Ryan Longwell is sorry he didn't make a 30-point field goal last night

Ryan Longwell is sorry he cost the Vikings 3 points in a blowout.

​Vikings kicker Ryan Longwell had a bad night last night, and now he's apologizing for a missed field goal just before halftime. Had Longwell made that field goal, the Vikings would not have lost 39-10, which is awful. Instead, they would've lost by a respectable 39-13, and given Vikes fans hope for the team's inevitable turnaround.

Longwell is absolutely distraught that he couldn't perform the football equivalent of throwing a glass of water off the already-sinking Titanic.

Coach Leslie Frazier also expressed disappointment to reporters today, saying the team felt like Longwell's missed field goal was a real opportunity to put points on the board.

Are they really talking about last night's game? The one where the Vikings' hopes vanished in a flash, leaving only Devin Hester's footprints as evidence of a once-great organization? And we're talking about a field goal?

Longwell admirably owned up to his blunder, in which he badly hooked a 33-yard attempt in the second quarter, with the Vikings already trailing 23-3. But, as the Pioneer Press helpfully points out, the field goal "would have pulled the Vikings within 23-6."

Yes. And then what?

Anyway, Longwell says it's all his fault, and doesn't blame the "mayhem" -- "maheym," Pioneer Press? -- of Michael Jenkins' false start that pushed the ball back five yards.

"Because of the cross wind, I was aiming for the right upright," Longwell said, "The snap and the hold were fine. I didn't even come close."
 

Devin Hester is running faster than you even when he stands still.

​Putting it bluntly, Longwell said, "I just missed it." (Hey, Ryan while we're all being honest, is there anything you'd like to tell us about Donovan McNabb?)

Longwell had converted on his first 10 field goals this season, and had a streak of 16 straight successes dating back to last year. Now he's missed his last two attempts, which would be a really troubling statistic if the Vikings weren't 1-5 and DFL in the NFC North Division.

In a sly allusion to even more Longwell-based problems, the PiPress also made note of Devin Hester's now-you-see-him-WHOOSH kickoff return. Hester has victimized half the league with that speed, and has now bolted into the endzone four times against the Vikings.

But last night's was particularly devastating, you see, because the Vikings had just scored to make the score 26-10, and had, the PiPress reports, "momentum." But Longwell's kick "was just short of the goal line," so of course Devin Hester ran 98 yards without anyone touching him and scored. This, also, is Ryan Longwell's fault.

Hey, Ryan, how come you didn't just run up behind Devin Hester and take the ball back and then score a touchdown and then do that two more times? Geez, Ryan!

Ryan Longwell has the most appropriate last name in NFL kicking history. But he has sullied that name with his performance, and Vikings fans shan't forget such grievances for at least a fortnight.

The only way Longwell could make up for that missed field goal is if he smashes his kickoff against the Packers really, really hard into Aaron Rodger's throwing arm.