10 Lake Calhoun name changes that don't honor a pro-slavery racist

Categories: How We Live
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John C. Calhoun. Can we find a better name for his namesake lake?
Lake Calhoun is named after John C. Calhoun, once a U.S. senator, vice president of the United States, secretary of war under President James Monroe, and the force behind the construction of Fort Snelling. That's why the lake bears his name.

Calhoun was also a racist, a man who believed that slavery was "a positive good," and now there's a movement to persuade the Park Board to find a better name for the lake.

We have a few ideas. Check them out below, then vote for your favorite or make write-in nominations in the comments.

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If Jessica Biel can bust heads in Blade, she's worthy of a lake named in her honor.
Lake Biel

Lake Calhoun's name is a reminder of an ugly period in history, with a grizzled poster boy to boot. Why not name the prettiest lake in town after a woman so dazzlingly beautiful she can't land a decent role in Hollywood, the poor dear? Ely native Jessica Biel may not have an Oscar, but her trophy case is stacked full of "hottest" list issues of Maxim and Stuff. Perhaps by proxy, Lake Biel would be declared "Sexiest Lake Alive." You could bounce a quarter off that boat dock.

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Tay Zonday made us proud. And the ice cream promotional tie-ins are endless

Lake Zonday

The celebrities of tomorrow will not be thespians or thinkers, but rather Davids at the dentists and LOLcatz. These memesters will surely have monuments named after them, so we should be ahead of the curve with Tay Zonday. He recorded his Chocolate Rain YouTube video while in grad school at the U. The ice cream promotional tie-ins are endless. Also, we're worried about him. We just want to make sure he has something to do.

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Har Mar Superstar: Another Minnesotan outstanding in his field (and his underwear).
Lake Superstar

You can name monuments and government buildings after dead politicians, but not lakes. Lakes should be named after giants in the field of recreation--ideally, people famous for cavorting in their underwear. Our own Har Mar Superstar is just such a man. Also, there would just be something wonderful about being able to say you're going for a dip in Lake Superstar.

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Wouldn't it be cool to take a dip in The Purple One?
Lake Prince

Let's rename the lake for the man who truly put Minnesota on the map: our beloved Prince. Before the Artist got to be a megastar, the rest of the world viewed us as a land of snow and ice--if they thought about us at all. Prince transformed us from flyover country into a musical mecca. Plus, the name change comes with a built-in perk: Every year on the pop star's birthday, we could dye the lake purple and party on its beaches. Prince sightings would be virtually guaranteed.

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Willie Mays was a Miller before he went to New York.
Lake Mays

Sure, Willie Mays played for only one season in Minneapolis--a mere 35 games for the '51 Millers, where he put up such an unreal line (.477 batting average, .799 slugging percentage, a 1.323 OPS) that the New York Giants had no choice but to call him up. Let's recognize the fact that Minneapolis was the last stop for one of the greatest players in baseball history.

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17 comments
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Doubleutf
Doubleutf

They should change it to Kunta Kinte, no wait! Toby!!! Call it Toby!!!

Love our lakes
Love our lakes

sure, at first, i was a little skeptical about changing the name of the lake we all know and love, but when it comes down to it i have absolutely no need to honor a honor racist. seems to me that the lake is all about bringing the diverse population of minneapolis together to have a kick as time all year round. so lets honor our diverse community, our beautiful lakes, and our opportunity to grow by naming the lake after someone who shares the same "lets get down together attitude" as i hope we all do. The city pages has offered up some pretty boss choices so far! Good work guys! obviously Lake Prince is my number one. but i am also down with Lake Superstar, Lake Mays, Lake Killebrew, Lake Dylan, and Lake Dred. All of these people are worthy of having such a bad ass place named after them. It's time to move on from this calhoun bull shit. that was then this is now. fuck, if i had my way we sure as hell wouldn't be celebrating Columbus day.

Kirk the Conservative Jerk
Kirk the Conservative Jerk

"10 Lake Calhoun name changes that don't honor a pro-slavery racist"

Don't you mean an "Pro-Slavery Democrat"Oh wait, that would be pointless.  All Democrats back then were also "Pro-Slavery".

Democrats:The True Founders of Slavery!

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

Makes me proud as a fellow Tea Party Republican deep thinker that you were  all mad that people were  blaming Bush for our economic troubles yet go back to the 1800s to bash Democrats.  Once again you prove Republicans won't be bothered with facts, logic, or consistency when making their arguments.  

Kirk the Conservative Jerk
Kirk the Conservative Jerk

You have to fight fire with fire!  It was perfectly logical for the Democrats to blame current failures on the past.  So this comparison, would also be perfectly logical to a democrat right?  Granted, I'm sure most democrats are no longer "pro-slavery", but for some reason they sure like to herd and segregate the people in categories.  Strange huh?  Dem-a-rat Logic - weekdays, on Kirk Talk FMSorry Joe S, but I may have to steel that...

As Obama said: 'If They Bring a Knife to the Fight, We Bring a Gun’ (2008)Obama is like a evil genius, and his fighting tactics, should be noted and used.

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

I feel like I'm on Huffington Post with others profiting from my ideas and writing since I came up with 3 of those lake names in one of my comments.   HVD knows I'm  so much better than Sarah Palin and this proves it.  

Kirk the Conservative Jerk
Kirk the Conservative Jerk

I thought you and Hart Von Douchebag (HVD), were the same person phony MB."HVD" I love it!HVD sounds like a venereal disease."Hart's Venereal Disease"

khayam raza
khayam raza

don't forget f. scott fitzgerald.  he wrote "the great gatsby" and he doesn't have much named after him.

Ben
Ben

People sure didn't seem to care about the name when they voted it City Pages Best lake multiple years.

thrashmaster
thrashmaster

In a hundred years Muslims will be renaming things that were named after politicians who supported gay marriage. Anybody can play this game. The name Lake Calhoun is so established through its own history by now the trivial origin of the name is no longer even relevant. If it bothers you, pretend its named after Calhoun Tubbs from the In Living Color skits.

It's also a little more than ironic that the City of Minneapolis has to put so much police effort and resources into keeping slave descendents from causing trouble at Lake Calhoun, lest they scare away the white urban hipsters who hop on politically correct and frivilous name changing bandwagons against long-forgotten, irrelevant namesakes.

Texasota
Texasota

Yeah this was a pretty disgusting comment.

thrashmaster
thrashmaster

The truth is not always pleasant. Some can deal with it. Others have weak stomachs.

webcelt
webcelt

If you live in Minneapolis, you should know better. If you don't, shut the fuck up.

thrashmaster
thrashmaster

I've been recreating around Lake Calhoun for twenty years. The police presence is not there for the Kenwood teenage sunbathers. If you think what was congregating and loitering in the south east parking lots seven or eight years ago was going to be allowed to stay there, then you STFU.  

webcelt
webcelt

Three kinds of bigotry in one comment, racial, religious, and homophobic. You must have been practicing.

Greg
Greg

can't anyone leave shit alone?

Ben
Ben

This is so stupid.  Give it a rest already.  No one cares.  The lake wasn't named after John C. Calhoun because he was a racist (something that most were at the time including many people we elected president of this country or others that held many other offices), it was named after him for his positive contributions to the Twin Cities area.

If we rename Lake Calhoun, lets move next to rename the Washington Monument, Jefferson Memorial and other lakes, monuments, streets, etc that were named for people that at the time held generally accepted views that now over 100 years later have changed.

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