US Bank announces record profits

Categories: Business
us bank logo.jpg
US Bank has enough money to buy five stars -- and a small planet.
Hey, all you Occupy Wall Street and Occupy MN kids, can you keep it down for a minute? US Bank is trying to count its money, and you're distracting them.

Exhibiting the best worst timing of this young decade, US Bank reported its third quarter profits today. Apparently, despite a tanking economy, the constant doubt in global markets, and a rapidly spreading movement of protest against the banking system... US Bank is absolutely rolling in it.

Setting a new record for profits, US Bancorp raked in $1.273 billion in profit last quarter. Maybe they saw that Occupy MN had about $6,000 cash on hand and thought, "We'll show those punks. We throw $6,000 in our marble fireplaces every night."

The Minneapolis-based bankers are pretty pleased with themselves, explaining in their press release that their profits last quarter are "40.2 percent higher than the $908 million for the third quarter of 2010 and 5.8 percent higher than the $1,203 million for the second quarter of 2011." Basically, US Bank, recalling the best performances of Michael Jordan, just put this game away by scoring 1.2 billion points in the third quarter.

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Richard K. Davis: The "K" stands for "Keep it down, peasant protesters."
Also like MJ, they're not above a little smack talk. Or at least, the banker-speak version of that. President and CEO Richard K. Davis is quoted excitedly patting US Bank on the back for making the last available money in this Godforsaken country.

"I am exceptionally proud," Davis said, "of our third quarter results, as our Company was able to achieve record earnings in what many would describe as a difficult and uncertain economic environment."

You can just tell that Davis says the word "company" in such a way that it deserves a capital letter. And yes, "many" would describe this as a "difficult...economic environment." They're called regular people.

Some of them have accounts with you at US Bank, or they used to, when they had something to put in there. Now they just wander the lobby aimlessly, occasionally asking the bank teller if there's any good news.

US Bank: We are the 1 percent.


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12 comments
I hate lib tards
I hate lib tards

yes please can we blame the banks...i mean they are the reason that......1.) I cant get a job2.) That I live on welfare3.) That I got into a mortgage I cant afford4.) That I would rather sit around occupying streets then to look for ANY kind of worklist goes on and on but to sum it up

I enjoy being an uneducated libtard that has nothing better to do then complain about shit that.. oohhh wait.....I HAVE CONTROL OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IMC
IMC

The press release shows that they made $1.27 million in 3Q 2011. Not billion.

Trademark Lawyer
Trademark Lawyer

U.S. Bancorp, the holding company for U.S. Bank, has reported net income grew 40.2 percent to $1.27 billion in the quarter ended Sept. 30, up from $908 million in the same period last year. The profit jump came on a 4.5 percent revenue increase over Q3 2010, from $4.59 billion to $4.79 billion.

Jeff Skrenes
Jeff Skrenes

I don't get it...why is profit a bad thing?  What specifically should US Bank be doing differently?  In general, I sympathize with the whole "occupy" movement, but this article is disappointingly simplistic.  Give us more to chew on than the simple formula of "Banks + profit = bad."

Warren G. Buffett
Warren G. Buffett

Its pretty short-sighted to think that US Bank makes all their money off of retail banking.

It should be viewed as a positive economic trend to see a bank post a year to year profit increase. A loosening credit market means increased borrowing, resulting in, dare I say, profit.

10% unemployment still means that 90% of the population has a job and is therefore making money.

Mike Mullen
Mike Mullen

The point is this: Banks now exist outside of, or perhaps in spite of, the American economy. Wouldn't you hope that banks making record profits would indicate that America is thriving? Well, they are making record profits. We are not thriving. Got it now?

Context
Context

Not every article has to explain the entire, complex context in which it's written. 

That context being: banks defrauded the world with fraudulent investments, defrauded the world's governments and people asking for bailouts when those frauds were exposed, effectively stealing from everyone's pockets by printing money as fast as they can, and they continue their thieving practices to this day, all the while adding all sorts of fees claiming they're not making enough money.

 These large banks have in general become a cancer to our economy rather than a facilitator.  Record profits are an indicator of this.

jp
jp

what do you want them to do mike, write you a check?  maybe then we'll thrive.  or should we adopt a completely socialist way of life?  let's redistribute everything!!!!!!

Jim
Jim

Banks don't print money.  The Federal Reserve does.

Sparky
Sparky

Except that US Bank took only the minimum TARP money that the Feds forced them to, paid it back 100% in 90 days (over the objections of the Feds who wanted to establish control over USB) and are known to not charge onerous retail banking fees or practice predatory lending.

jp
jp

yeah, that's a great idea.  let's try to tell people how much money they can make.  typical liberal.  your ridiculous statement reminds me of a quote, "liberals want to change the world, and use other people's money to do it."  who are you to say that someone can't make a "ridiculous bonus"?  set your sights a little higher and don't depend on someone else to help you out.  tax them more?  why don't we tax you more?  tax all of us more, that's the answer to everything!  if you want communism, go elsewhere.

ericbwoo
ericbwoo

Tax them more.  My main issue with these record profits is that it shows how much is being extracted from the economy for the sake of... breaking records? The head bankers then get ridiculous bonuses, more than they will spend, much just sitting in investments.  Now the rest of the country has less money to fight over.  Makes me thing this is why inflation is so low.   

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