Sarah Palin will help Bristol hawk books at MOA

Categories: Politics

palin almost signs city pages.jpg
Nick Vlcek
Palin almost signed City Pages the last time she visited MOA.
Undeterred by a tomato thrower and the smaller-than-anticipated crowd that greeted her the last time she tried to move product at the Mall of America, Sarah Palin has booked a return engagement.

Personifying the phrase "helicopter mom," she'll be at MOA tomorrow to school her daughter in the fine art of personal brand management, as Bristol signs copies of her memoir, "Not Afraid of Life."

Mama Grizzly may lose elections and quit important jobs, but when it comes to be a shameless self promoter, the woman is a pro. Bristol's off to a good start in that regard -- Dancing With The Stars was a boon -- but she'd do well to take notes.

Thumbnail image for bristolpalin2.jpg
Bristol Palin on DWTS.
For example, Palin just happens to be in the neighborhood these days, shilling her own feature-length public relations movie in Iowa. So why not cut costs and piggyback two sales jobs into one! Economies of scale are important.

And remember how, the last time she was in Minnesota, Palin helped Michele Bachmann raise a pile of cash with $10,000-a-pop photo ops? You know you're a master saleswoman when you can get fat cats to lighten their wallets just by showing up and winking.

The time before that, Palin was flogging "Going Rogue," to keep it on the best-seller lists, enduring day after day of fawning praise from breathless supporters. Getting one's ego stroked on a daily basis is important for maintaining self esteem.

It also helps stave off the low points. Jeremy Paul Olson was also at MOA that day, armed with a pair of tomatoes on the second floor balcony overlooking the rotunda. As Palin and hubby Todd sat autographing books, Olson let fly with the vegetables.

He missed.

If you're going to the festivities, they start at 5 p.m. And you'd better take a look at these rules before you even think about getting a Palin autograph, or posing for a photo.


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I see according to the rules that you must first purchase grifter jr's book to garner lady blah blah's autograph...


I thought we had enough BIMBOS in MN already

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

This book is filled with nuggets of wisdom.   You will find no better advice book that deals with teen pregnancy.    If you get pregnant when you are 16 by some idiot because you have shitty parents all you have to do to have a sweet life is get on a reality show.   It's pretty much universal advice.   

Kirk the Conservative Jerk
Kirk the Conservative Jerk

A lesson in liberalism 101.'Celebrate this debauchery.  Praise her.'End of lesson.

It's great, that she has decided to come into Minnesota, to sell and sign these books?Think of the taxes collected, which can be used to pay for a study of sand at the U of M.


Wait, B. Palin is a liberal? I hadn't noticed.

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

You wouldn't want to ever study sand by the way.   When has sand ever done anything for mankind?  Sand could never be used for anything useful so don't even bother thinking about it or studying it.   Liberals are so lame with their colleges and science.  I challenge you idiot liberals to name one thing science has ever done to improve my life.   We don't need no liberal fancy pants studies at the U of M.    Such a waste of time to study things.  It's not like you'd find medicine looking at mold or anything like that.   Way to show how smart you are while making fun of how lame learning is.  I can see why you think Republicans are so smart kirk.   


 Sand is used to make semiconductors which are used to make RFID tags so the government can know where you are every minute of the day!

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