Top 10 famous trophy wives

Categories: Lists
It's a hard job, but somebody's gotta do it
Tim Pawlenty didn't step out in front of a Waverly, Iowa, crowd over the weekend and proudly introduce his wife as an accomplished former lawyer and judge. Nope, he wanted to talk about his smokin' hot arm candy! That's an old story for men in powerful positions. Here are 10 of them and their wives:

10. Oksana Grigorieva

Mel, are you seeing this? Are you enraaaaged?

We have the greatest sympathy for dear Oksana, having not only banged Hollywood's #1 Douchebag, but having borne his child. And what reward did the Russian pianist and songwriter reap for her troubles? A world-famous abusive rant from her former main squeeze, complete with comments that bridged that elusive gap between sickening racism and raging misogyny. We can all see why Mel wanted her on his arm, but the question remains: what did she ever see in him?

9. Catherine Zeta Jones

Saying that Catherine Zeta Jones is a trophy wife is a little like saying the Venus de Milo is just a nice conversation piece. The 40-year-old isn't just beautiful, she's also an accomplished actress, with 31 credits under her belt and a fair amount of critical praise. But what makes us a little uneasy is that she's romantically and contractually involved with Michael Douglas. Trivia fact: they have the same birthday. Which means he's exactly 25 years older than her. Creeeeepy!

8. Alana Stewart

Alana Stewart married two famous men

George Hamilton and Rod Stewart both fell for this gorgeous actress, and it wasn't her involvement in quality films like Wasted in Babylon and Naked Movie that caught their fancy, we're sure. She may be easy on the eyes, but she lost major points last year while working on a documentary about her friend Farrah Fawcett's battle with cancer. Stewart reportedly threw a hissy fit about her salary and threatened to walk off the project unless she got what she wanted.

7. Katie Holmes

WHY, Katie? WHY did you marry Tom Cruise

Katie Holmes seemed like such a sweet young lady before she got herself hitched to a couch-bouncing, alien-worshiping nutjob. Nowdays, we're left to wonder what the hell is going on in her head. Has she drunk the Kool-Aid, or does she just hang out with Tom Cruise for that giant sexy nose of his? We'll probably never know - at least until they get divorced and she writes a tell-all book.

6. Anna Nicole Smith

Looking... kind of like a trophy

Admittedly, Anna Nicole Smith isn't so much of a trophy anymore, RIP. But back when she married J. Howard Marshall, an oil executive 63 years older than her, she was quite the prize with rub-on tan, bleached hair, and fake boobs. Unfortunately her efforts were for naught - even after her death, her battle for a double-fistful of poor dead Marshall's fortune is still in question.

5.Linda Hogan

To say Linda Hogan was Hulk Hogan's trophy wife would be perhaps to give too much credit to her more superficial virtues. She was probably a looker in her time, but time and sun have taken their toll on Hogan Knows Best's more permissive parent. It's good to note, though, that during the dissolution of her marriage to the Hulkster, she got a trophy fling on the side in the form of Charlie Hill, a 19-year-old high school classmate of her kids. Keep it classy, Linda Hogan.

4. Carla Bruni

Actress, model, and musician Carla Bruni likes to have affairs with famous men; Mick Jagger, Eric Clapton, and French Prime Minister Laurent Fabius are purported to be amongst her conquests. Surprising, with all that famous-manflesh to sample, that she decided to settle down with French President Nicolas Sarkozy only a few months after they met. If we were him, we'd keep a sharp eye on things; after all, his blushing bride has been quoted as saying that she gets "bored with monogamy." We give it another couple years, tops.

3. Melania Trump


These days when someone's described as a "socialite" as if that were an acceptable means of gainful employment, it usually really means "looking for Mr. Right-Sized Pocketbook." There's no doubt socialite Melania Trump struck oil when she landed Donald Trump, one of the richest men in America. In the uncharitable spaces in our heart, though, all we can think is how all the money in the world wouldn't be worth going to bed with The Hair night after night.

2. Jeri Thompson

At first blush, you might not think of Jeri Thompson as a trophy wife; she's a talk show host, a political commentator, columnist, and media consultant, so she's definitely got the brains to go with her good looks. No, what catapults Ms. Thompson onto our list is her husband Fred's, Pawlentyish comment during the 2008 presidential campaign, in which he cited his most prized possession as his "trophy wife." We wonder how long he slept on the couch after that.

1. Coco

Nicole Austin: better known as "CoCo", or even more accurately, as "the wife of that guy who thought Posse Pops were a good idea." We're not saying the bubbly Playboy model and the star of Law and Order: SVU aren't madly in love. But considering the 21-year difference between the two, we think it's likely that she's probably madly in love with his money and fame, and he's madly in love with those, uh, curves.

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