Chris Kluwe to Emmett Burns: Gay marriage "won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster"

Categories: GLBT, Vikings
emmett burns kluwe.jpg
Kluwe to Burns: "Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level."
SEE ALSO: Chris Kluwe says politician is "literally an asshole" for anti-gay marriage stance

Last week, Vikings punter Chris Kluwe said Maryland Delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. (D-Baltimore County) is "literally an asshole" for writing a letter demanding that Baltimore Ravens ownership silence linebacker and outspoken gay marriage advocate Brendon Ayanbadejo.

But Kluwe wasn't satisfied. Last Friday, he wrote a letter to Burns in hopes of persuading the Baptist minister "to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in."

The letter, published on Deadspin, cites the First Amendment ("not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain"), the historical politicization of professional sports ("As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have 'no place in a sport'?), and the fact that gays tying the knot will have little direct impact upon homophobes ("I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life... They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster") as reasons Burns should reconsider his view.

Will the letter change Burns' mind? Probably not, but Kluwe's outspoken and humorous gay rights crusade is apparently persuading some Minnesotans to reconsider where they stand on same-sex marriage.

Jeffrey Monaghan, a Minnesotan living near Lake Superior, sent the following tweet to Kluwe after reading the Burns letter:

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
13 comments
swmnguy
swmnguy topcommenter

What I really like about Kluwe's rant is that it's very well composed, for one thing, but it also dispenses with this notion that we have to be polite to these people who hold these awful views and seek to use their power and authority to force their views on others.  I hope people don't allow others to focus on the profanity of Kluwe's masterful invective to distract from the content, and to avoid having to confront what Kluwe actually said.  Because there's really no response to what he said.  At least no response anyone with a shred of shame can state out loud.

 

You don't have to like gay people.  You don't have to want them to be able to get married.  You don't have to want to allow them the same rights as any other citizen.  But you don't get to pretend that you have any higher motives than spite.  Not any more.  If you want to have those views, you're going to have to come right out and have those views, in the open.  And take the heat from the majority of people, who find those views appalling.  People who want to use their power to mind other people's business and don't want all Americans to have the same rights as all Americans just like to hurt people, and there's nothing more to it than that.

 

This "issue" is already over.  It's been decided by the people.  The legal universe and the political universe may take a little while to sort out how they're going to adapt to the reality that's already in effect, but that's just the aftermath.  There's no issue anymore.

rpipho
rpipho

@JohnnaV You know, he's on the Twitter @ChrisWarcraft. He's freaking hilarious. You may be sarcasm soulmates! :)

MelissaBee
MelissaBee

I think it's great that he put all of that into words, I think Kluwe is a verbal master after reading this- his letter should be published so that every homophobe can read it.

Brian Eh
Brian Eh

Chris Kluwe is bang on here in his stance against Emmett Burns' idiocy. Should Kluwe choose to enter the world of politics after he punts his last football in the NFL, he'll have a bright future ahead of him in that field, too.

Jeff Cagle
Jeff Cagle

I am surprised you guys didn't post this sooner.

TierneyMN
TierneyMN

@JohnnaV ohhh so now youre a Vikes fan again?? ;)

Tammy Marshall
Tammy Marshall

I am not a Gay person but if I were I wouldn't want Chris Kluwe standing up for me! He's a tool!! Every bit as ignorant and immature as Emmett Burns!! Grow up Kluwe!

Trevor Ludwig
Trevor Ludwig

Like telling you, Neicy, that instead of commenting on blog articles, you need to keep to stocking those shelves at wal-mart, right?

Ly-Zhou Sherry
Ly-Zhou Sherry

Oh, but I've become a lustful cockmonster. And that's with or without marriage rights. Heterosexuals made me what I am: a monster of cocks.

Andy Boettcher
Andy Boettcher

I literally stood up at my desk and gave Chris a standing ovation after reading his letter. Colorful metaphors aside, it's right on point.

Lola House
Lola House

While I think it's cool he is standing up for what he believes in...he needs to stick to punting that football and keep it moving.

JohnnaV
JohnnaV

@rpipho Thank you! @ChrisWarcraft You're now my favorite punter, before you it was...umm...it was...that one guy

Now Trending

Minnesota Concert Tickets

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Loading...