Marcus Bachmann: Gay or Straight?
|Marcus looks gay in this picture.|
Specifically: Is this dude gay or what?
Marcus set off Cher's gaydar last week and before long #MarcusBachmannissogay was a trending topic on Twitter.
So is Marcus Bachmann a gay man who can't find his way out of the closet? Or is he really as manly as the First Dude Todd Palin, who has been known to hunt animals and ride a snow mobile, never while lisping.
Let's take a close look at the evidence.
The Case in Favor: Evidence Marcus Bachmann is gay
He's married to Michele Bachmann. Michele has a long, long history of living comfortably with lies. If Marcus wanted to live in the closet, he'd be hardpressed to find someone better at prolonged self-deception than Congresswoman Bachmann.
|This video sure seems gay--not that there's anything wrong with that|
The video evidence. Cher and others who question Dr. Bachmann's sexuality point to this video of Marcus mincing, lisping and generally flitting about like a one-man gay stereotype. If you haven't seen Marcus in action, take a look and see if it sets off your gaydar.
The Case Against: Evidence Marcus Bachmann is straight
He's married to Michele Bachmann. Even Michele's most ardent opponent admit she's a MILF. Indeed, she and Marcus have five kids, which means Marcus presumably had sex with her. Man having sex with a woman = heterosexual.
|Marcus Bachmann, world-renowned heterosexual.|
He called gay people "barbarians." To oppose gay marriage these days seems outdated. But referring to gays as "barbarians" who "must be disciplined" takes Dr. Bachmann to another level of intolerance. Or maybe it's just his weird gay role-playing fantasy.
With so much evidence going either way, the jury is still out. So we called the Bachmann campaign for comment to clarify once and for all if Marcus is gay or straight.
The campaign has not yet returned our phone call, but when we hear definitive word we will update this post with Marcus Bachmann's true sexual orientation.
- Marcus Bachmann, Mary Pawlenty named "First Mates" by Newsweek
- Bachmann's Christian clinic supported by Medicaid
- Cher thinks Marcus Bachmann is gay, wants to strangle him with her boa