Tim Pawlenty is the least influential person alive, according to GQ

Categories: T-Paw

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Tim Pawlenty: So obscure, it's not even funny.
Hey everybody, check it out: Tim Pawlenty came in first place at something.

Our former governor took the number-one spot in GQ's list of the top 25 least influential people on planet earth, right up there with Hank Williams Jr., MSNBC's Ed Schultz, and our own Marcus Bachmann.

The writers at GQ had some pretty harsh words for Pawlenty and his failed presidential aspirations. According to the article, Pawlenty's campaign was so pointless, he didn't even register in the ridiculous-but-hilarious "Sharpton Sector" of candidates. From GQ:

T-Paw (as he calls himself) spent much of 2011 as a six-foot-tall paperweight, an aggressively forgettable fellow perfectly suited to the role of debate filler. The $1 million he spent to lose the Iowa straw poll might as well have been burned in front of a group of orphans.

Ouch.

That's probably not the legacy Pawlenty was aiming for. But then again, this could end up being the best thing that ever happened to him. The least influential human being alive is bound to attract a cult following. Think of it as the "Ed Wood Sector."

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Marcus Bachmann ranks #19 on GQ's list.
As for Marcus Bachmann, the people at GQ apparently aren't impressed with the way he makes a living. Bachmann comes in at number 19, right between Tila Tequila and model/actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Here's what they had to say about him:

While his beard wife was running around trying to gather enough votes from crazy shitheads to become president, Marcus spent his 2011 being a political prop and running Bachmann & Associates, a small business that provides "reparative therapy" to gay folks who just can't seem to get those pesky gay thoughts out of their heads. Marcus makes this list because the entire area of "reparative therapy" is fundamentally absent of influence, since making a gay person not gay isn't possible.

It's at least comforting to see that Minnesota is finally getting some recognition for its lack of influence.

Update [11:30 a.m.]:
It looks like GQ wasn't always so down on Pawlenty. Politico's Ben Smith has published an email on his blog from a GQ reporter to a Pawlenty aide. In May, the reporter was trying to set up an interview with Pawlenty, citing that he is "among the most serious candidates, not to mention one that the readership of the magazine should know more about." Read the full email on Smith's blog.



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3 comments
Melinda
Melinda

Your list of the top 25 least influential people on planet earth are simply significant and can be truly at the top so why are so shocked? Were in you made quite a great article for people to read.  Facts like this are things that I am fun to know and discovered. Melinda My blog :  http://www.rangebouteille.net

Carmen Devore-Blakestad
Carmen Devore-Blakestad

HAHAHA!!!  FINALLY someone is saying in the national forum what I've been telling everybody for years!!  Go GQ!!  Ya got it so right!!!

Mark Gisleson
Mark Gisleson

Good ol' Gov. Bridgefail. Despite his Catholic/evangelical background, I've always thought of him in more Yiddish terms. For eight very long years Pawlenty was the schlemiel who kept spilling soup on Minnesota, making Minnesota into the world's biggest schlimazel.

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