Timberwolves sign Zlow Progresh [VIDEO]

Thumbnail image for Z.Progresh.jpg
Progresh arrives from a bunker in Khanistan.
He's no Ricky Rubio, but the Timberwolves (16-50) announced today the intriguing addition of another foreign baller, one Mr. Zlow Progresh.

Desperate to add a steady compliment to record-setting Kevin Love, and looking to conclude the season on a sound note, the Wolves reportedly scoured the globe to find the little-known Progresh.

For more on the mysterious newcomer, let's go to Jerry Rollins at "News 37."

After the segment, there's a special offer for some oceanfront property in Arizona.


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18 comments
Bob
Bob

I love the partner tracker; I use it on mt dog! (and my husband

Moss
Moss

awesome. Levity is needed in this town in these times.

Mermen09
Mermen09

This video is a fail at trying to be funny

Gloria
Gloria

This guy is quick as a cat!

Borat
Borat

Stupid.... The audio is horrible... U can't even hear what they are saying yet when the music comes on, it's loud as hell......

Adam Clark
Adam Clark

yes! another player from europe! wow they are amazing.

Cstyle96
Cstyle96

this m.f weak ass fuck lol

Cstyle96
Cstyle96

is this a fucking joke lol forreal.

Zlow
Zlow

I tenk you all berry much for de support en my new home. I do not know much of Mineesotas yet but I knows de good people of Timberwolf will help me wth de 10feet basket with net insted of helmet and dat de coach Rembus is nice men who help me tie sneakers on first dat and det Mark Beasley is nice men who gives me candy Skittle. I tenk you. I tenk you and hopes not to let you downs wit more losings and depressions in did cold place dat is not like bunkerbut has nice people dat are warm. Loves, Zlow.

Duke
Duke

got to love a player who came from a bunker, we need more eastern europeans.

efe
efe

My good friend-

Enjoyed the footage...at this juncture...do you think that GM or owner will let go of Rambis...this is ATROCIOUS!...do you think that we are going to be stuck with the same type of Malaise-management, and squander the youthfulness of our squad. I cant stand his rotation, and we lose to many games in the 4th quarter...i'm tired of watching futility through management...oh well, its the life of a minnesotan sports fan.

keep up the good read.efe.

jim
jim

juddie watching this in maui... good work..on the local scene,.i saw another candidate for the w's a finalist in a local boiled spam eating contest, finished last as he kept dropping the spam pieces...bad hands, but otherwise a.good resume, by woofie standards as a former minor leaguer sumo wrestler without the athleticism but with the weight for the paint...for perspective, he is a project, like a mule running stiff legged against thoroughbreds in a triple crown race...but still rambis and more likely kahn will see some triangulated good; but progresh is further ahead than this hawaiian dude....keep up the good work and when does lizzie make another cameo? the first national bank of glen taylor must be near insolvency...can the nba examiners be far behind?

Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris

A nice combo of Latka Gravas from Taxi and Borat. Let's hope he can hoop!

BNathan
BNathan

Now we're talkin'! This is absolutely fantastic! Better thanSaturday NIght Live! Loved it! We'll be watching you 33!

Spud Webb
Spud Webb

Progresh is what the Wolves need. Leadership is what GM needs to be thinking right now. Build the team around Progresh and let the chips fall.

myles
myles

Sign him FAST. Anything is better than what we have now.

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