Adrian Peterson's anti-gay marriage remark disappoints his boyfriend, writes The Onion

AP Tmz rect.jpg
The Onion: "Adrian Peterson's Boyfriend Can Take A Hint"
Adrian Peterson isn't "down" with gay marriage. That remark is sure to disappoint some of his gay fans, but of course, nobody is more disappointed than his boyfriend, If The Onion can be believed.

THE BACKSTORY: Adrian Peterson on gay marriage: "I'm not with that"

Of course, it can't (or shouldn't be believed, at least), but nonetheless, here's the satire site's humorous take on the controversy AP generated with his to-each-his-own-but-I'm-keeping-it-real remark about opposing gay marriage:
MINNEAPOLIS--Responding to Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson publicly asserting his firm opposition to gay marriage, the reigning MVP's longtime boyfriend Scott Oakes told reporters Tuesday that he "can take a hint" and now understands that the athlete isn't interested in marrying him. "All right, Adrian, I get the message loud and clear," said Oakes, noting that Peterson's stated position that gay marriage is "not something [he believes] in" perfectly explained why his lover had yet to pop the question at any point in their three-year relationship. "He can't see himself being with me in the long term? That's fine, but if that's how he feels, he should have had the guts to tell me directly rather than letting it slip out in some radio interview. I'm not with that." Oakes added that, with Peterson now out of the picture, he was considering trying to patch things up with his former flame, Miami Dolphins wide receiver Mike Wallace.
We await Chris Kluwe's response.

-- Follow Aaron Rupar on Twitter at @atrupar. Got a tip? Drop him a line at arupar@citypages.com.

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25 comments
Dee Finkelson
Dee Finkelson

ohh... i dunno that he's gay. Really? is he, really?.... oh...

Matthew Hanson
Matthew Hanson

Maybe if you were actually so culturally aware you would have heard of The Onion in the past ten years.

Matthew Hanson
Matthew Hanson

Hahaha so many dumb people. "liek omg how is this even nooz wtf is ron wit world"

Joe Duggan
Joe Duggan

"we await chris kluwe's response" hahahah

nbrooks4
nbrooks4

He's a football player, who really cares what he thinks or says?  But if true, I feel bad for his boyfriend having to find out that way.

swmnguy
swmnguy topcommenter

It's silly, and kind of funny. If you don't think it's funny, fine; move along.

Shawn Kuiper
Shawn Kuiper

This is silly why is this news again? Does there not have to be a little bit if truth in a story to consider it news worth if we wanted to read the onion news we would subscribe to it, and like others have said its his right to agree or disagree so you really gives a rats ass

Katie Hole
Katie Hole

The Onion is reserved for people with a sense of humor. If you aren't equipped for satire move on with your dull life.

Jill Whiteford Mahurin
Jill Whiteford Mahurin

So...is this actually news or is The Onion and CP showing their intolerance of someone's opinion doesn't mirror their own?

Marlena Myles
Marlena Myles

I enjoyed the Onion's satire. He's a public figure and he wants to share his opinion? Well. Prepared to be ridiculed for them too.

Soleil Morgan
Soleil Morgan

the media press should be spit at for how they get news like this out to the public.

Pete Stockwell
Pete Stockwell

Cant take how douchey this "paper" is. Unliking this lame ass page asap

McLain Causey
McLain Causey

Though the irony is there was a similar pitches battle to secure him the freedom to wed a white woman..

McLain Causey
McLain Causey

This is only a story if he's doing something about his prejudice or expressing it in an offensive way. Leave him alone, he's just a football player who answered a question truthfully.

Angela Breedlove
Angela Breedlove

whyt does everyone have to agree on gay marriage, i have gays in my family, but that does not mean I have to love what they do..its like folks are trying to force people to accept something, that has always been taught to the older generation as bad, give people time..

Troy Curfman
Troy Curfman

Everybody has thier own opinion... so what? move on and forget.

keny1
keny1

The Onion actually used to be funny (circa 1999-2006) and now it is almost as lame as the CP.

chrisfl
chrisfl

@Jill Whiteford Mahurin Neither the Onion or CP are saying you can't be a bigot, but it's appropriate and newsworthy to report on a high-profile person being a nudge-nudge, wink-wink bigot.

MicheleBachmann
MicheleBachmann topcommenter

@Pete Stockwell Oh no City Pages doesn't meet Pete Suckwell's high standards.  

ChazDanger
ChazDanger topcommenter

@Pete Stockwell Haha Rage Quit!

chrisfl
chrisfl

@Angela Breedlove No.

peeve
peeve

@keny1 at least it isn't as bad as the Daily Currant

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