John Kline is addicted to voting in Congress

Jonh Kline has a perfect attendance record. Total nerd, right?

​Congressman John Kline sure has a funny way of being a U.S. Representative.

Kline has taken a bizarre approach to his job, as unveiled yesterday by the New York Times. It seems that Kline and several other members of congress have repeatedly shown up inside the U.S. Capitol, and then managed to find their way to the floor of the House. Then, some claim, they participate in some sort of archaic ritual, in which members of congress discuss, and then vote on matters of national policy.

Speculation has it that these people think such activity is part of their job.

Michele Bachmann, Kline's fellow Minnesota Republican, is doing her best to lead by example. The only U.S. Reps who vote less often than Bachmann both have a serious physical illness. 

Bachmann's illness, well-documented around these parts, is that she's worried sick about America. At the moment, she's self-medicating with a fledgling run for the presidency.

Michele Bachmann is just ahead of the guy with colon cancer.

​The other two absentee members of congress, as the Times reports, have damn good reasons not to be around the Capitol. Gabrielle Giffords, the Arizona Congresswoman who was the target of a murderous rampage, has missed 98.5 percent of votes this year. New Yorker Maurice Hinchey has missed the second most votes, and his absence can be blamed on treatments for colon cancer, which he disclosed in April.

With 27.1 percent of votes missed, Hinchey is actually just behind Bachmann, who's third-worst at 26 percent. Boy, that ought to be her campaign slogan: "Michele Bachmann: I work just a little bit more often than the guy with colon cancer."

Minneapolis' rep Keith Ellison also makes the list, ranking 11th from bottom at 11.3 percent of votes missed. Ellison's voting rate is blamed on his knee injury, which he suffered while working out in the House gym and forced Ellison to go under the knife back in July.

With a perfect voting record, Kline is, sadly, in rare company. Only 15 members of Congress -- four Democrats and 11 Republicans -- give enough of a damn about their job and this country to have show up for each of the 814 votes this year.

With Kline included, the "Gang of 15" are an otherwise nondescript group, and grab a lot less headline space and cable news screen time than the people who don't post.

Good God. What's wrong with them? Won't somebody help these poor people?

Is there anything in Obamacare that cures people who actually care about something?