Tim Pawlenty's new movie trailer is awesomely over-the-top [VIDEO]

Categories: T-Paw
One man has the courage to make a blockbuster movie preview about himself.
The magic of Hollywood knows no limit. It can even make Tim Pawlenty seem like a compelling figure for 90 seconds.

The erstwhile governor of Minnesota is on a book tour, or running for president, or something, but no one has really been paying attention because there hasn't been a thunderous Jerry-Bruckheimer-style movie preview to make everyone sit up and take notice.

Until now.

The video starts with a dramatic aerial shot of clouds, as low, pensive strings create a musical atmosphere of grandeur and urgency. "The United States of America is the most successful nation the world has ever known," intones the disembodied voice of Tim Pawlenty, as the screen
Liberty is better in widescreen.
jumps in quick succession to shots of the Lincoln Memorial, Cassius Clay, victorious WWII-era sailors, and the Berlin Wall coming down. Eight seconds in, we're already aware that we are in for a dizzying assault of epic imagery.

Quickly the pace escalates. The music becomes more urgent, and rumbles of subwoofer-maximized percussion start randomly punctuating the proceedings. The clips are coming faster and more furiously: Pawlenty striding purposefully through a West-Wing like hallway; Pawlenty on TV giving a speech; reporters and schoolkids paying rapt attention to what Pawlenty has to say. Old glory! Fighter planes! A bunch of wholesome and optimistic-looking white people!

As the video builds to a deafening orgasm of momentousness, Pawlenty says, "This is about rolling up our sleeves. Me and you are gonna have some differences, but as Americans putting our head down and getting it done."

If Pawlenty can run the rest of his campaign in full Dolby Surround Sound, he's got a solid shot at breaking into double-digits by election day.

Here's the video:

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Yikes..."Settling the West wasn't easy"

That's because there were thousands of natives who already lived there. Maybe he should just say "Genocide wasn't easy."


I've said it before and I'll say it again: When the deconstructions of Pawlenty's fizzled candidacy are written, they will have one word in common. The word is "awkward."


It's not often you hear about a movie that everybody agrees is better than the book...

Troy Scheffler
Troy Scheffler

Wouldn't you want to move out of the country if you actually believed your vitriol? I mean, if you really had any sort of ethical backbone to back up the self hatred, then how can you stay here and reap the benefits of your alleged genocidal history? Seems a bit hypocritical. Maybe you would be best off in Africa or something. I hear they have real nice sunsets. That's about it though. Do you have any idea of the history of human migration? At one point or another one people occupied land that was taken by another and so on and so forth. It WAS considered survival of the fittest. You would think all you evolutionists would support genocide... Regardless, maybe you should read up on "native" history and see how many times one tribe occupied another's land. Then again the self hate only requires your mind to focus on the big bad white man. You know the real irony is that it seems like everyone complains about western society, but every race on this planet seems to have no problem benefiting from the prosperity. I don't see a rapid exodus of whites to non white countrys, but I certainly see the opposite. So apparently, you need to get off your self loathing ethnocentric hypocritical high horse and appreciate what you have. Immigrants seem to not have a problem with this country since we seem to have no problem attracting them.

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