Minnesota ranks No. 28 in U.S. penis size. The good news? We're ahead of Wisconsin

"After gathering detailed information on over 27,000 penises, we now have the most comprehensive database of penis sizes on the planet," says Chris Filkins, director of technology at Condomania. "Needless to say, these men's privacy is our utmost concern, and we're interested only in the statistics, and not who's who! But the data itself is pretty interesting."

Scientific study? You be the judge. Meantime, we're going to avoid cliches here folks. We are not going to talk, for example, about the stiff competition.

Oh, wait.

So here are the state rankings. At least we're ahead of Wisconsin:

1. New Hampshire
2. Oregon
3. New York
4. Indiana
5. Arizona
6. Hawaii
7. Louisiana
8. Massachusetts
9. Alabama
10. Washington
11. New Mexico
12. California
13. Arkansas
14. Nevada
15. Virginia
16. Tennessee
17. Illinois
18. Oklahoma
19. South Dakota
20. Georgia
21. Pennsylvania
22. Mississippi
23. Michigan
24. Florida
25. Rhode Island
26. Kansas
27. Maryland
28. Minnesota
29. Vermont
30. Connecticut
31. Wisconsin
32. New Jersey
33. North Dakota
34. Idaho
35. Texas
36. Missouri
37. Montana
38. Ohio
39. Nebraska
40. Colorado
41. Maine
42. North Carolina
43. Delaware
44. South Carolina
45. Kentucky
46. West Virginia
47. Alaska
48. Iowa
49. Utah
50. Wyoming