10 Things hipsters couldn't ruin in the '00s

codiceinternet via Flickr.com
The Internet
Oh, remember those giddy early days? Before all the Lolcats and the endless assholes in comments sections nitpicking your spelling. As with anything cool, the Internet has become overrun with hipsters, with their own obnoxious lingua franca and Shibboleths. But for all this dickery, the Internet remains a transformative information-sharing medium that has profoundly altered the way we live, think, and communicate. Internet FTW.

hipster coffee.jpg
Octopus Hat via Flickr.com
A good cup of coffee is a good cup of coffee. Luckily we plebeians don't have to slurp it to fully appreciate the floral undertones. We just want it either a) burned black as the night or b) infused with enough cream and sugar that it tastes exactly like hot chocolate. All we really care about coffee is that the caffeine kicks in before our 45-minute morning commute to our "real jobs", where we earn stuff called "money," because some of us can't afford to sit around talking about coffee all day.

The fact is, beards aren't a rebellion against current fashion standards or a post-feminist return to primal manhood. Beards are what happens when a dude stops shaving. There are great big bushy beards and patchy, wispy beards. Some look good, some look awful; it depends on the face and the beard in question. Don't act like you've "rediscovered" something that's been around since we lived in trees. Beards are here to stay, and as always, the good ones will be friggin' awesome, and the bad ones will make us want to take a shower for a week.

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