Michele Bachmann: Read my lips: no taxes... at all

bachmann google debate.jpg
Michele Bachmann had a new tax plan for several seconds.
Michele Bachmann is in trouble. Her poll numbers have rolled off the cliff; she's reduced to filming campaign ads that look like dentist commercials; and lately most of the headlines containing her name also have the word "retardation" in them. She's not going to be president, ever.

Unless!--She triples the crazy and strips away all the reason that had been bogging her down before.

So at last night's Republican debate in Florida, Bachmann did just that, hurtling her campaign into the white-hot fires of madness in the hopes that she'll either burn up in an instant or be reborn from the ashes.

No compromises! she cried, and they cheered. No education! she cried, and they screamed with delight. No taxes! she said, and they went, "Huh?"


Actually, most of them just sat in stunned awe. A few audience members cheered, too, though it was hard to hear them over the sound of economists and sentient beings smashing up their television sets.

tea party question kid.jpg
Bachmann finally got to give her crazy answer to this kid's question.

The question, as put to Bachmann by Fox's Megyn Kelly, was a reference to a query from an earlier debate, which was the most popular question as chosen by online voters.

"The answer to his question,"  Kelly said," is a number. Out of every dollar I earn, how much do you think that I deserve to keep?"

Bachmann's answer was a truly astounding bit of... something. What do you call a gaffe when it's clearly a planned answer?

And after the debate, I talked to that young man, and I said I wish I could have answered that question, because I want to tell you what my answer is: I think you earned every dollar. You should get to keep every dollar that you earn. That's your money. That's not the government's money.

All right then. No taxes, at all. This is a new one, even for the modern Republican Party -- really, in the annals of human civilization. Bachmann continued:

That's the whole point. Barack Obama seems to think that when we earn money, it belongs to him and we're lucky just to keep a little bit of it. I don't think that at all. I think when people make money, it's their money.

bachmann eyes obama.jpg
Bachmann describes Obama tax plan like he's a back-alley mugger.
Okay, again, we're getting it. Even though Obama's current tax rate is actually the exact same one as Bachmann's hugging-buddy George W. Bush, he's trying to take nearly all of your money. But President Michele Bachmann disagrees. She doesn't want any of your money. Keep all of it. Every single dollar. Don't worry about the government, they'll figure something out. 

"Obviously," Bachmann continued, "we have to give money back to the government so that we can run the government."

Wait, what? So you keep all your money, you don't pay taxes, but you "have to give money  back"? If Al Gore's facility with numbers was supposed to be "fuzzy math," this should likely be called "itchy math," because if you think about it for any length of time, you'll have the sudden urge to scratch at your cerebral cortex.

Bachmann found herself in a tight spot, trying to reconcile these two views -- that the government can't have any of your money, but it needs you to "give money back." Her escape hatch? Simple, and strange flattery. 

We have to have a completely different mindset. And that mindset is, the American people are the genius of this economy. It certainly isn't government that's the genius.

No, Michele, it certainly isn't. Not while you're in it. 

Previously:


My Voice Nation Help
28 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest
al
al

Great idea, just impose user fees on EVERYTHING involving public property or government.   Need to call the city - a 1-900 number.   Need the starving rabble kept away from your property - you pay the local cops in cash.

A simple plan to raise money for the desperate flooded out people on the East Coast:Millionaires in Congress now work for a $1 per pay cycle.   $600,000 just won't cut it for that whiner, try $600,000 and no Congressional pay.

Lulz
Lulz

Oh noes the taxes, we should live in Somalia where there are no taxes, no government, no sanity.

tv-orange.de
tv-orange.de

Charles&David Koch gave a lot of money for "Think-Tanks". Bachman studied at an university. Let me say it with Dire Straits: Money for nothing.

Kyle Goodrich
Kyle Goodrich

Another day, another Michele Bachmann article.

cma cma
cma cma

"All right then. No taxes, at all. This is a new one, even for the modern Republican Party -- really, in the annals of human civilization. Bachmann continued:" Typical infantile Mike Mullen blog playing to his Demented Left audience. Bachmann never said "not taxes at all." That is a complete Mullen fabrication.  It speaks to the low level of City Pages "journolism" propaganda to print what readers know to be false. Anyone who saw the debate or reads the transcript is aware that Bachmann never said "No taxes at all."

jww
jww

It must have been a Michele Bachmann clone at the debate who said "I think you earned every dollar, you should get to keep every dollar that you earn. That's your money, that's not the government's money. That's the whole point. Barack Obama seems to think that when we earn money it belongs to him, and we're lucky just to keep a little bit of it. I don't think that at all. I think when people make money it's their money."

Kirk the Conservative Jerk
Kirk the Conservative Jerk

Demented in deed!

I think Mike Mullen knows that if Michele were to find out what he does to hisdog, she would deeply oppose.  Therefore, he must spin when he can.

Per the word on the street from Mike's elementary peeps, Mike was banned frombringing the hamster home.  Something unmentionable happened....

jww
jww

Why do your quips always involve either bestiality or sodomy?  On one hand, it's nice to see you at least make an attempt at humor.  On the other hand, this is just another way for you to expose what a demented pervert you really are.

EK
EK

If I were running for president, I'd tax the City Pages website for every mention of Michele Bachmann.  With the amount of money we'd raise, we could build a footbridge to Jupiter.

Real American
Real American

You would use tax dollars to build a bridge to Jupiter??!!! WHAT A WASTE!!!!11

I bet you would hire those sneaky Martian contractors to do it too, wouldn't you. WOULDN'T YOU!!!

Bianca
Bianca

How did she expect us to react when she said that statement? "OH NO TAXES? DEFINITELY VOTING BACHMANN NOW!" Lulzzz. Ron Paul 2012 yo!

yo banana boy
yo banana boy

We should get to keep all the money we earn. I believe she was trying to hype the Fair Tax position, although she's an idiotic inarticulate bitch that failed to get her point across.

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

If you don't want to pay taxes might I suggest you move to Somalia.   They have no taxes or government regulation.   No one should have to live under an oppressive regime like America where we collectively pay for things like cops, roads, and schools.   Who needs that crap?  Seriously you think like a very very stupid child.   When I was 6 I learned the lesson "you get what you pay for."    Isn't it amazing places with high taxes have high quality of life?   (Sweden, Minnesota)   Isn't it amazing that places with low taxes are unbelievable shit holes?   (Somalia, South Dakota, Alabama)    Instead of thinking of palindromes you should actually try to learn something.   Once again you show how smart you are by using sexism to make your point.  There is no bigger sign of intelligence than someone that feels the need to say something racist, homophobic or sexist in everything they say.   Congrats.

yo banana boy
yo banana boy

I never said I wouldn't pay taxes, they're necessary and proper provided we still need the public services afforded us. You don't even know what the Fair Tax is as it's not talked about in msm.

ludwigtr
ludwigtr

nah, now you're backpedaling banana boy.  MB got you.  I would rather live in Canada or Europe.  There i would be guaranteed healthcare, and their average lifespan is longer.... kind of proving that taxes funding healthcare is actually a positive thing.

Bilky
Bilky

See above. You just got served. Badly.

yo banana boy
yo banana boy

U.S., unfortunately, is still the best place in the world to live. So by your statement, places with higher taxes like Russia and China offer better places to live. You are really showing your intelligence.Hey sensitive, just so you know dykes call themselves dykes, and some bitches call themselves bitches. If you and others got hung up on increasing man's longetivity, not shortening it, and less time on political correctness we'd all be better off. Hopefully you're rebuttal contains more than just a put-down.

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

So how many people think banana boy has another screen name but in typical Republican fashion he was too dumb to change ids when he posted a comment giving himself a compliment?    Of course it could be that he is just that big of a loser that he knows no one else will cheer him on so he does it himself?    Which is it banana boy?  loser or lying loser?  

tweek
tweek

Tell that fool banana! Avatar Michelle Bachman must be battier than its idol!

yo banana boy
yo banana boy

I pointed out my mistake, unless you can't read. You didn't. I'd still rather live in US as we have a far better record of human rights.

I addressed the Fair Tax. You addressed the flat tax. Research the difference. Until then, just as you told me, you should stay out of the conversation.

Go take a nap, you're all cranky.

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

Heritage Foundation is a right wing think tank funded by noted liars the Koch Brothers.  Any information from that organization is highly dubious since its partisan.   Also because you are a very stupid person you reduce yourself to lying and spinning.     You were advocating for the "flat tax" while slamming Russia for having high taxes.   I proved you wrong by pointing out Russia has a flat tax on income.   This makes you stupid and a liar.   We both know you pulled your numbers out of your ass.   That's why you didn't cite actual numbers in your first post, you were just making it up.  Once you were caught in a lie you did what all stupid right wingers do and you found a highly dubious source of "facts" that would fit your argument.  Also like a typical right winger you made yourself look stupid in your argument.   In your original post you said "U.S., unfortunately, is still the best place in the world to live. So by your statement, places with higher taxes like Russia and China offer better places to live. You are really showing your intelligence."   then in your next post you point out "according to Heritage Foundation total tax revenue as % of gdp: china 17%, us 26.9%, russia 37%"   This is further proof you are pulling stuff out of your ass and making it up as China doesn't have higher taxes than the US.   Apologize for being stupid, furthermore don't post in the future if you are just going to lie and make stuff up.  

yo banana boy
yo banana boy

Whoa, calm down Michelle. Turns out we're both half right: according to Heritage Foundation total tax revenue as % of gdp: china 17%, us 26.9%, russia 37%. Also, if I was a commie why would I watch Fox news. Maybe you should apologize to the board for being an idiot. You also never addressed your sensitivity issue. But I guess Anoka gay bullying is more pressing than a fix it solution for the Federal Reserve debacle.

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

Now you have to admit you are stupid and apologize to the comment section for making things up banana boy.  

Russia has a uniform tax rate on individuals at 13% on most income.   So if we follow your stupid plan we can enjoy the quality of life of a place like Russia.  You stupid commie bastard. 

China has a progressive tax on individual income which may be the reason China has had a decade of growth propelling it to the status of world power as the United States languishes.  

Admit to everyone you know nothing and are a very stupid person.   All my facts are from the first few results of google.   See complete fucking idiots like you don't realize smart people like me can easily check your bullshit.   Admit you pulled your nonsense out of your ass and you made it up.   Also, people that pull shit out of their ass are annoying.  Please be respectful of others by not lying and making stuff up or fuck off and go to the Fox News board.  No one gives a shit about facts over there. 

PUMABydesign001
PUMABydesign001

Michele Bachmann is much better than the Progressive slime tearing this country apart.  Btw, the author of this article is nothing more than a propaganda tool for Marxists.  Can it be they're looking for a bailout?

Bilky
Bilky

Nice incoherent thoughts there, Puma. Good stuff.

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

Progressives aren't the ones that booed a deployed solider asshole.    So far at the debates Republicans have cheered death twice and booed an American solider who was in Iraq.   What makes Progressives slime again?   Was it when Obama had Osama Bin Laden shot in the eye?  

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

Good one on the turdburglar.   I first hear that one in third grade.   Of course everyone knows that it means when conservatives have gay sex on the mind all the time.   I bet you dislike it when your wide stance doesn't get noticed in the airport bathroom huh? 

Now Trending

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Loading...