, celebrity-rappers and the perpetually cold will no doubt bear most of the brunt.

Apparently the policy "No Hats, No Hoods, No Sunglasses" emblazoned on one of the Eau Claire bank's doors has been in place for a little more than a year. Other banks have begun the habit of simply asking customers to remove those items.

According to a Fox News report, about 40 percent of all bank robberies involve some sort of facial covering. Missouri, having utilized the security policy, witnessed a 47 percent decrease in heists in 2002.

Soon, cashing a check at the drive-up window will require pre-screenings complete with retinal scans and fingerprint recognition. Have we forgotten the philosophies our moonshining, trigger-happy forefathers laid before us? Nowadays, crooks come in shooting all cowardly, making us long for a return to western vigilantism defined by a good dusty chase through Blatz Beer Country:




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