Occupy MN: Vikings punter Chris Kluwe voices solidarity with 99 percent

Chris Kluwe appreciates porn stars, political protest.
Chris Kluwe is the Vikings' lovably off-the-wall punter, who is best known for his love of World of Warcraft and his bass playing for local metal band Tripping Icarus. When he puts on the pads and helmet, he's also a pretty good punter.

But now Kluwe's added another dimension to his varied repertoire. As of this morning's Pioneer Press, he's also an outspoken political thinker.

Talking with sports columnist Bob Sansevere, Kluwe first had to expand on a tweet which made a rather inarguable point about porn stars. But the more interesting quotes came when Kluwe was asked how he felt about the world in general.

"There's a very solid social inequality going on right now in terms of distribution of wealth," Kluwe said. "And I'd like to apologize for the rest of the 1 percent, as one of the 1 percent."

First, because we know how you people think, and we've already piqued your curiosity, let's get the porn star part out of the way.

Kluwe's tweet was in response to an ongoing controversy over New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, who was spotted in a Twitter picture with adult film actress Bibi Jones. (That picture is making the rounds on the internet; for those curious, feel free to Google "Gronkowski," though you should only search Ms. Jones' name if you feel like getting fired.) Jones took advantage of her moment in the spotlight, explaining that she'd had flings with several married athletes, though pointing out she'd only spent a bit of time with Gronkowski.

After the controversy roiled for a few days, Kluwe decided he'd heard enough, and added his own commentary to the situation:

What's the big deal about Gronkowski taking a picture with a porn actress? They're people, and fans, too. #judgenotlestyebejudgedamirite
Oct 27 via EchofonFavoriteRetweetReply

Kluwe followed this immediately with a reminder that he's married, and probably will not be appearing in any of Ms. Jones's upcoming pictures or films.

"I'll 'fine' your ass if you take a picture with a porn star." -- My wife. She's saucy. #donthurtmepleaseididntmeanit
Oct 27 via EchofonFavoriteRetweetReply

So, yeah, there's that. Tweets like that are going to get you a phone call from someone like Bob Sansevere, who knows a funny story when he sees one.

occupy tent city.jpg
Occupy MN: Is it okay if Chris practices his bass and punting technique at the tent city?
But! They only talked about porn for a few seconds (at least on the record, wink wink, nudge nudge) and were soon off to other subjects. Without prompt, Kluwe turned the conversation political, saying he's in favor of the Occupy Wall Street protest.

When Sansevere asked what Kluwe would do if there was an "Occupy Vikings" movement, the bass-playing, video-game-playing punter's answer is blunt:

"I will join them," Kluwe said, going on to add, "I will be out there picketing. We will write a song for them."

As it turns out, Tripping Icarus is already coming out with a new song that Kluwe hopes will resonate with the Occupy movement. With lyrics like the ones Kluwe offers -- the words "recession," "banker scum," and "occupy" are all there -- it sounds like Kluwe's about to get himself in hot water with his fellow NFL millionaires, to say nothing of team owner Zygi Wilf.

Chris Kluwe: 1 percent by income, 99 percent by philosophy, No. 4 in your programs, No. 1 in your hearts.

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Unless his band is WAY more profitable than we think, there's no way Kluwe is in the 1% .

Ed Kohler
Ed Kohler

I wonder how he feels about the 99% being forced to subsidize the stadium construction costs for the 1% of Minnesotans who hold season tickets?


You're thinking the top 10% of the 1% which exponentially shadows even most of the 1%. Really its the 99.9% versus the .01% in the country.

Jeremy B
Jeremy B

I don't think you understand how those percentages translate into annual income. It goes something like this:Top 1%: $380,354Top 5%: $159,619Top 10%: $113,799(These are supposedly the IRS's 2010 numbers; admittedly, I'm not putting a lot of effort into making sure these are 100% accurate. I know from reading a lot of articles about income trends that those numbers are close enough.)

Kluwe is pulling in around $1.18 million this year, well above the minimum to count as The 1%. (Source: at least two websites list the same amount. I'm going with it.)

To compare, the median income in the US is right around $50K. If you make more than that, congrats! Those rose-colored glasses were undoubtedly well-earned.

Side note: Kluwe gets me all hot and bothered, sexy beast that he is, but in general this is what pisses me off about the Vikings' whining about a stadium. They can damn well afford it on their own, but why would they when they can make an emotional appeal and oblige us to cover a chunk of it? This is really, really not what tax dollars should be spent on.

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