Rock bottom? Derek Lowe shuts out Twins, admits he basically threw one pitch all game

Categories: Twins
joe mauer grounder.jpg
Joe Mauer hitting weak grounders has become a disgustingly familiar sight this season.
Anybody know what Barry Bonds and Chuck Knoblauch are up to these days? Terry Ryan should probably call them -- it's hard to imagine they'd hit any worse than the completely inept players Minnesota Twins manager Ron Gardenhire is forced to trot out game after game.

With a .278 winning percentage, the Twins aren't far removed from entering the 'worst team ever' conversation. The modern day standard for ineptitude was set by the 1962 New York Mets, who went 40-120 for a nice round .250 winning percentage.

Let's hope to God that yesterday afternoon at Target Field was rock bottom for the 2012 Twins, because it's hard to imagine what getting worse would entail. During a 5-0 loss to the division-leading Cleveland Indians, the Hometown Nine were shutout by 38-year-old pitcher Derek Lowe. Was it a result of his dominating stuff? Hardly. Lowe became the first pitcher since 2002 to pull off a shutout without striking out a single opposing batter.

Then, as if to rub salt on the wound, Lowe admitted after the game that he basically threw one pitch all day long while thoroughly baffling the double play-prone and completely punchless Twins lineup.

The Associated Press' Jon Krawczynski offered up the following tweets while Lowe was speaking to reporters: On the bright side, after yesterday's dreadful performance, the Twins activated slugger Justin Morneau, who had been on the disabled list with a bothersome wrist. That'd be good news if Twins fans had any good reason to believe Morneau will be able to stay healthy and productive for an extended stretch for the first time since the summer of 2010.

Maybe Ron Coomer can put down the microphone and take a few licks as DH? Come on, Terry, make the call, it's not like there's anything left to lose!

Related 2012-Twins-are-horrible coverage:
-- The Minnesota Twins are more than twice as bad as the second-worst team in baseball
-- Minnesota Twins have worst run differential in the MLB, second largest attendance decline
-- 2012 Twins projections: Getting comfy in the AL Central cellar

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7 comments
David Foureyes
David Foureyes

I won't complain...tickets are cheap.

Though if I'm going to pay to see a baseball game I do not care about the outcome of, I'd rather see the Saints (on a Monday...dollar beers!).

Ko
Ko

Dude, maybe we need to buy them another stadium or something.

Mac Wilson
Mac Wilson

"There are no absolutes in human misery and things can always get worse." --Cormac McCarthy

Scott
Scott

Exactly, buy them something else that will make them magically awesome. Maybe some fucking lucky charms eh?  Screw all pro sports, they are all fixed, and the players are all a bunch of overgrown babies anyways.

ludwigtr
ludwigtr

We always say "could be worse, you could be on fire"...

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