Garrison Keillor slams Michele Bachmann to save Lake Wobegon

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Garrison Keillor, Homegrown Democrat
​Congresswoman Michele Bachmann once described herself as a fan of Garrison Keillor. But the Bard of Anoka isn't returning the compliment.

In a fundraising letter sent out today to supporters of Bachmann's DFL challenger, Tarryl Clark, the laid back St. Paul humorist took a serious swipe at the sixth district incumbent for "grandstanding" on Fox News.

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Wisconsin Culver's gunslingers secure their rights

Categories: Weird Wisconsin

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Photo: Willie Lunchmeat
On the menu in Wisconsin
​Five pistol-packin' strangers recently scared the dickens out of a 62-year-old woman at a Madison Culver's, and she called the cops.

But now the cops are the ones who are in trouble.

They'd walked into a piece of Second Amendment street theater and not an armed stand off. But they didn't know that until they demanded some ID and explanation from the gunslingers.

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Michael Funches and Christopher Hayes arrested in Christopher DeRonde's murder

Categories: Homicide Files

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​Minneapolis police are crediting their shot-spotter camera system for leading them to two men suspected in the homicide of Christopher DeRonde.

One of the high-tech cameras was installed four years ago, near the site of the Sept. 17 shooting at the corner of North 30th Avenue and North Colfax Avenue.

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Al Franken goofs in the Senate again

Categories: Al Franken
Franken likes to keep things light
Al Franken got into blooper territory while presiding over the Senate yesterday. First, he blasted classical music over the speakers. Then he yelled "Oh God!" when he mixed up some states. Gotta love the comic relief on a boring day.


Franken's gaffe: He was sitting in as presiding officer of the chamber when he recognized New Mexico Sen. Tom Udall as the "senator from Utah."

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Rich Will Wanket is the masturbation real estate pro

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A lifetime of playground taunts parlayed into fifteen minutes of internet glory.
​"Beat it. Flick it. Choke it. Rub it," urges Richard William Wanket in an advertisement for his services as a real estate agent with Edina Realty. "It's all Real Estate Masturbation if your agent isn't doing the work necessary to help you buy or sell your home."

The ad, which first ran in the local edition of the Onion in July, has catapulted to a much wider audience online in the last 48 hours, blowing up those corners of the internet where jerk-off-joke realty ads thrive.

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Barack Obama vs. Michele Bachmann: No contest in new poll

Categories: Politics

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Obama, or Bachmann? No contest.
​A Humphrey Institute/MPR poll out this morning finds that President Barack Obama could struggle in Minnesota on Election Day 2012.

Maybe. But Minnesotans sound pretty sure that he's a much better bet in the White House than, say, congresswoman Michele Bachmann or Gov. Tim Pawlenty.

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Luke Brandon Scott locked his girlfriend in a dog kennel

Categories: Crime

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Luke Brandon Scott made his girlfriend a prisoner of love.
​A 21-year-old woman found out that while breaking up is hard to do, breaking out is even harder. At least, if you're dating Luke Brandon Scott.

Scott had been drinking heavily Sunday night in his St. Paul home when his girlfriend broke the news that she was leaving him for an old boyfriend. Scott, it turns out, is not a man who takes rejection well. Or at all.

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Jesse Ventura's 'Conspiracy Theory' is up for a Stony

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Jesse Ventura hangs with the mellow folk tonight.
When we interviewed Jesse Ventura last year about his new show, "Conspiracy Theory," he certainly came off as a little paranoid.

But not in a Cheech and Chong, flush-the-goods-down-the-toilet way. If anything, Ventura could have used some mellowing out.

Maybe that's why he's up for a special High Times magazine Stony Award tonight in Los Angeles. More likely though, it's because of his longtime advocacy of legalizing marijuana.

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September Twin of the Month: Jim Thome

Categories: Sports

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Photo: Bree McGee
The Twins malaise since clinching has run concurrent to Thome's absence.
Since the Twins clinched the Central on Sept. 21 their staff has approached opposing batsmen with all the aplomb of C.C. Sabathia eyeing a salad bar.

It hasn't been pretty, although I'm not sweating the mess of the past week.  A good spray of champagne in the mug always feels worse the day after.  Should the club continue to belie their otherwise exceptional 2010 come this final series with Toronto however, then we really do have some concern of our hands.

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John Woodward charged in prison plot to kill Jim Backstrom

Categories: Crime

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John Woodward thought he was best buddies with Jim Backstrom.
​When he decided to go into the meth business, John Woodward must have figured his cul-de-sac neighbor, Dakota County Attorney Jim Backstrom, wouldn't notice.

Woodward was wrong.

Now serving prison time on felony drugs charges, Woodward also figured no one would notice that he was hatching a prison plan to have Backstrom killed.

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