Legendary North Dakota: Top 8 Reasons No-Dak Is So Damn Sexy!

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North Dakota has a bar and three women. Legendary.
By now, you've no doubt heard about North Dakota's new "Legendary" ad campaign, which markets No-Dak as a state of skanks ready to have sex with any Tucker Max-clone willing to sit in a window and drink beer.

But that's not the only thing Legendary about North Dakota. You don't get a nationwide reputation as The Sexiest State in the Union just by rounding up three trollops in pastel dresses willing to stand outside the window of the only beer garden in town.

Which is why the North Dakota Tourism Board has taken the logical next step in its marketing campaign and released this list of the sexiest, most erotic -- dare we say, "Legendary?" -- sights to see in North Dakota.

8. Men From No-Dak Go Tanning in Banana Hammocks
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Forget Jersey Shore, North Dakotans are the masters of GTL, as this sign in Jamestown, ND, makes clear. Just look at the blue banana hammock on that buff No-Dak stud, who is clearly about to get freaky from behind with a J-Woww lookalike. Indeed, this may be the most "legendary" tanning sign on the Internet. Just one piece of advice: if you plan to visit in January, you might want to bundle up a bit more, lest you end up with a frozen banana.

7. Candy is Dandy, But Liquor is Quicker
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Lookin' for a party? The No-Daks know how to have a legendarily good time. So legendary, in fact, that it lands them in jail more often than anywhere else in country. According to the CDC, North Dakota leads the nation in number of DUI arrests. They've also got the rest of the union beat in rates of binge and underage drinking. Maybe averaging five drinks or more in one sitting is considered legendary in Connecticut -- in North Dakota, that's called Tuesday.

6. In North Dakota, It's Always Raining Men

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Cosmopolitan
Sex in the City? How about Sex in the Corn Field! When Cosmo recently went looking for eligible bachelors, it found some No-Dak hunks. There's Jesse Regan, who likes when you call him with your problems and--according to his ex--still needs some work. Or Andy DeGidio, who says about himself: "I'm not the craziest guy out there, but I'm not the most reserved." No wonder he's so Legendary!

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19 comments
Chris
Chris

I'll agree that taking shots at North Dakota is way to easy. At the same time, judging by all these comments, folks from ND need to learn how to relax a little and take a joke.

Lothar
Lothar

Cute. You do realize that everyone else in the country, if they have any reason to think of either NoDak or Minnesota (or Wisconsin, SoDak, Nebraska, etc.), thinks of them as residents of the same huge frozen cowpie somewhere north of Chicago, right?  Anybody anywhere up there writing snarky articles about their neighbors is just kinda ... ummm ... sad. 

Nada
Nada

NoDak has nothing to be ashamed of--the western part, including Theodore Roosevelt National Park, is more wild and attractive than most of Minnesota--except for its completely backwards stance on abortion, women's rights, education, and government. That said, it's as cheap a shot to pick on NoDak as it is to lure readers to click the page with this headline.

DengHoo
DengHoo

Sounds like a plan to me dude.www.Total-Privacy dot US

Gkullen
Gkullen

Jeoulousy will always cause dipshits to throw stones. North Dakota is one of the few (maybe only?) state not in the red, has little crime, and the housing market has stayed relatively stable. MN can't say as much. I am MN born and raised, but attended UND. I can tell you it would be impossible to find te kind of good, salt of the earth people like there are in Nodak. I can picture the long haired, hippie, liberal moron living in aa Uptown apartment or maybe mom's house that wrote this, thinking he is so clever. Jokes on you fool.

Sexy Moma
Sexy Moma

More No-Dak jokes - nothing new.  Hope people look between your lines to see all the exciting things going on in North Dakota!  I personally know the proprietor of Sexy by The Pound.  I hope everyone reading citypages goes to her web site www.sexybythepound.com to read her bio and browse her catalog.  It takes an entipenour to turn a dream into reality!

chubbycheese
chubbycheese

really?...We measure sexy by the pound because of one store? Like there aren't any other ones somewhere in the nation? Most of these are more than a little off base.

ND Resident.

El Feo
El Feo

Long, long ago, when the IDS tower was the only building visible over the tree tops and MPLS was calling itself the Minneapple, Strib held a contest for best nickname for MN. The winner: East Dakota!

Even Pay
Even Pay

Wow, you talked about ND oil boom and didn't even mention "fracking" -- it's just too easy. - a South Dakotan

Butthurt
Butthurt

The writer sounds a little butthurt.  Article could have been funny but instead showed how uninformed and ignorant they really are.  Oh well, hope your mom keeps the basement warm when you write these :)

dnflag
dnflag

This seems like pretty easy pickings.  As one of the college grads that left, I am aware of my home state's shortcomings.  But to make fun of it is too easy.  The lack of entertainment and population are glaring.  The DUI problem persistent, and not very funny.  The new state ad is also laughable, but this article's tone is too much.  As a paper that continuously looks to defend those without a voice, I expect better writing from City Pages. 

Roxadelphi
Roxadelphi

Ohhhh way to funny.... I'm originally from there, but have called Minnesota home for the last 20+ years. Loved this article and it's soooo true, loved the chuckles :) Thanks

Mungo
Mungo

It's "trollop," dipshits.  A North Dakotan would know that.  

Kayla
Kayla

The large cow is actually from New Salem, NoDak, not Salem.  Legen...Dary

bsb
bsb

The ND state capitol is not even close to being the nation's most phallic. That title goes to Nebraska, whose building is referred to by many as "the penis of the plains."

laxx1559
laxx1559

@Nada lmao, THATS all NoDak has on us? You can have that one.  

Michelle Bachmann
Michelle Bachmann

Long haired hippies are what makes a place fun to live. They bring in things like bands, art, and colorado medical weed.    North Dakota is filled with boring rednecks like you that think Minnesota has a crime problem.   The only nice thing to ever come out of North Dakota is I-94. 

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