Bemidji to change "Stoner Avenue" to something less awesome

Categories: Drugs
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This guy is upset, but can't remember why.
Stoner Avenue in Bemidji is set for a name change after years of stolen signs and giggling high school kids.

The Bemidji City Council agreed unanimously last night to approve a change to something less weed-friendly. Craig Gray, a city engineer, said at least a dozen Stoner Ave. signs were stolen each year, adding up to thousands of dollars to replace them.

Though, to be fair, some of those signs were stolen twice by the same kids, who just forgot they already stole it.

At about $100 a sign, the city might have spent $20,000 over the last decade replacing Stoner Ave. markers, according to Gray's math. But who knows? Math is hard, man.

Conveniently, the county actually has an ordinance in place for just this kind of problem. If a road sign is vandalized more than four times, the road name can be changed. Presumably, this is to protect the county in case a given name falls out of fashion, so that the city can change now-embarrassing names like "Hooker Blvd." or "Immigrants Must Live On This St."

Gray described a particularly bad time last year, when eight signs were replaced, only to have five of the new signs stolen within two years. Those replacements gouged the city, but will look awesome in dorm rooms next year.

One of the names floated to replace Stoner Avenue was "Franklin," which seems harmless. But maybe the council will think differently if they come across some of the listings for "Franklin" on Urban Dictionary.  You can't win, Bemidji.


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3 comments
Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

They should name it after Duluth native and war hero Richard I. Bong.   Maybe they could name it after former Duluth mayor Thomas J. Waterpipe

Whoknows
Whoknows

Was the writer stoned when he wrote this drivel piece?

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