Vikings cut Bryant McKinnie for being chronic fat-ass [UPDATE]

Categories: Vikings
bryant mckinnie.jpg
You'll be missed, Big Mac, especially by the bartenders and strippers.
Bryant McKinnie, a big man with big appetites -- of all kinds -- was cut this afternoon by the Vikings for being too damn big.

McKinnie had sort of fought a losing battle against his weight for years, and basically given up recently: He's listed at 335 pounds, but last year was closer to 360. McKinnie didn't take the lockout and offseason well, it seems, so Minnesota cut its former first-round draft pick who was due almost $5 million this year.

McKinnie's legacy will now be remembered by a poignant tweet, a giant bar tab and a pornographic police report.
Yesterday, McKinnie was placed on the "non-football injury" list -- football coach code for "too fat" -- according to the Star Tribune.

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After years of service, McKinnie's appetites got the best of him.
Big Mac, as his friends called him -- McDonald's employees called him "three Big Macs, super-sized" -- was a 6-foot-8, 330-pound human eclipse when he first came into the league, and was responsible for protecting Daunte Culpepper's and Brett Favre's blind sides. At that, he was hugely effective, at least until his feet slowed under his massive girth last year.

But he'll be perhaps better known for a couple of infamous moments off the field.

In October 2005, McKinnie was a central figure in the Vikings' infamous "Sex Boat" scandal. The party boat that toured Lake Minnetonka one autumn night was only gone for an hour, but that was plenty of time for Bryant to get busy, according to the complaint.

[Witnesses] reported that they saw a party that they recognized as Bryant McKinnie... pick up a naked woman, place her on the bar in the lounge area, and commence to perform oral sex on the woman.

[Witnesses] also reported that at a different time during the evening, they saw Mr. McKinnie along with three unidentified males receiving oral sex from four women while the men were seated in deck chairs on the boat.
In McKinnie's defense, picking up a stripper could have been part of his vigorous training routine.

Earlier this year, around the time the Packers were playing in the Super Bowl, McKinnie was getting ready for this year by buying enough champagne to run up a $100,000 bar tab at a Hollywood party for rapper Rick Ross.

And now? Now, he's morosely tweeting his goodbyes to Vikings fans.


We know it's been fun, Bryant. We've got the bill, and the police report to prove it.


UPDATE:

Bryant McKinnie told TMZ that leaving the Vikings was his idea. After the team put him on reserve, McKinnie decided he wanted to play elsewhere, and asked to be released from his contract.

McKinnie tells us, his agent put in word with the Vikings moments ago -- before they officially cut him loose -- asking honchos to release McKinnie... so he can sign with another team before next season.

McKinnie was placed on the reserve/non-injury list yesterday, after doctors said his cholesterol was too high and he had to lose weight -- but McKinnie tells us, "I'll definitely be ready for next season. That's not even a question."


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3 comments
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Lowones
Lowones

McKinnie was a load for the past three years.  His idea of blocking is to stand and push with his hands.  He was too lazy to move his feet and often just watched as defenders ran around him.  Good riddance.  We want people who actually have some pride and care about performance.

Bmac
Bmac

None of ya'll can 'preciate how tough it be to live da thug life, yo.  u think this be easy?  hoes be wanting to get down wit me all the time, yo.  sheet.  you don't know.  weed make a brotha hungry, know what im sayin?

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

Poor Bryant he was such a simple man.   All he wanted to do in life is hang out in a ton of strip clubs and not live up to his immense physical gifts.  Hopefully know he can focus on his true passion, acting like an idiot. 

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