Marcus Bachmann's clinics still practicing ex-gay therapy, says new undercover report

 Hugglez24 We reported what happened in the office of Bachmann Clinic at GAY USA the Movie. We stand 100% by our report. It can be found on our website,. This was done for the Film GAY USA he Movie. The release is 9/2012. .

Many other outlets picked up our report and we have no control over how they chose to report the events. Bachmann Clinic was the target.

Mrs. Marker was a mere conduit. But her daughter came on and blew this up thereby exposing herself to the comments of others, not just here but all over the internet, and people contacted us directly and revealed their stories  which I have NEVER published and have no interest in publishing.  

Erika came on line and slandered our production and us personally, 

 Erika herself came on line and said she was sent  for an ex-gay cure- see TWO site..  She should have realized that she made herself and her mother a target when she went on all major sites declaring she was GAY and "fully accepted by her mother." She chose to insert herself. No one else's doing. 

After Erika  Marker revealed herself in comments online, - we sent her about 4 emails plus online comments asking her to contact us directly and offered for her to be on GAY uSA the Movie - to come and be part of the Movie to talk about her experience with her mother accepting her as a lesbian - but she has chosen to ignore us. 

So yes we agree with you Hugglez24 - that would be nice - but she has refused to acknowledge our private emails and instead opted for an online attack.  

My integrity is perfectly intact, thank you- especially with my community which knows the extent of my work and commitment to LGBTI equality and I invite you to check out the extent of my personal commitment to LGBT rights at my Blog at www.oblogdeeoblogda.wordpress.... and at www.visualcv.com/melnathan   By the way unlike those working at Bachmann - all my work has been pro bono and I make no money doing this at all.

sounds to me like you are spreading gossip, first about Sheila and now about Erica. do you know what gossip is melanie? Gossip is idle talk or rumors about the personal or private affairs of others. until you release the audio of the therapy session, logically, it is just idle talk from you. And until you talk to Erica herself about her and her mother's past, logically, it is just rumors. I feel you are doing an injustice to our community. one, you are alienating someone from the community and her family, who, although her mom is not ready to lead the march for marriage equality, obviously has grown to love and accept her daughter and her sexuality. two, sheila is obviously not the woman you are portraying her to be and that in itself weakens any argument from you.  honestly, if anything, instead of ostracizing the girl and chiding her mother, you should be looking to them for input about how her and her family have overcome these religious obstructions to true love and equality. they have first hand knowledge of both sides of the struggle..... also, while i do not know Erica personally, I am from the area and would just like to stress to you the way people like to gossip about each other and (for lack of a better phrase) just straight up talk shit about others in the community. the people that are telling you all that shit are most likely misrepresenting her to you, much like your misrepresentation of her mother.... Also, in my humble opinion, you are not helping the integrity of your work or the film (which is a great idea and needed in our country) by first eliciting gossip from some anonymous person who, probably doesn't even know the girl personally, and then touting to the internet about how you have all that gossip and it is so difficult not to tell everyone.... 

 Melanie, why keep touting about the film release? regardless of what you put in it, you should still release the video in its un-cut entirety. this whole thing is way off topic, the topic is the so called therapy. let us know what was really said and there would be nothing to argue about. it would be black and white.

Erika is trying to rewrite history.  the lesbian community is quite small in mpls and lakeville and many of us remember your drunken rants about your family's horrendous treatment of you because you were gay, like being sent to ex-gay camp.  That is great news if this has all changed!  But neither you nor your mom is the victim.  The true victims are the young people in this country who are made to feel ashamed, who are told or led to believe there is something innately wrong with them.  That is the true crime your mother and others like her commit on a daily basis.  I am sure your mom is a great person, but like so many others she adheres to the 'love the sinner hate the sin' mentality which is not only absurd but can be quite harmful since there is an automatic belief that there is something wrong with being yourself - gay or straight and that it is simply a choice.  Erika instead of spending all your time on websites posting the same things over and over again, talk to your mom, have your friends talk to your mom about the real harms her thinking can cause.  No real and decent therapist or counselor would ever let people deny a part of themselves or feel shame.    

It is very nice to see that Ms. Marker went on her Facebook page and rallied her friends and family to defend her mother  on the one hand that is what all good daughters should do. But unfortunately Ms. marker and firnds clearly have no idea what this means to the gay community - We are not the first to expose the Bachmann Clinic. 

Both Kristina and I are not interested in fame or money. We have spent all our personal resources making this film - for two years now - and it has been heart wrenching to watch the struggles of gay kids, talk to moms whose kids have committed suicide, speak to Americans who are living in  exile because they cannot bring a same-sex spouse into America because of the discrimination imposed by DOMA. We are doing this because we believe in equality and at the base of equality is acceptance - that if I am gay - it is okay! That is what Sheila Marker and all at Bachmann should be telling their clients when faced with options such as I have a fiance but I am not attracted to him - I felt true love for a woman.  They should not choose even for the commitment of a fiance - that is inserting personal belief into a session. She should have explored both options equally and not prayed the "desire" away.  It denoted unacceptance to a confused person who needs therapy - real therapy - to reach conclusions. Prayer is for Church and priests. Christina did not choose a Church! She wanted to hear options Marker say - maybe you should reconsider this marriage if you are gay. But Marker could not accept the gay part!

In other words therapy should trump religion even in a Christian counseling center . If it does not then  tax payer money should not be used.

All interpretations of the original article were out of our control at GAYUSA the Movie, but clearly fed off the Bachmann clinic reputation.

Until Ms. Marker came on line and exposed her family, touting that she had once had an experience with "cure" the gay stuff,  (see comments on truth Wins Out) no one would have cared less about Sheila Marker herself- all people cared about as can be seen from thousands of comments on the internet is the Bachmanns. Yes, bad choice by the mom of a lesbian daughter to work for the clinic. Sorry that happened to you Ms. Marker and even more sorry that yu too have been the subject of cure gay practices as you noted on Truth Wins Out.  That said it is time for you and your friends to back out of this as you are bringing attention to your mother instead of the Clinic per se. Your mother was never the target as can be clearly seen from my original article reporting this event. 

We have done our job - what we set out to do for the film. If we decide to include this in the film which will be released in September 2012, then you will have a chance to see it for yourself. In the meantime we are onto the next State and I might add very little of the film is sensationalist - it is just story after story ABOUT UNFAIRNESS AND DISCRIMINATION IN  AMERICA.  I hope you are voting against the Constitutional Amendment in your State! Melanie Nathan from GAY USA the Movie

So if your Catholic does that make you a pedophile? The Bachmanns may be trying to be the anti gay police but don't dump that on anyone else until you have proof. This sounds like a witch hunt of a Christian counselor who has a very deep love in her savior and is caring and compassionate. I am a member of the LGBTQ community and see this as an embarrassment. 

Funny how Marcus Bachmann's surrogates are sent to do battle in this comments thread, while Marcus himself stays away.

Sheila Marker, lovely Christian woman by all accounts, specializes in pre-martial women's counseling. In the comments we have her daughter and her partner who are living together, but the partner hadn't met the Sheila until after the u-haul shackup?Sheila sounds really good at counseling people. Her own family? Not so much.In closing, the Bachmanns suck. He's gay, she's retarded.

Having read this article I feel sad, disappointed, and disheartened.  As a family friend of the Marker's, I personally know Sheila to be a kind, generous, loving woman who openly accepts each individual for who they are and how they behave. Having been through some tough personal situations myself, I know that Sheila is the type of woman who doesn't press her personal beliefs upon others. Not once has she EVER told me to pray anything away. Not once has she EVER made me feel as if my lack of religion makes me an inferior human being. Not once has she EVER tried to impress upon me her personal, spiritual, or christian opinions. 

As it has been pointed out in previous comments, Sheila works at a Christian Counseling Clinic. Ms. Lapinski went to a Christian counseling center and told her professional therapist lies in order to solicit quips that she hoped would be news worthy. I am not sure how she can extrapolate from the fragmented phrases mentioned above that Sheila was trying to "pray away the gay." No marriage counsellor is going to tell their patient to give up or to turn their back on hard, emotional, relationship work. The point of counseling is to work through the tough times and into a place where the couple can be happy both as individuals and as part of a team. The statements quoted in the article seem to me as if Sheila was playing the Devil's advocate saying hypothetically "how can you know for sure if you haven't tried?" She is not saying you must do this or you must do that. She is not saying that "desire" in regards to a same sex relationship is the issue with Ms. Lapinski. It seems to me that having that "desire" to be with someone other than your partner in the first place is the piece that she is questioning. I am not a therapist, but I am sure that regardless of faith or beliefs, most marriage counsellors are going to endorse having a monogamous relationship which is why Sheila prayed (remember she DOES work at a Christian Counseling Clinic) to help Ms. Lapinski overcome her "desire" and have a satisfying relationship with her fiancé. 

It is people like Ms. Lapinski who are so narrow minded, so bent on finding flaws in the system, so tied up in exposing the "truth" that they end up spinning a story based on a half truths, partial quotes, and outright slanderous statements. Sheila's picture is posted, her life's work has been questioned, and she has been deceived and lied to. Put yourself in her shoes and re-read the article and what it implies with the sparse evidence that Ms. Lapinski provides. She probably had not done her homework and had no idea that Sheila herself has a daughter that is openly lesbian. She probably has no idea that Sheila goes through her daily life acting upon the best wishes of others instead of looking at the world through her own beliefs. If anything, Sheila has the ability to empathize with anyone; to understand their situation and to feel as they feel. It is this innate ability that she possesses that makes her an excellent therapist. She is supportive but not judgmental, she is kind but she is firm, she is honest but still kind, and she always, ALWAYS, looks at the world as having the glass half full. If she wants to pray to her Lord on behalf of something that you imply while asking for help and guidance why wouldn't she do that and how does it hurt you? She's not making you pray, she's not making you suffer. You sought her out, you paid her money, and you asked for help from a woman (at a Christian Counseling Clinic) that believes that her God helps those that ask for it. Obviously she is going to pray for guidance. 

You, Ms. Lapinski, are manipulative, cruel, and slanderous. Shame on you for trying to ruin this poor woman's life. 

If Kristina Lapinski's hit piece was intended to reenforce the idea that Marcus Bachmann is secretly an "ex-gay therapy" center, it had the very opposite effect on me.  I was actually under the impression that it was until I read this depiction of Sheila Marker (a person I know not to be, in any way, anti-gay) and the ugly picture they tried to paint of her.

What it revealed to me was that people like Miss Lapinski are such anti-religious bigots that they view commonplace Christian suppression of sexual desire as some kind of radical and nefarious assault on normal human sexuality.

If Sheila Maker had urged a non-Christian young woman to pray for less sexual desire to cheat on her fiancé, I would have been shocked and appalled.  But all she did was try to comfort and advise a young person who was struggling with her choice of holding fast to her religious creed, a challenge faced by both gay and straight people of many sects of Christianity, Islam and several other religions which believe that one should put family commitments ahead of sexual fulfillment.

You can call monogamy/chastity and the religious suppression of sexual desire unhealthy if you like (and I certainly do), but it's how millions of people live and is central to their value systems, and to shame them for living according to their beliefs is just as narrow-minded and hateful as those who shun gays.

Those who wish to promote tolerance and love should take extra care not to be intolerant.

I'm very concerned about this article and wish the author and editor had been more concerned as well.  There is a lot of implication and innuendo, but no smoking gun.  Still, the name and picture of the therapist is posted.  This smacks of fomenting an irresponsible witch hunt and to my mind is clearly a "don't go there" type of situation.

Oh, and I'm no fan of Bachmann, homophobia, conservatives, etc. 

It seems to me that Lapinsky informed the therapist that she was a lesbian but wanted to marry a man. It is not a leap for the therapist to try and facilitate that and doesn't betray a bais against same sex attraction. Should the therapist have said "you are a lesbian and have no business wanting to marry a man..."? That wouldn't have been very supportive.The other thing that bugs me about this article is that it does not appear to follow standard journalistic practice of getting a statement from both sides. It appears to me that this therapist was genuinely trying to help someone and now her and her family have been dragged into the gutter because she happens to work for the husband of an ex presidential candidate.All I can say is that you can't fight for a true cause by spreading lies and half truths...

I'm no fan of the Bachmanns, but I can't help feeling this is a bit like the Shirley Sherrod thing. We don't know anything about how Lipinski presented her problems to the counselor. Did she talk about wanting to have a "satisfying relationship" with her fictional fiance? Did she lay bits & pieces of information out to goad Marker into saying what she wanted to hear (and record)?

Any sane, thinking person would reserve judgment on this until they have all the relevant info. Or better yet, ignore the story altogether.

I am a lesbian woman living in Saint Paul with my beautiful girlfriend. For Easter I was invited over to her families house for dinner. I was very nervous because this would be the first time I have met her family and I knew they were religious, unlike myself. Right away when I stepped in the door my girlfriends mother gave me a hug and made me feel so very welcome in her home. She was kind and attentive and never once made me feel awkward or ashamed that I was in a relationship with her daughter, who she loves very much. The afternoon was a perfect "meet the parents" situation. My girlfriends mother even made it a point to send her a text saying how nice it was to meet me, and yes she liked me. That mother was Sheila Marker. This post is borderline slander of a good woman who loves her gay daughter. What Christian woman would advise any engaged person to explore sexually outside of the commitment she has made to another person? I can't image her ever advising some one to "pray the gay away" but I can see her advising some one to explore their love to the person they are engaged to which is what it sounds like she did.

So now we can cast judgement on those who "imply" things without any sort of proof? First of all, nothing in that statement implied anything except finding out what would make Lapinski genuinely happy. I heard nothing in there that indicated "fixing" her homosexuality. What she said was clearly taken out of context and to me sounds pretty clearly like Lapinski indicated she would rather be with her fiance, and in which case, why wouldn't Sheila Marker encourage her to be with him. Think about it: If I went to Sheila as a straight woman and said "Hey, I am thinking about leaving my fiance for another man" would she encourage me to do it? Probably not. Secondly-Lapinski sounds like someone who is twisting words and manipulating situations to get herself and her movie in the spotlight. What she doesn't realize is that sort of rogue behavior is actually damaging to her cause. Thirdly- I know Sheila Marker and her daughter Erika personally (went to school and played sports with Erika) and I can safely say that without a doubt that this is a case of twisted words. The media has a nasty habit of taking quotes out of context. Let's hear the whole conversation before we judge. When will activists like Lapinski learn that by manipulating things and sensationalizing stories to create drama only HURT the cause they are actually trying to support. If you want people to support your cause, don't go lying about what's really happening.

I actually have first hand experience with this, and was treated with high levels of respect at this clinic. I was actually shocked my Christian therapist was so open and helpful. He never tried to push ex-gay practices on me. His quote was actually "who ever you end up with, it's my job to make sure you are in a healthy relationship" I guess each practicing thererapist has their own agenda though.

I am gay and my mother loves and accepts me. My girlfriend and I went to Easter dinner with my family at my parents house. I am upset that you would try to portray a wonderful woman like my mother in this way. She is a CHRISTIAN counselor. Of course she is going to tell you to pray not to mention, Christians believe that giving the lord your problems is the thing to do with ANY problem, not just your sexual desires. furthermore, as a marriage counselor, of course she is not going to encourage your "desires" for people other than your fiance, whether it is for women or men. she is going to encourage you to stay true to your commitment. I believe that you are the one being arrogant, or maybe it is stupidity.

Umm, excuse me, but if God can create the universe in twenty minutes or seven days or whatever, and make it SEEM like evolution happened (but only to sinners!) then surely he can lovingly remove people's personalities/dispositions from their heads just because they asked him to...

If they really think that, why aren't they busy trying to get people to 'pray away the rapist-thoughts?' or 'Murder-stabbies?'