Wisconsin man arrested for humping discarded curbside couch

gerald streator couch.jpg
Streator was somehow turned on by a discarded couch. We shudder to think what he'd do alone in Sears.
Gerald Streator, 46, is married and lives with his wife. Yet on September 3, he was busted having carnal relations with a discarded curbside couch in Waukesha, Wisconsin. Draw your own conclusions.

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An off-duty officer was jogging around 11 p.m. that night when he ran into Streator making love to a loveseat.

From the police report:
[The officer] observed a yellow couch on the side of the road that appeared to be abandoned. As he got closer to the couch he could see a subject leaing over the couch facing down and it looked like he was having sexual relations with someone on the couch. [The officer] indicates as he got closer to the couch he could see the subject was a white male and it still appeared that he was having sexual relations as he could see the male's hips thrusting up and down on the couch. At this point [the officer] decided to confront the male subject because of the inappropriateness of his action to find out if anybody else was involved. Upon approaching ten to fifteen feet from the male subject... [the officer] yelled 'what are you doing.' At this time the defendant jumped off the couch, looked at [the officer] and then began to run east from this location. [The officer] stated that when the defendant stood up and looked at him he could see that the defendant's penis was erect. [The officer] ran to the location of the couch and observed that there was nobody else on the couch and he believed that the defendant had been thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions.
Well... that's Weird Wisconsin at its best.

The officer gave chase to the suspect, later identified as Streator, and though he was able to escape justice that night by "quickly pulling [his apartment] door closed behind him," the officer returned to his apartment the next day and talked to Streator's wife. She told him her husband works in the kitchen at the local County Springs Hotel, where he was arrested without incident.

Streator's charged with a misdemeanor count of lewd and lascivious behavior. According to the police report, he adamantly denies ever leaving his apartment the night of September 3. Streator's scheduled to appear in court next Monday, and thankfully for him, abandoned couches don't kiss and tell.

Hat-tip: The Smoking Gun

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