Trump-Bachmann 2012: The all-crazy all-birther ticket

A certain kind of dream ticket.

​Minnesota's two favorite maybe-probably presidential candidates aren't exactly tearing out of the gate.

A poll last week showed Tim Pawlenty and Michele Bachmann duking it out for last place among likely Republican presidential candidates.

This week things are even worse: In a Washington Post / ABC News poll released today, likely Republican voters were asked who they'd vote for if their state primary or caucus were held today. The results weren't encouraging for team Minnesota: Both Bachmann and Pawlenty garnered just 1 percent of the hypothetical votes.

Mitt Romney did best, with 16 percent support. OK, fine. Romney is a former governor and an experienced candidate, and whatever you think of his policy positions, there are reasonable people who take him seriously.

Next up is Donald Trump, with 8 percent support. Let's say that again: Republican voters are eight times more likely to support a gibbering fame-whoring ambulatory toupee than they are to vote for Pawlenty or Bachmann.

But it's never too early to start talking about the silver medal. Pawlenty may be a lost cause, but Bachmann and the pig-eyed reality-show celebritwerp have some things in common, like an unabashed willingness to ride the crypto-racist birther issue to fame and fortune.

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Media freak Trump has star power Bachmann can only dream of.

​Trump has been running that play for a few weeks now, but Bachmann was on the birther tip when the Donald was still firing Stephen Baldwin and Nadia Comaneci. Just yesterday she pledged to bring her own birth certificate to the first presidential debate, like some kind of nativist show-and-tell.

The kinship is so strong that the Atlantic is throwing out the notion of a Trump-Bachmann ticket. Coastal liberal elites that they are, the Atlantic is probably being ironic or something, but politics has a funny way of turning the comically unlikely into the all too real.

It's a nicely split ticket, after all: male/female, coastal/heartland, city mouse/country mouse. And there's always a certain strain of American ready to throw in overcooked bloviators.

So laugh while you can: Soon enough we may all be watching these two auditioning White House interns on prime-time TV.

Bachmann and the Birthers:

• Bachmann refuses to acknowledge Obama citizenship
• Bachmann embraces birther Orly Taitz
• Bachmann doubles down with birthers on GMA
• Bachmann won't show her birth certificate
• Tim Pawlenty: Barack Obama really is American
• Tim Pawlenty vs. Donald Trump, Birther
• Michele Bachmann poses beside "Kenyan village idiot" sign
• Michele Bachmann calls Barack Obama's birth certificate a facsimile