Joe Mauer sculpted the stadium's ugly Puckett statue, The Onion alleges

Photo by Keith Allison

​Joe Mauer got his moment in the spotlight this week... in The Onion. The just-for-laughs publication featured our much-loved Twins catcher in their Strongside/Weakside regular sports feature. We'd have to say their evaluation wasn't enough to sway our undying love for his irresistible sideburns. Mmm.

You can check out their entire Mauer graphic, but we've pulled out some of the highlights:

STRONG SIDE

• .994 catching average
• Good eye-quadriceps coordination

WEAK SIDE

• Sculpted the horrifying bronze Kirby Puckett for the new stadium
• When all's said and done, still a Minnesota prick

That's our Cretin boy!