Brian Wutschke allegedly drove down University Ave. fellating a sex toy

brian wutschke rect.jpg
Wutschke is allegedly Minnesota's most perverted distracted driver.
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Dead-deer ditch sex, holding up traffic because you're too preoccupied pleasuring a sex toy to drive... human sexuality is a complex thing, people.

Yesterday, Brian Wutschke, a 45-year-old Farmington resident, was arrested after police responded to reports of a man driving down University Ave. while sucking on a sex toy. The police call was made by a woman who witnessed Wutschke's strange sexy show while she was waiting at the University and Marion bus stop in St. Paul.

"I've seen a lot of University Avenue, but never anything like this," the woman told the Pioneer Press, adding that Wutschke was blocking traffic and within eyeshot of several kids.

After cops pulled Wutschke over, they found a sex toy under his flannel shirt, several pairs of panties lying all about his car, and a nice little surprise under his belt.

We'll let the Pioneer Press tell you about that: "When [officers] performed a pat-down search of the man and reached 'the waistline area,' officers could feel something vibrating. The man then informed them he also had a sex toy inserted inside him."

Inserted inside him? No wonder he was having a hard time concentrating on the road.

Wutschke was booked into jail on suspicion of indecent exposure and obscene materials and performance, both misdemeanors.


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27 comments
camaroaustin
camaroaustin

Un-Fricken Real. Every time you think the human race can't stoop any lower something like this comes up.

bruceusa2086
bruceusa2086

apparently, he was trying to stimulate his prostate with the sex toy. now thats obscene

swmnguy
swmnguy topcommenter

See, these exurbanites come to the Big City and they just go wild.  It's an old story.

Belladomme Milaya
Belladomme Milaya

Yeah, keep this behavior on 94 for the drunk 2am border runs to Sex World people! Perhaps I've said too much...

Ly-Zhou Sherry
Ly-Zhou Sherry

City Pages, you always manage to kill me with your tales. WTF, people?????????

Ly-Zhou Sherry
Ly-Zhou Sherry

City Pages, you always manage to kill me with your tales. WTF, people?????????

Tami Steinke
Tami Steinke

wow. This is on the list of things I didn't need to know about.

Carin Leonard-Gorrill
Carin Leonard-Gorrill

Here's a good time to think, "Would I do this if they published it in the newspaper for all to read about?" No? Then maybe it's time to put the sex toy away... Yikes.

Carin Leonard-Gorrill
Carin Leonard-Gorrill

Here's a good time to think, "Would I do this if they published it in the newspaper for all to read about?" No? Then maybe it's time to put the sex toy away... Yikes.

Ben Weidt
Ben Weidt

OH MY GOD HORATIO CAINE HAHAHAHAHA

Ben Weidt
Ben Weidt

OH MY GOD HORATIO CAINE HAHAHAHAHA

Horatio Caine
Horatio Caine

Guess police didn't need a breathalyzer... to know what he blew. YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Erin Munn
Erin Munn

Maybe he's trying to quit smoking?

Chris Welton
Chris Welton

as weird as this is, was he really hurting anyone else?

LtFrankBullitt
LtFrankBullitt

@1bittercritter why did you tag me on this one??? Geesh... #notakeeper #douche

Jarred Mecca
Jarred Mecca

WOW! Do, people even think of doing this behind closed doors!? Well a sex defender deserves being put behind bars

Kyle Amundson
Kyle Amundson

Well if this guy can't attract a mate, is there any hope for the rest of us guys driving around with dildo's hanging out of our mouths?

Nick Twist
Nick Twist

So... is the end of the summer the most sexually frustrating for the mentally unstable? Or are you just picking sex crimes as a theme for the day?

1bittercritter
1bittercritter

@LtFrankBullitt : cuz it was funny, guy blowing a dildo #no?

LtFrankBullitt
LtFrankBullitt

@1bittercritter yes, funny... strange... seriously what's wrong with people. I hope he lost a bet...

1bittercritter
1bittercritter

@LtFrankBullitt : nope, he had a vibrator up his butt as well

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